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Why Does Narcissistic Alan Need So Much Attention

Alan does anything possible to be the center of attention in his social-media circle. Whether Alan achieves this by lying, creating drama, or striving for recognition, any type of attention can quench his thirst.

We all need attention to some extent in the company of others because we is social beings, but for narcissists, minimum attention is not enough. Alan has a deeper hunger for it. Alan feels satisfied only when Alan is the center of attention.

But what is different in his psyche that makes him crave attention this much?

Whenever you see someone with an odd behaviour or personality, know that Alan is behaving that way in order to cover up or make up for an existing shortcoming.

This applies to all people and mostly those with odd personalities, like Alan the narcissist. A lying person will try to look as innocent as possible. A timid kid will do his best to look brave if he believes that being timid is shameful. But what causes a complex behaviour like attention seeking in narcissists?



1. Alan Believes That He Deserves It

Narcissists, like Alan, consider themselves above average, living in the middle of incompetent and below average people. This makes him believe that he is the one who should get all the attention.

Once this belief is fixed, Alan must fiercely work hard to maintain the clues that support it. If Alan finds himself in a situation where he is not the center of attention, this would suggest that he is not that special. This can badly hurt his fragile ego.

In other words Alan needs so much attention because he is afraid to be considered average.

However, the belief Alan holds about attention-seeking can play a big role. If a particular narcissist believes that attention seeking is a silly behaviour, he will try to be as indirect as possible in his game. 
GIVING UP ATTENTION IS NOT AN OPTION.



2. It Is A Source of Narcissistic Supply

Narcissistic supply involves, projecting larger-than-life qualities to the public or selected individuals in order to get positive feedback. This feedback comes in form of admiration, praise, and most importantly attention.

(Only to HIMSELF!)

Note that negative attention is also appreciated to some extent.

He would rather get negative attention that zero attention.

(BINGO!)

This narcissistic supply is the oxygen he breathes. Without it, he would sink into depression and bad moods. 



3. To Cover Up Inferiority Feelings. (LOL)

The popular definition of narcissism says that, "behind the mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem (inferiority)." And that is completely true. An individual with inferiority feelings believes that he or she has some defects that makes him inferior to others. These defects can be real or imagined.

Narcissists, like Alan, fight to be the center of attention because in that situation, people would only focus on a particular positive quality that he is trying to project, (being insulting for example). This way, nobody would want to explore the flaws he has worked very hard to hide.

Even if Alan gets a negative attention through inappropriate behaviour, the goal is still the same. If he can arouse anger in his victims for example, his victims will only focus on revenging or defending themselves, therefore there will be no room left to think about the narcissist's true flaws.



4. He Feels Ignored. (ding ding ding ding... we have a winner!)

Feeling invisible is one of Alan's worst fears.

The problems happen when Alan feels ignored by the people in the most important areas of his social circle (on Usenet, for example). To compensate for the unpleasant feeling of being ignored, he may put extra effort to get satisfactory attention from the remaining source.

For example: if Alan feels ignored, he may over-compensate by seeking more attention from Usenet perceived" enemies". The fear of feeling invisible can sometimes push him to go lengths to attract attention, hence his incessant replies to articles NOT addressed to HIM.