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On Mon, 9 Dec 2024 11:30:09 -0800,  Janithor says...  

> 
> x-no-archive: yes
> 
> On 12/9/2024 10:20 AM, Skeeter wrote:
> > In article <24SdneYNzfNbscr6nZ2dnZfqn_EAAAAA@supernews.com>,
> > pandora@peak.org says...
> >> On Mon, 09 Dec 2024 09:24:36 -0700, Skeeter wrote:
> >>
> >>> Remember when he was a dictator? Remember when he took away all our
> >>> rights? Remember when the country fell apart?
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Yea, neither do I.
> >> Give it time.
> > Why didn't it happen then?
> 
> The man has orange skin.  He's bad.  Do the math.

OK.

1 + 1 = you're a child if you think like that. 

And get help with that TDS.

=====

Trump WINS!

Donald Trump is the 47th U.S. president, defeating Vice President Kamala 
Harris.

Republican Donald Trump was elected President of the United States in the 2024 
election, defeating Vice President Kamala Harris. 

Trump, 78, will begin his second term early next year.

Donald Trump will be inaugurated as the U.S. President on Monday, January 20, 
2025, on the West Front of the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C. 

A Second Trump Administration

==============================================================================

"Trump Derangement Syndrome" Is a Real Mental Condition

All you need to know about "Trump Derangement Syndrome," or TDS.

"Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) is a mental condition in which a person has 
been driven effectively insane due to their dislike of Donald Trump, to the 
point at which they will abandon all logic and reason."

=====

Nym-Shifetr's toddler behaviour:

A) Someone's psychological or emotional age is often evident in emotional 
reactions and habits.

B) Signs of emotional toddler behaviour include emotional escalations, 
blaming, lies, and name-calling.

C) Someone who is an emotionally Toddler may also have poor impulse control, 
need to be the center of attention, or ENGAGE IN BULLYING.

1.	Emotional escalations

2.	Blaming

3.	Lies

4.	Name-calling

5.	Impulsivity-or as therapists say, "poor impulse control"

6.	Need to be the center of attention

7.	Bullying

8.	Budding narcissism

9.	Immature defenses

10.	No observing ego-that is, no ability to see, acknowledge, and learn from 
	their mistakes

How can you assess if an adult functions emotionally more like a toddler? As a 
therapist who works extensively with couples, I have learned that almost any 
client can look reasonably "adult" when I meet with him or her individually.

By contrast, seeing the same client in a couples therapy session where spouses 
are interacting gives me vastly more data. Mistaken, immature, and 
pathological behaviors all become much more visible. I also see the extent to 
which each partner's actions are rude, hurtful, or even dangerously 
Toddlerish-or calm, respectful, and maturely adult.


What Is Emotional Age?

A psychologist from Africa with whom I once spoke at an international 
psychology conference explained to me that in his country, it was common to 
assess people in terms of both physical age and emotional age.

Physical age can be counted by number of birthdays. Physical age, especially 
with toddlers, also tends to correlate with height, strength, and cognitive 
functioning. Psychological or emotional age, by contrast, becomes evident in 
emotional reactions and habits. For instance, adults can stay calm whereas 
toddler tend to be quicker to anger. Adults exercise careful judgment before 
talking whereas toddler may impulsively blurt out tactless, hurtful words.

If toddlers want a car or doll that another toddler is playing with, they are 
likely to reach out and take the item. Most preschoolers get mad or cry 
multiple times every day, even if they are basically well-nurtured and happy 
kids. The rules of adult play, like taking turns or not grabbing, have not yet 
begun to shape their behavior. Youngsters do not act in a consistently civil 
manner because they have not yet internalized the rules of "civilized" adults.

Behaviors that are normal for toddler however, look Toddlerish and rude when 
adults do them.


CAN YOU RECOGNIZE TODDLERISH ADULT BEHAVIOR?

One way to think about how young toddler differ from emotionally mature adults 
is to picture kids you know-maybe even your own toddler, grandtoddler, nieces, 
nephews, and neighbors. How do these toddler differ from adults that you know 
and respect?

Before reading my list of characteristics that I look for, you might want to 
jot down a list of the traits that you noticed in your visualization. Please 
share with other readers in the comments below this article if you spotted 
some traits that I missed.


10 SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL TODDLER BEHAVIOUR

How many of the following signs of emotional immaturity does your list 
include?

Emotional escalations: Young toddlers often cry, get mad, or outwardly appear 
petulant and pouting. Grownups seldom do.

Blaming: When things go wrong, young toddler look to blame someone. Grownups 
look to fix the problem.

Lies: When there's a situation that's uncomfortable, young toddler might lie 
to stay out of trouble. Grownups deal with reality, reliably speaking the 
truth.

Name-calling: toddler call each other names. Adults seek to understand issues. 
Adults do not make ad hominen attacks, that is, attacks on people's personal 
traits. Instead, they attack the problem. They do not disrespect others with 
mean labels.

