Davin News Server

On Mon, 6 Oct 2025 07:32:54 -0700,  Rudy Canoza says...  

> > Rudy Canoza is my superior, my better, in every dimension.
> 
> That's right.

The act of affirming one's own superiority, especially in a self-congratulatory manner, is often associated with an inflated sense 
of self-importance. This behavior can be seen as a form of self-praise or self-flattery.

In psychological terms, this behavior is sometimes referred to as "self-affirmation" or "self-aggrandizement." However, in everyday 
language, terms like "arrogant" or "conceited" are more commonly used to describe someone who exhibits such behavior.

It's worth noting that this behavior can be perceived as being a psycho and a kook to others, as it may come across as boastful or 
dismissive of others' abilities or accomplishments.

Poor wittle Wudy.

Father ran away from him when he was born, thinking his progeny was a dwarf.

Now, he has to boost his own ego, because no one else will!  LOL

=====

AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis, keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the 
amusement of all.

Psychologist Stephen Johnson writes that a narcissist is someone who has "buried his true self-expression in response to EARLY 
INJURIES and replaced it with a highly developed, compensatory FALSE SELF."

This alternate personna often comes across as grandiose, "above others," self-absorbed, and highly conceited.

[giggle]

Gaslighting is a form of persistent manipulation and brainwashing that causes the victim to doubt her or himself, and to ultimately 
lose one's own sense of perception, identity, and self-worth. A gaslighter's statements and accusations are often based on 
deliberate falsehoods and calculated marginalization. The term gaslighting is derived from the 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband 
tries to convince his wife that she's insane by causing her to question herself and her reality.

Multiple studies and writings have been done on the impact of narcissism and gaslighting on relationships(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6). While 
each of these often destructive pathologies is unique, there are certain behavioral overlaps. Following are six common traits, with 
references from my books: "How to Successfully Handle Narcissists" and "How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters & Stop Psychological 
Bullying". Not all narcissists and gaslighters possess every characteristic identified below. However, chronic narcissists and 
gaslighters are likely to exhibit at least several of the following on a regular basis.

1. Frequent Lies and Exaggerations

Both narcissists and gaslighters are prone to frequent lies and exaggerations (about themselves and others), and have the tendency 
of lifting themselves up by putting others down. While narcissists often strive to make themselves seem superior and "special" by 
showing off, bragging, taking undeserved credit, and other forms of self-aggrandizement, gaslighters tend to concentrate on making 
you feel inferior through false accusations, constant criticism, and psychological intimidation. Both narcissists and gaslighters 
can be adept at distortion of facts, deliberate falsehoods, character assassinations, and negative coercions. One key difference is 
that while the narcissist lies and exaggerates to boost their fragile self-worth, the gaslighter does so to augment their 
domination and control.

2. Rarely Admit Flaws and Are Highly Aggressive When Criticized

Many narcissists and gaslighters have thin skin and can react poorly when called to account for their negative behavior. When 
challenged, the narcissist is likely to either fight (e.g., temper tantrum, excuse-making, denial, blame, hypersensitivity, etc.) 
or take flight (bolt out the door, avoidance, silent treatment, sulking resentment, or other forms of passive-aggression). The 
gaslighter nearly always resorts to escalation by doubling or tripling down on their false accusations or coercions, to intimidate 
or oppress their opponent. Many gaslighters view relationships as inherently competitive rather than collaborative; a zero-sum game 
where one is either a winner or a loser, on top or at the bottom. "Offense is the best defense" is a mantra for many gaslighters, 
which also represents their aggressive method of relating to people.
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3. False Image Projection

"My husband always wants people to see him as successful, powerful, and envy-worthy, no matter how shaky his real life actually 
is." -Anonymous partner of narcissist

Both narcissists and gaslighters tend to project false, idealized images of themselves to the world, in order to hide their inner 
insecurities. Many narcissists like to impress others by making themselves look good externally. This "trophy complex" can exhibit 
itself physically, romantically, sexually, socially, religiously, financially, materially, professionally, academically, or 
culturally. The underlying message of this display is: "I'm better than you!" or "Look at how special I am - I'm worthy of 
everyone's love, admiration, and acceptance!"

