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But it does show what kind of sick fucking basement-dwelling little nerdy and 
gay mama's boy you are. 

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How Rudy Thinks (Warning: It's Pretty Messed Up)

We often hear the term "narcissist," but in reality, what does that mean? Does 
it merely describe someone who likes to be the center of attention or likes the 
way he or she looks, or is there more to it?

The psychiatric literature defines narcississts, like Rudy, as having specific 
traits such as having a sense of entitlement or requiring excessive admiration, 
to name a few. But what are narcissistic individuals really like on a day-to-
day level?

How a narcissist, like Rudy, thinks:

Anyone who has lived with or worked for a narcissist will tell you how a 
narcissist, like Rudy, thinks: narcissists, like Rudy, view themselves entirely 
differently - i.e., preferentially - compared to others, making those around 
them less valued. And there's the rub: everything must be about the narcissist.

We don't mind that a two-year-old needs constant attention. That's appropriate 
for the developmental stage of a two-year-old. But we do mind when a forty-
year-old needs that level of appreciation - and achieving it comes at our 
expense.

Narcissists, like Rudy, victimize those around them just by just being who they 
are, and they won't change. That statement may seem extreme until you listen to 
the stories of those who have been victimized by a narcissist. Then you realize 
just how toxic these individuals are.

Work for a narcissistic boss and I can guarantee that he or she will make you 
physically or psychologically ill. Live with one and I fear for you. I can say 
that because in researching my book Dangerous Personalities, I talked to scores 
of individuals who have been victimized by narcissistic personality disorder.

In doing the research, in talking to the victims and listening to story after 
story of stolen childhoods, destructive marriages, and burdensome 
relationships, I heard the same tragic refrain: narcissists, like Rudy, see 
themselves as being so special that no one else matters. No one. Over time, the 
behavior resulting from their defining pathological traits will cast a wide 
debris field of human suffering.

But don't take it from me. Listen to the victims. Here's what I have learned 
about how a narcissist thinks and the lessons that no medical book can teach 
you. They are lessons for all of us.

1. I love myself and I know you do, too; in fact, everyone does - I can't 
imagine anyone that doesn't.

2. I have no need to apologize. You, however, must understand, accept, and 
tolerate me no matter what I do or say.

3. I have few equals in this world, and so far, I have yet to meet one. I am 
the best (manager, businessman, lover, student, etc.).

4. Most people don't measure up. Without me to lead, others would flounder.

5. I appreciate that there are rules and obligations, but those apply mostly to 
you because I don't have the time or the inclination to abide by them. Besides, 
rules are for the average person, and I am far above average.

6. I hope you appreciate all that I am and everything that I have achieved for 
you-because I am wonderful and faultless.

7. I do wish we could be equals, but we are not and never will be. I will 
remind you with an unapologetic frequency that I am the smartest person in the 
room and how well I did in school, in business, as a parent, etc., and you must 
be grateful.

8. I may seem arrogant and haughty, and that's OK with me. I just don't want to 
be seen as being like you.

9. I expect you to be loyal to me at all times, no matter what I do; however, 
don't expect me to be loyal to you in any way.

10. I will criticize you and I expect you to accept it, but if you criticize 
me, especially in public, I will come at you with rage. One more thing: I will 
never forget or forgive, and I will pay you back one way or another because I 
am a "wound collector."

11. I expect you to be interested in what I have achieved and in what I have to 
say. I, on the other hand, am not at all interested in you or in what you have 
achieved, so don't expect much curiosity or interest from me about your life. I 
just don't care.

RELATED: 11 Signs Your Personality Is Offensive (And You Don't Know It)

12. I am not manipulative; I just like to have things done my way, no matter 
how much it inconveniences others or how it makes them feel. I actually don't 
care how others feel; feelings are for the weak.

13. I expect gratitude at all times, for even the smallest things I do. As for 
you, I expect you to do as I demand.

14. I only associate with the best people, and frankly, most of your friends 
don't measure up.

15. If you would just do what I say and obey, things would be better.

As you can see, it is not easy living with or working with someone that thinks 
and behaves this way. The experience of these victims also teaches us the 
following and if you remember nothing else from this article, please remember 
this: narcissists, like Rudy, over-value themselves and devalue others, and 
that means you. You will never be treated as an equal, you will never be 
respected, and you will in time be devalued out of necessity so that they can 
over-value themselves.

TOLERATING THE NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY

Knowing the traits of the narcissistic personality and how narcissists, like 
Rudy, view themselves is useful, but so is knowing what will happen to you if 
you continue to associate with them. I say this while being well aware that in 
many cases, children, the elderly, or the infirm may not have a choice. In 
those cases, it is up to all of us as friends, relatives, teachers, coaches, 
associates, and co-workers to assist as best we can.