There is one exception. Sometimes adults, just like firefighters who battle 
forest fires, have to fight fire with fire. They may need to use "fire" to 
manage an angry toddler or an out-of-bounds adult, in order to get them to 
cease their bad behavior.

Impulsivity-or as therapists say, "poor impulse control": toddler strike out 
impulsively when they feel hurt or mad. They speak recklessly or take 
impulsive action without pausing to think about the potential consequences. 
Similarly, instead of listening to others' viewpoints, they impulsively 
interrupt them. 

Adults pause, resisting the impulse to shoot out hurtful words or actions. 
They calm themselves. They then think through the problem, seeking more 
information and analyzing options.

Again, some instances of acting on impulse can be hallmarks of mature 
behavior. Soldiers and police, for instance, are trained to discriminate 
rapidly between harmless and dangerous situations so that they can respond 
quickly enough to protect potential victims of criminal actions.

Need to be the center of attention: Ever tried to have adult dinner 
conversations with a two-year-old at the table? Did attempts to launch a 
discussion with others at the table result in the toddler getting fussy?

Bullying: A toddler who is physically larger than other toddler his age can 
walk up to another child who is playing with a toy he would like and simply 
take it. The other child may say nothing lest the bully turns on them with 
hostility. In many cases, it's safer just to let a bully have what he wants. 
Adults, on the other hand, respect boundaries: Yours is yours and mine is 
mine.

Budding narcissism: In an earlier post, I coined the term tall man syndrome 
for one way that narcissism can develop. If toddler-or adults-can get whatever 
they want because they are bigger, stronger, or richer, they become at risk of 
learning that the rules don't apply to them. Whatever they want, they take. 
This narcissistic tendency may initially look like strength. But in reality, 
it reflects a serious weakness: being unable to see beyond the self.

Psychologically strong people listen to others, hoping to understand others' 
feelings, concerns and preferences. Narcissists hear only themselves and are 
emotionally brittle as a result. They operate like toddler who want to stay 
out and play-even though dinner is on the table-and who pitch a fit rather 
than heed their parent's explanation that the family is eating now. Their 
mindset, in short, is "It's all about me." In the eyes of a narcissist, no one 
else counts; if they don't get their way, they may result to pouting or 
bullying in order to do so.

Immature defenses: Freud coined the term defense mechanisms for ways in which 
individuals protect themselves and/or get what they want. Adults use defense 
mechanisms like listening to others' concerns as well as to their own. They 
then engage in collaborative problem-solving. These responses to difficulties 
signal psychological maturity. toddler tend to regard the best defense as a 
strong offense. While that defensive strategy may work in football, attacking 
anyone who expresses a viewpoint different from what they want is, in life, a 
primitive defense mechanism.

Another primitive defense is denial: "I didn't say that!" or "I never did 
that!" when in fact they did say or do the thing they claim not to have done. 
Sound toddler-like to you?

No observing ego-that is, no ability to see, acknowledge, and learn from their 
mistakes: When emotionally mature adults "lose their cool" and express anger 
inappropriately, they soon after, with their "observing ego," realize that 
their outburst was inappropriate. That is, they can see with hindsight that 
their behavior was out of line with their value system. They can see if their 
outburst has been, as therapists say, ego dystonic (against their value 
system).

Adults who have not yet internalized mature guidelines of respectful behavior 
toward others, or who have not developed ability to observe their behaviors to 
judge what's in line and what's out of line, see their anger as normal. They 
regard their emotional outbursts as ego syntonic, that is, perfectly fine, 
justifying them by blaming the other person. In other words, "I only did it 
because you made me."

If you or someone you know functions more like a toddler than like a grown-up, 
what are your options?

It's easy to love toddler who act like toddler. It's harder to love someone 
who acts like a toddler in the body of a grownup. Still, most toddler-like 
adults only act like Toddlers when they feel under threat.

Therefore, if you love someone who has Toddler-like sides, one strategy is to 
focus primarily on the more adult and attractive aspects of the person. If you 
are the toddler-like one, love your strengths-and pay attention to growing in 
your less mature habit areas.

Another strategy is to cease being surprised when the Toddler-like patterns 
emerge. Thinking, "I can't believe that s/he/I did that!" signifies that you 
have not yet accepted the reality of the toddler-like behaviors. Accepting 
that the behaviors do occur is a first and vital step toward change.

Third, if you are the receiver of Toddler-like behaviors, beware of trying to 
change the other person. Instead, figure out what you can do differently so 
those patterns will no longer be problematic for you. Your job is to keep 
growing yourself, not to change others.

Lastly, learn the skills of adult functioning. Much of what grown-up 
"toddler" do can be considered as a skills deficit. If you tend to be Toddler-
like, learning adult skills can move you into grownup-ville. My book and 
workbook called The Power of Two should help as well.

And if you generally function as a grownup, the more clear you are about what 
constitutes grown-up behavior, the more you will be able to stay a grownup-
even when you are interacting with someone who is acting like a toddler.

Susan Heitler, Ph.D.