Davin News Server

On Mon, 6 Oct 2025 07:32:54 -0700,  Rudy Canoza says...  

> > Rudy Canoza is my superior, my better, in every dimension.
> 
> That's right.

The act of affirming one's own superiority, especially in a self-congratulatory manner, is often associated with an inflated sense 
of self-importance. This behavior can be seen as a form of self-praise or self-flattery.

In psychological terms, this behavior is sometimes referred to as "self-affirmation" or "self-aggrandizement." However, in everyday 
language, terms like "arrogant" or "conceited" are more commonly used to describe someone who exhibits such behavior.

It's worth noting that this behavior can be perceived as being a psycho and a kook to others, as it may come across as boastful or 
dismissive of others' abilities or accomplishments.

Poor wittle Wudy.

Father ran away from him when he was born, thinking his progeny was a dwarf.

Now, he has to boost his own ego, because no one else will!  LOL

===== 

AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis, keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the 
amusement of all.

Rudy's, Dilemma: He Can Dish It Out, But Crawls Upstairs and Cries To Mommy When Someone Shows Him For What He Is... An UNdeserved 
Narcisist

"When Criticized, narcissists, like Rudy, Show Himself Woefully Incapable of Retaining Any Emotional Poise, Or Receptivity."

Sure, Rudy Thinks That Many Defenses Protect Him, But He's Only Fooling 
Himself... It's a Cry For Help 

The Basics: 

What Is Narcissism? 

Find A Therapist Who Understands Narcissism 

(Usenet is Rudy's therapist and therapy... you're welcome) 

Such a universal tendency is elevated almost to an art form with those 
afflicted, like Rudy, with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). 

When criticized, Rudy the narcissist, shows himself woefully incapable of 
retaining any emotional poise, or receptivity, and it really doesn't much 
matter whether the nature of that criticism is constructive or destructive. He 
just doesn't seem to be able to take criticism, period. 

(Rudy can't go to bed or sleep, if there's an article left dangling, that shows 
him to be the undeserved narcissist that he is, hence his replying to EVERY 
article, as if THAT shows me... LOL) 

At the same time, Rudy the disturbed individual, demonstrates an abnormally 
developed capacity to criticize others ("dish it out", so to speak to "him", 
even going as far as not even writing on the topic at hand). 

(giggle... PERFECT) 

Although Rudy the narcissist can't, or won't, show it, all perceived criticism 
feels gravely threatening to him - the reason that his inflamed, over-the-top 
reactions to it can leave us surprised and confused. 

(not really.. it IS Rudy, after all) 

Deep down, and clinging desperately not simply to a positive but grandiose 
sense of self, Rudy feels compelled at all costs to block out any negative 
feedback about himself, (hence the never-ending replies to ANY article about 
him.) 

Rudy's dilemma is that the rigidity of his defenses, his inability ever to let 
his guard down, guarantees that he'll never get what he most needs, which he 
himself is sadly oblivious of. 

To better grasp why narcissists, like Rudy, , like Rudy, are so ready to attack 
others and so unable to deal with being attacked himself, it's useful to 
understand something about his childhood. 

People aren't born narcissistic-it's powerful environmental influences that 
cause him to become so. 

(BINGO!) 

As a caveat, however, I should add that no single theory adequately accounts 
for every instance of NPD. The explanation I'll be offering, though seminal 
among those proposed, is still just one of several. But even though it's a bit 
oversimplified, I think it elucidates the essential dynamic of the narcissistic 
defense system better than any of the theoretical alternatives. 

Briefly, while growing up, future narcissists, like Rudy, had many reasons to doubt whether he was good enough.

Neglected and ignored, or constantly disparaged and berated by his parents, 
Rudy was held to unrealistically high standards of behavior. 

His caretakers were quick to judge him whenever he failed to live up to such 
unreasonable, perfectionist expectations. 

As a result, he couldn't help but feel defective, not okay, and insecure, 
doubting his fundamental worth as a human. 

In most instances, neither did he feel cared about or wanted-as though he were 
factory seconds, to be tolerated but not respected or loved. 

Anxiously experiencing his bond to his parents as tenuous, in his head, he 
cultivated an imaginary "ideal self" (taller and more well-hung... LOL) that 
could get the parental acceptance, even adulation, he craved. 

If narcissistic adults project an air of importance, superiority, entitlement, 
and grandiosity, it's a pronounced reaction, or OVER-reaction, to the massive 
self-doubt that he keep well-hidden beneath his self-satisfied facade he 
present to others. 