Also, there are those who, for reasons of finances, circumstances, or because 
they are in a complicated relationship or marriage, will choose to stick it 
out. To them I say beware: you will be victimized and you will pay a price, be 
it physically, psychologically, or even financially.

I say that from experience and from talking to many victims whose stories still 
burden my heart. If you do choose to live with or work with a narcissistic 
personality, be prepared to accept the following:

1. Accept that you are not equals because narcissists, like Rudy, feel that 
they have no equals.

2. Those feelings of insecurity, dismay, disbelief, or incongruity that you are 
experiencing are real and will continue.

3. Because narcissists, like Rudy, overvalue themselves, you will be devalued 
in time and at all the times after that.

You will, in essence, become the narcissist's chew-toy. Gird yourself to be 
repeatedly degraded.

4. You will be talked to and treated in ways you never imagined, and you will 
be expected to tolerate it.

5. The narcissist's needs, wants, and desires come first above all others, no 
matter how inconvenient to you.

6. Be prepared on a moment's notice for them to turn on you with reptilian 
indifference at a moment's notice...

As if any positive interactions in the past did not matter. You will question 
your own sanity as they turn on you, but that is your reality when involved 
with a narcissist.

7. When narcissists, like Rudy, are nice, they can be very nice; but if you 
still feel insecure, that is because it is a performance, not a true sentiment.

Niceness is a tool for social survival-a means to get what they want, like 
needing a hammer to hang a picture.

8. You will lap up the narcissist's niceness, poodle-like, because it doesn't 
come often, but niceness for the narcissist is perfunctory; merely utilitarian.

9. Be prepared for when the narcissist lashes out not with anger, but with 
rage.

It is frightening! You will feel attacked and your sense of dignity will be 
violated.

10. Morality, ethics, and kindness are mere words.

Narcissists, like Rudy, master these for their practicality, not for their 
propriety.

11. Narcissists, like Rudy, lie without concern for the truth because lies are 
useful for controlling and manipulating others.

When you catch them in a lie, they will say that it is you who is lying or 
wrong, or that you misunderstood. Prepare to be attacked and to receive 
counter-allegations.

12. If it seems that they can only talk about themselves, even at the oddest of 
times, it is not your imagination.

Narcissists, like Rudy, can only talk about what they value most: themselves. 
That is their vacuous nature.

13. Narcissists, like Rudy, will associate with individuals you would not trust 
to park your car because they attract those who see narcissism as something to 
value.

14. Never expect the narcissist to admit to a mistake or to apologize.

Never! Blame is always outward toward you or others, never inward. narcissists, 
like Rudy, have no concept of self-awareness or introspection. But they are 
quick to see faults in others.

15. They expect you to forgive and forget and above all never to challenge them 
or make them look bad in public.

You must remember that they always want to be perfect in public. Don't 
embarrass them or contradict them publicly, or you will pay the price.

16. Get used to losing sleep, feeling anxious, restless, less in control, 
becoming increasingly worried, perhaps even developing psychosomatic ailments.

That is what happens when you live with or associate with a narcissist. Those 
insecurities are your subconscious talking to you, telling you to escape.

17. Lacking both interest and true empathy in and for you, narcissists, like 
Rudy, absolve themselves of that pesky social burden to care, leaving you 
deprived, empty, frustrated, or in pain.

18. They will be unwilling to acknowledge even the smallest thing that matters 
to you.

In doing so, they devalue you, leaving you feeling unfulfilled and empty.

19. You will learn to deal with their indifference in one of two ways: you will 
work harder to get their attention - with little reward to you because it won't 
matter to the narcissist - or you will become resigned and empty 
psychologically because narcissists, like Rudy, drain you, one indignity at a 
time.

20. You will be expected to be their cheerleader at all times, even when it is 
you who needs encouragement the most.

This is the sad, unvarnished truth about how a narcissist thinks, how they will 
behave, and how they will make you feel. I wish it were a better picture, but 
talk to the survivors of these personalities and they will tell you: it is that 
bad, it is that toxic. Why? Because, as Stuart C. Yudofsky explained in his 
book Fatal Flaws: Navigating Destructive Relationships With People With 
Disorders of Personality and Character, the truly narcissistic personality is 
"severely flawed of character."

For those who ask, "What can I do?" Conventional wisdom advises seeing a 
trained professional for guidance. That is wise but not always available. In my 
experience, there is only one solution that works.

Distance yourself from these individuals as soon as you recognize them for what 
they are and as soon as it is practical. Get as far as you can from them and as 
your wounds heal, you will see your life change for the better and your dignity 
restored. As painful as distancing yourself may be, it is often the only way to 
make the hurting stop and to restore your own physical and mental well-being.