Davin News Server

On Sat, 29 Jun 2024 18:40:19 -0700,  Alan says...  

> > It's not an error. I wrap at 80 characters on purpose, now that I know it
> > bothers you libtards.
> 
> It is an error... an error of character to inconvenience people for no 
> reason; no good reason.

https://i.imgur.com/bl3bJ2J.png

Always changing the rules, this one.

=====

13 Ways Narcissists Behave Like Children
How narcissists' tactics can be eerily similar to kids in their 'Terrible Twos'

I recently watched a friend's 5-year-old try to convince his mother to let him 
change the rules and watch TV before doing his homework.

"The homework takes so long. It's too hard," the child implored.

Then, without skipping a beat, the child said, "But if you let me watch TV 
first, I can get the homework done in a jiffy. It'll be easy," he said.

We don't necessarily expect young children to be consistent. They are learning 
how the world works and just trying to get their needs met.

Like children, narcissistic adults also bend the truth. Narcissists believe (or 
at least act like they believe) that whatever they say in each moment is the 
absolute truth. No matter that their statements are often completely 
contradictory.

But unlike innocent children, narcissists' inconsistencies and manipulations 
have far greater consequences to those around them.

If you expect narcissists to consistently behave like responsible adults, you 
are likely to be disappointed.

When narcissists feel humiliated, slighted, or inferior, they frequently revert 
to a childlike state, behaving like a child during the "terrible twos."

Such regression is not surprising. Narcissistic Personality Disorder may 
develop due to early trauma or family influences that can leave a person 
emotionally stuck at a young age.

Adult narcissists use sophisticated versions of childlike responses. When seen 
in this light, the often mystifying and maddening actions of narcissists begin 
to make sense.

For example, a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar after being told to 
wait until after dinner will respond in one or more of a baker's dozen of 
predictable ways, as follows:

Blame someone else. "But I didn't know you were watching, so it's not my 
fault."
Say they had no choice. "But I was starving!"
Pretend they don't know what you are talking about. "What cookies?"
Recite good things they have done. "But I looked at them for a really long time 
before taking one."
Cry or act like a victim. "I always get caught. It's not fair."
Deny they did anything wrong. "I was just looking for later, I wasn't going to 
eat it now."
Get mad at you. "You're a mean Mommy."
Change the subject. "Can I go play now?"
Try to charm you. "But I love you so much, Mommy."
Minimize. "But I don't even like that kind of cookie."
Hide or run away.
Ignore you.
Throw a tantrum. In looking over the above examples, do any seem similar to how 
a narcissist you know responds when feeling stressed, slighted, or thwarted?

These childlike responses bear an uncanny resemblance to the tactics 
narcissists use to avoid responsibility and manipulate others:

Blaming
Making excuses
Pretending
Seeking credit
Playing the victim
Denying
Attacking
Distracting
Charming
Minimizing
Withdrawing
Stonewalling
Acting out

Coping with narcissists can be maddening. The next time you feel mystified or 
on the defensive by a narcissist's behavior, envision him or her as a 2-year-
old in an adult body. They are seeking to avoid blame and shame.

Of course, adult narcissists have more power than children. Given that, you 
have to choose your responses wisely.

Here are some strategies that can help:

Give them choices. If you take your child to a crowded restaurant when you're 
in a hurry, you give the child choices. Instead of asking what they want to 
eat, you say "Do you want mac and cheese or a PBJ?" Similarly, suggesting 
options to an acting-out narcissist may let them feel in control.

Don't personalize their behavior. You don't take a child's pouting personally. 
They are in the throes of emotions they haven't yet learned to contain. Most 
children learn to self-soothe over time.

Narcissists, however, cannot self-soothe. Their feelings when they are 
embarrassed or disappointed overwhelm them, and they will act out those 
feelings. Expecting adult behavior from a 2-year-old - of any age - will just 
leave you frustrated.

Recognize the alternative realities of narcissists.

Like my friend's 5-year-old I mentioned at the beginning of this post, 
narcissists change facts to suit them.

Narcissists dwell in alternative realities constructed out of their sense of 
entitlement, lack of empathy, and drive to get what they want at any cost.

Such inconsistent behavior needs to be recognized for what it is - a childlike, 
fantasy-world approach to manipulating others.