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May 7, 2025
Opinion: Carney did what voters wanted him to do: Be the adult in the room

Prime Minister Mark Carney meets with U. S. President Donald Trump in the 
Oval Office of the White House, in Washington, on May 6. Evan Vucci/The 
Canadian Press

Theres a philosophy of contemporary toddler-parenting that holds that 
parents should strive to distinguish between behaviours that are harmful or 
dangerous, and those that are merely annoying. Dumping all your toys on the 
floor? Annoying. Throwing your toys? Harmful. Mashing food with your fork? 
Annoying. Mashing your hand with your fork? Dangerous. Parents are 
instructed to intervene when actions could cause real harm, but to mostly 
let the other stuff go.

The intention here is twofold: one, for parents, to preserve their sanity 
(its liberating to realize you dont have to take up every battle) and two, 
for toddlers, to encourage their creative expression. So your toddler wants 
to make a mess of their dinner? So what. Let them do their thing, and get 
them to help clean up the mess afterward. Otherwise, every meal turns into 
a tantrum.

I have no insight as to whether Prime Minister Mark Carney follows 
@biglittlefeelings or similar influencer parenting accounts on Instagram. 
But his conduct during his first public-facing meeting with U. S. President 
Donald Trump at the White House on Tuesday followed precisely what is 
prescribed by such accounts for dealing with highly irrational, emotionally 
volatile individuals who frequently test limits and insist on doing 
everything themselves: two-year-olds, in other words, or on rare occasions, 
American presidents.

Mr. Carney spoke up when the President mused about Canada becoming the 51st 
state; you cannot let the leader of the most powerful nation on Earth talk 
openly about absorbing a sovereign nation any more than you can let a 
toddler try to cut her dolls hair with nail clippers. Its too dangerous. 
But you try to speak their language in order to soften your intervention. 
As you know from real estate, there are some places that are never for 
sale, Mr. Carney said to Mr. Trump. This is the geopolitical equivalent of 
saying, Yes, its fun to play hair-salon, but those clippers might give you 
or your doll a boo-boo.

Mr. Carney continued: Having met with the owners of Canada over the course 
of the campaign, over the last several months, its not for sale, it wont be 
for sale  ever. And before Mr. Trumps face could turn red, Mr. Carney 
redirected the conversation; he noted Canadas investment in strengthening 
its border security, its commitment to its partnership with the U. S. , and 
he ended with a little flattery: And Ill say this as well, that the 
President has revitalized international security, revitalized NATO and us 
playing our full weight in NATO. You made your doll look so pretty with all 
that marker on her face.

Beyond that, the 30-minute dialogue was mostly an exercise in the Prime 
Minister biting his tongue. Mr. Carney didnt correct Mr. Trump when he said 
that Canadians are paying a tariff on cars and steel and aluminum, though 
the economist in him was surely suffering a slow death behind his pursed 
lips. Mr. Carney looked at his lap when Mr. Trump referred to former 
finance minister Chrystia Freeland  whom he didnt directly name  as a 
terrible person, and offered only the slightest side nod when Mr. Trump 
turned to him and said, You know who Im talking about.

When Mr. Trump claimed that, We dont do much business with Canada.... They 
do a lot of business with us, the Prime Minister waited about eight minutes 
to deliver a gentle fact check, noting that Canada is the largest client of 
the United States in the totality of all the goods. And though Mr. Carneys 
body language suggested he wanted to speak up when Mr. Trump claimed that 
the U. S. is subsidizing Canada to the tune of maybe $200-billion a year, 
the President shut down the event before he had a chance to chime in.

Some might view Mr. Carneys restraint as a sign of weakness, but 
challenging Mr. Trumps every statement would have been a foolish, 
counterproductive thing to do. Indeed, it was much better for everyone that 
the Prime Minister picked his battles  interjecting when Mr. Trump said 
something harmful or dangerous, but letting the annoying stuff go. 
Otherwise, Canada might be dealing with an awful tantrum right about now.

Though expectations for this meeting were low, Mr. Carney performed just 
about as well as Canada couldve hoped for its new Prime Minister. He did 
exactly what he was elected to do, which is to act as the adult in what is 
really a very silly  but high-stakes  situation. Mr. Trump seemed pleased 
by the interaction, and quite taken by Mr. Carney personally. These are 
good signs for Canada, and good signs for our collective sanity. We just 
might make it through to the next dinnertime.