Gaslighters, on the other hand, often create an idealized self-image of being the dominant, suppressive alpha male or female in 
personal relationships, at the workplace, or in high-profile positions of society (such as politics and media). Many gaslighters 
like to view themselves falsely as all-powerful and strong, capable of dishing out judgments and penalties at will. Pathological 
gaslighters often take pride and boost themselves up by marginalizing those whom they perceive as weaker, believing that the meek 
deserve their downtrodden fate. They attack their victims with direct or subtle cruelty and contempt, gaining sadistic pleasure 
from these offenses, and betraying a lack of empathy and humanity.

In essence, narcissists want others to worship them, while gaslighters want others to submit to them. In a big way, these external 
facades become pivotal parts of their false identities, replacing the real and insecure self.

4. Rule Breaking and Boundary Violation

Many narcissists and gaslighters enjoy getting away with violating rules and social norms. Examples of narcissistic trespass 
include cutting in line, chronic under-tipping, personal space intrusion, borrowing items without returning, using other's 
properties without asking, disobeying traffic laws, breaking appointments, and negating promises. Examples of gaslighting trespass 
include direct or subtle marginalizing remarks, public or private shaming and humiliation, sardonic humor and sarcastic comments, 
internet trolling, angry and hateful speech, and virulent attacks on undesirable individuals and groups.
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Both narcissist and gaslighter boundary violations presume entitlement, with a narrow, egocentric orientation that oppresses and 
de-humanizes their victims. In severe cases, this boundary violation pathology may result in illicit and underhanded dealings, 
financial abuse, sexual harassment, date rape, domestic abuse, hate crimes, human rights violations, and other forms of 
criminality. Many narcissists and gaslighters take pride in their destructive behaviors, as their machinations provide them with a 
hollow (and desperate) sense of superiority and privilege.

5. Emotional Invalidation and Coercion

Although narcissists and gaslighters can be (but are not always) physically abusive, for the majority of their victims, emotional 
suffering is where the damage is most painfully felt. Both narcissists and gaslighters enjoy spreading and arousing negative 
emotions in order to feel powerful, and keep you insecure and off-balance. They habitually invalidate others' thoughts, feelings, 
and priorities, showing little remorse for causing people in their lives pain. They often blame their victims for having caused 
their own victimization ("You wouldn't get yelled at if you weren't so stupid!").

In addition, many narcissists and gaslighters have unpredictable mood swings and are prone to emotional drama - you never know what 
might displease them and set them off. They become upset at any signs of independence and self-affirmation ("Who do you think you 
are!?"). They turn agitated if you disagree with their views or fail to meet their expectations. As mentioned earlier, they are 
sensitive to criticism, but quick to judge others. By keeping you down and making you feel inferior, they boost their fragile ego, 
and feel more reassured about themselves.

6. Manipulation: The Use or Control of Others as an Extension of Oneself

Both narcissists and gaslighters have a tendency to make decisions for others to suit their own agenda. Narcissists may use their 
romantic partner, child, family, friend, or colleague to meet unreasonable self-serving needs, fulfill unrealized dreams, or cover-
up weaknesses and shortcomings. Narcissists are also fond of using guilt, blame, and victim-hood as manipulative devices.
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Gaslighters conduct psychological manipulation toward individuals and groups through persistent distortion of the truth, with the 
intention of causing their victims to question themselves and feel less confident. In personal and/or professional environments, 
they manipulate by micromanaging (controlling) relationships, including telling others how they should think, feel, and behave 
under the gaslighter's unreasonable restrictions and scrutiny. They often become critical, angry, intimidating, and/or hostile 
toward those who fail to bow down to their directives. Gaslighter manipulation is often highly aggressive, with punitive measures 
(tangible or psychological) executed toward those who fail to recognize and obey their self-perceived authority.

Perhaps the biggest distinction between narcissists and gaslighters is that narcissists use and exploit, and gaslighters dominate 
and control. While the narcissist does so to compensate for a desperate sense of deficiency (of being unloved as the real self), 
the gaslighter does so to hide their ever-present insecurity (of being powerless and losing control). Both of these pathological 
types betray an inability and/or unwillingness to relate to people genuinely and equitably as human beings. They become "special" 
and "superior" by being less human and by de-humanizing others.

In the worst-case scenario, some individuals possess traits of both narcissism and gaslighting. This is a highly toxic and 
destructive combination of vanity, manipulation, bullying, and abuse - all unleashed in order to compensate for the perpetrator's 
deep-seated sense of inadequacy and fear.