Rudy's marked lack of accurate empathy for the feelings, wants, and needs of 
others is all too well known. But what is less appreciated is that this 
deficiency represents an unfortunate consequence of his growing up so 
preoccupied with his own frustrated needs, and emotional distress generally, 
that he could never develop sufficient sensitivity to others. Intensely driven 
to succeed, or at least see himself as successful, his focus inevitably became 
myopic, pathologically self-centered. Others simply weren't in his line of 
(tunnel) vision. 

Without any clear recognition of what's motivating Rudy in his relationships 
as an adult, he continues to seek the encouragement, support, and acceptance 
denied him earlier. 

Yet, however unconsciously, at the same time, he's cultivated the strongest 
defenses against ever having to feel so excruciatingly vulnerable again. And so 
when Rudy criticized, or think Rudy being criticized, Rudy is compelled to 
react aggressively, in the frantic effort to avoid re-experiencing the terrible 
feelings of loneliness, abandonment, or rejection he suffered when he were 
younger. 

It's especially suggestive that two common terms in the psychoanalytic 
literature used to describe NPD are "narcissistic injury" and "narcissistic 
rage." The "injury" results from his parents' deficiencies in being able to 
adequately nurture him, and so make him feel loved, a prerequisite for 
self-love. 

This is why he needs to prove himself constantly, arrogantly claiming 
superiority over others that can make himself feel "good enough" to be loved. 

"My education surpasses yours by far, "Fix-it guy at Citco." You know this." 

"It's a neologism - a very good one at that. It describes when a highly 
literate person like me inadvertently - and *rarely* - uses the wrong 
word." 

But ironically, it serves in time only to alienate others. (duh) 

It's precisely this need to be viewed as perfect, superlative, or infallible 
that makes Rudy so hypersensitive to criticism. 

His typical reaction to criticism, disagreement, challenges can lead to the 
"narcissistic rage" that is another of his trademarks. 

"I'm probably wasting my time, because stupid, plodding, knuckle-dragging 
right-wingnuts are not amenable to instruction..." 

"Jane, you rancid mackerel-reeking cunt." 

To protect his delicate ego in the face of such intensely felt danger, Rudy's 
decidedly at risk for going ballistic against his perceived adversary. 

This indicates why his artificially bloated sense of self is so fragile. Given 
the enormity of his defenses, he regard himself not on a par with, but above, 
others. 

Yet Rudy's mortally threatened when anyone dares question his words or 
behavior. Ancient fears about not being accepted are never that far from the 
surface, which is why narcissists, like Rudy, must forever be on his guard with 
anyone who might disbelieve or doubt him. For any external expression of doubt 
can tap into his own self-doubts. 

And this is why, though he can certainly "dish it out", he just can't "take it" 
himself. Obviously, if the child self was unequivocally convinced about his 
basic acceptability-adequately integrated into his adult self-he wouldn't need 
to boast about his accomplishments, or vehemently debate anyone who took 
exception to his viewpoint. But narcissists, like Rudy, see his best defense 
as mandating a good offense. 

To sum up the above, when criticized, narcissists, like Rudy, can begin to 
experience anxiety or degradation. A certain shame at his non-family-bonded 
core may rise perilously close to consciousness. By way of safeguarding himself 
from such never-resolved feelings of worthlessness or defeat, Rudy's likely to 
react to present-day threats with contempt or defiance, or with verbal violence 
frequently referred to as narcissistic rage. 

Exquisitely susceptible to criticism because it endangers his frail sense of 
internal validation, he takes great pains to devalue or invalidate the person 
criticizing him. To achieve such a dismissal, he'll do everything possible to 
negate their viewpoint.

This can include much more than blaming or indignantly challenging him.
When Rudy's position has been exposed as false, arbitrary, or untenable,
he will suddenly become evasive, articulate half-truths, lie, flat-out
contradict himself and freely rewrite history (making things up as he go along).

This is why at such times, he doesn't seem like an adult, so much as a 6-year-old.

And in fact, when others inadvertently trigger mini emotional crises in him, there's
little doubt that, both cognitively and emotionally, he can regress. 

So what's the final cost of all of Rudy's efforts to ward off what 
constitutes for him the unbearable sting of criticism? As already suggested, 
it's immense. Though not consciously realized by him, his heart's deepest 
desire is to form an intimate bond with another that would successfully address 
the huge void left by his parents' denigration or neglect.

But because Rudy's so strongly motivated to avoid re-experiencing this keenly
felt hurt, his overpowering defenses prevent him from letting anyone get close
enough to assist him in recovering from his pain.

(poor mommy!)

A pain that he conceals quite as much from himself as others.