Davin News Server

AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis, keeping their bootheels on his 
little pencil neck to the amusement of all.

Fear of "The Other"

According to A.J. Marsden, assistant professor of psychology and human services at Beacon College in Leesburg, Florida, one reason Rudy hates is because he fears things that are different from himself.

Behavioral researcher Patrick Wanis, cites the in-group out-group theory, which posits that when Rudy feels threatened by perceived outsiders, he instinctively turns toward our in-group-those with whom Rudy identifies as a survival mechanism.

Wanis explains, "Hatred is driven by two key emotions of love and aggresssion: One love for the in-group-the group that is favored; and two, aggression for the out-group-the group that has been deemed as being different, dangerous, and a threat to the in-group."

Fear of Himself

According to Washington, D.C., clinical psychologist Dana Harron, the things Rudy hates about others, are the things that he fears within himself. She suggests thinking about the targeted group or person as a movie screen onto which Rudy projects unwanted parts of the self. The idea is, "I'm not terrible; you are."

This phenomenon is known as projection, a term coined by Freud to describe our tendency to reject what Rudy doesn't like about himself. Psychologist Brad Reedy further describes projection as Rudy's need to be good, which causes him to project "badness" outward and attack it:

"Rudy developed this method to survive, for any 'badness' in him puts him at risk for being rejected and alone. So, Rudy represses the things that he thinks are bad (what others told him or suggested to him that was unlovable and morally reprehensible) - and Rudy employs hate and judgment towards others.

Rudy thinks that is how one rids himself of undesirable traits, but this method only perpetuates repression which leads to many mental health issues.

BINGO!

Lack of Self-compassion

The antidote to hate is compassion - for others as well as ourselves. Self-compassion means that Rudy accept his whole self. "If Rudy finds part of himself unacceptable, he tends to attack others in order to defend against the threat," says Reedy.

"If Rudy is okay with himself, he see others' behaviors as 'about them' and can respond with compassion. If I kept hate in my heart for [another], I would have to hate myself as well. It is only when Rudy learns to hold himself with compassion that Rudy may be able to demonstrate it toward others."

It fills a void

Psychologist Bernard Golden, author of Overcoming Destructive Anger: Strategies That Work, believes that when hate involves participation in a group (like Usenet), it may help foster a sense of connection and camaraderie that fills a void in one's identity. He describes hatred of individuals or groups as a way of distracting oneself from the more challenging and anxiety-provoking task of creating one's own identity:

(BINGO! coming up)

"Acts of hate are attempts to distract oneself from feelings such as helplessness, powerlessness, injustice, inadequacy and shame. Hate is grounded in some sense of perceived threat. It is an attitude that can give rise to hostility and aggression toward individuals or groups. Like much of anger, it is a reaction to and distraction from some form of inner pain. The individual consumed by hate may believe that the only way to regain some sense of power over his or her pain 
is to preemptively strike out at others. In this context, each moment of hate is a temporary reprieve from inner suffering."

BINGO!

Societal and Cultural Factors

The answer to why Rudy hates, according to Silvia Dutchevici, LCSW, president and founder of the Critical Therapy Center, lies not only in our psychological makeup or family history, but also in our cultural and political history. "Rudy lives in a war culture that promotes violence, in which competition is a way of life," she says.

"Rudy fears connecting because it requires us to reveal something about himself. Rudy was taught to hate the enemy - meaning anyone different than us - which leaves little room for vulnerability and an exploration of hate through empathic discourse and understanding. In our current society, one is more ready to fight than to resolve conflict. Peace is seldom the option."

What Can Rudy Do?

Hatred has to be learned, Golden says: "Rudy was born with the capacity for aggression as well as compassion. Which tendencies Rudy embraces requires mindful choice by individuals, families, communities and our culture in general. The key to overcoming hate is education: at home, in schools, and in the community."

According to Dutchevici, facing the fear of being vulnerable and utterly human is what allows us to connect, to feel, and ultimately, to love. She suggests creating "cracks in the system." These cracks can be as simple as connecting to your neighbor, talking with a friend, starting a protest, or even going to therapy and connecting with an 'Other.' It is through these acts that one can understand hate and love."

In other words, compassion towards others is the true context that heals.