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On Fri, 3 Jan 2025 18:45:48 -0500,  JTEM says...  

> morons like you, pretending that reality is created
> anew with each passing second.

Ski Bunny's not here to refute anything... he's here to quench his thirst to be known as the smartest nerd in the room, because of his low-self-
esteem.

He's trying to cope with his life not being what he wants it to be, by trying to make others look dumb, so he can make HIMSELF look smart and feel 
better about himself.

He's over-compensating for things he probably doesn't want to talk about.

=====

Compensation And Defense Mechanisms

Compensation is a psychological defense mechanism when a person tries to "make up for" a perceived area of weakness in their life.

Compensation is a type of defense mechanism in which people overachieve in one area of their lives to compensate for failures in another. For 
example, people with difficult family lives may direct their energy toward excelling at work.

As a psychological strategy, people use compensation to cover up their inadequacies, frustrations, stresses, or urges.1 While it can sometimes be 
beneficial, compensation can cause problems when overused or misapplied.

Let's go over how people use compensation as a defense mechanism and look at the positive and negative effects of the strategy.


What Are Defense Mechanisms?

Defense mechanisms are unconscious responses that protect people from feelings of anxiety or threats to their sense of self. Sigmund Freud first 
described these defenses as part of his personality theory. His daughter, Anna Freud, later did more work on psychological defense mechanisms.

Psychologist Alfred Adler was the first to describe compensation.2 Adler suggested that compensation as a defense mechanism could help people cope 
with feelings of inferiority, and could have positive or negative effects.3

For example, a person may compensate for struggles in their relationships by becoming highly skilled in their work. A negative effect of this 
strategy could be that they work and overachieve to the detriment of their health and well-being.


What to Know About Defense Mechanisms

What Is Compensation?

Compensation means excelling in one area to make up for real or perceived deficits in another. Compensation is often used synonymously with 
"overcompensation," but overcompensation suggests that a person is going far beyond what is necessary to "make up" for a deficiency.

The term "compensation" is frequently used in everyday language. For example, people may say that someone is "just overcompensating" to imply that a 
person is overworking in one area of their life to hide insecurities about other aspects of it.

In some cases, compensation is a conscious choice. For example, if you know you have poor public speaking skills, you might try to compensate for 
those weaknesses by excelling in your written communications at work. When you compensate for a lesser ability, you minimize it by drawing attention 
to stronger skills.

However, compensation can also be unconscious. Your feelings of inadequacy can be hidden and may drive you to try to compensate for them.


Intelligence
A Usenet user feels like they are not as smart as their peers because they struggle in knowing science. They over-compensate by doing everything they 
can to try and make others feel less than they are, so he can feel MORE than he is.

Pros of over-compensation:

Focuses on strengths

Encourages growth

Fosters stronger self-esteem

Boosts self-image

Reinforces the benefits of confronting challenges



Cons of over-compensation:

Leads to discouragement (LOL)

Causes stress in relationships

Reduces motivation

Promotes unhelpful coping skills

Inhibits growth


Pros

Adler suggested that when people experience feelings of inferiority, they automatically feel a compensatory need to strive for superiority. As a 
result, people will push themselves to overcome their weaknesses and achieve their goals. This drive can lead to several positive effects, such as:1

Motivation: People who feel insecure in certain areas of their lives may feel motivated to succeed in others.

Self-image: People who focus their attention and effort on their strengths may have a better sense of self.

Self-development: People who feel insecure or inferior can become motivated to develop new skills, either in the areas where they feel they are weak 
or in areas where they are already strong.

Imagine that you just began taking a dance-based exercise class. At first, you feel out of your element and even a little intimidated because 
everyone else seems so skilled and experienced.



Given your initial feelings of inferiority, you may start practicing yoga at home to improve your flexibility, which you hope will help with your 
dancing. The urge to overcome your feelings of inferiority drives you to develop new skills and stick to a workout routine that you end up really 
enjoying. 



Compensation is considered a mature defense mechanism. Mature defense mechanisms tend to be the most helpful, but they need to be used effectively to 
be beneficial.8

How Is Projection a Defense Mechanism?

Cons

Compensation can prevent people from trying new things or addressing their shortcomings. For example, imagine that a young college student 
experiences feelings of inferiority because they don't have many friends. They see their peers engaging in animated conversations with each other 
everywhere on campus, which reinforces feelings of loneliness and isolation.



The student compensates for this feeling by saying, "I may not have many close friends, but I have excellent grades!" Instead of seeking out social 
connections, the student focuses all their attention and energy on schoolwork and rarely attends social events or has fun. In this example, 
compensation has prevented the student from overcoming feelings of inferiority and limited their growth as a person.

Compensation, particularly if it involves relying heavily on another person, can also strain relationships. For example, a relationship can start to 
feel imbalanced if one partner relies on the other to always pay the bills or handle conflicts between kids.

People who are narcissistic often overcompensate when they experience low self-esteem and jealousy by seeking out power and attention.9



Using Rationalization as a Defense Mechanism

How to Stop Over- or Under-compensating

If you've realized that you are overcompensating or under-compensating, know that having that awareness and looking at your behavior honestly is the 
first step in making changes. Here are a few ways that you can work on trying to stop overcompensating or under-compensating.



Check in with yourself regularly. You can't change a behavior if you're not aware of it, so it can be helpful to practice mindfulness throughout the 
day. These check-ins with yourself-even something as simple as asking, "How am I feeling today?" can help you catch instances where you might be 
over- or under-compensating.

Take notes. When you're doing your daily check-ins, you might find it helpful to jot down your observations in a notebook or keep tabs in a note-
taking app. You may start to pick up on some patterns or specific areas of your life where compensating behavior is happening and possibly causing 
problems. You also want to be on the lookout for instances where you are 'talking down" to yourself or "beating yourself up" over something in your 
life.

Ask others to be honest with you. Sometimes, it's hard to be honest with yourself about your behavior. You may find that feedback from your loved 
ones gives you some much-needed perspective or a "reality check" that alerts you to compensatory behaviors you'd like to change.

Reach out for mental health support. Working with a therapist can be extremely valuable if you are trying to understand and ultimately change your 
behaviors. You need to develop your emotional intelligence, self-compassion, problem-solving skills, and confidence, and therapy can be a safe space 
for doing that important work.

Be kind to yourself. Change won't happen overnight. Chances are, you learned to do the compensatory behaviors you're trying to change over a long 
time, so it will also take time to undo them or replace them with more helpful behaviors. As you work on forming new habits, try to be patient with 
yourself. Remind yourself that you are not perfect (no one is) and that you don't have to try to be perfect. Find people in your life that you can 
practice being vulnerable with and learn to accept your weaknesses.

Set realistic goals. As you work on changing your behavior, take it one step at a time and celebrate even the little successes along the way. Keeping 
track of your progress will help you stay motivated and reinforce that you're capable of making the changes you want to make. While you do want to 
give yourself plenty of opportunities to be challenged, make sure to also continue to do things you enjoy and are good at to boost your confidence.

Keep learning and growing. If there are areas of your life where you feel you have knowledge gaps or weaknesses, you may decide that you want to 
improve your understanding and skills in these areas. Find ways to learn more about them, whether it's taking a class or reading up on your own. Just 
remember that you don't have to "be the best" at something for it to add value and meaning to your life.

============================================================================


Alan's Low Self Esteem FORCES Him To Reply, Even When There's NOTHING To Reply TO

This Is Why Alan Can't Admit He's Wrong

They say it takes a big person to admit their mistakes, but for Alan, saying he's wrong feels impossible.

But why does Alan do it? We've asked psychologist Dr. Tim Sharp, chief happiness officer at The Happiness Institute, to explain:

They think being wrong means they're unworthy - Yup... Low-Self-Esteem

For Alan, conceding that he's fallible can evoke a deep psychological anxiety regarding "the risks or the consequences associated with loss or 
failure," says Sharp.

"I think the reason Alan can't apologize isn't actually because he doesn't like to be wrong, but because it's seen as an inherent character fault," 
he explains.

Sharp says that for non-apologists, the irrational need to always be "perfect" rules their ego and they feel their screw-ups are unforgivable.

"The difficulty in admitting failure largely comes from the unrealistic expectation that 'I should get it right all the time, or not even try or make 
it seem as if I am'" he says.