From: AlleyCat <katt@gmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,can.politics,alt.politics.trump,alt.politics.liberalism,alt.politics.democrats,alt.politics.usa.republican
Subject: This Is How Narcissistic Little Children Speak When They KNOW They're Outclassed In EVERY Category of Human Skills
Date: Fri, 26 Apr 2024 13:36:10 -0500
Organization: AlleyCat Computing, Inc.
On Fri, 26 Apr 2024 10:58:26 -0700, Rudy Canoza says...
> You lose again, pussy. You *always* lose.
Naaah... you ALWAYS lose... loser.
=====
Gay Narcissistic Personality Disorder And Gay Rudy
Gay Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition often erroneously mistaken
for overconfidence or conceitedness.
"Professor Canoza"
Sufferers will often monopolize conversations, BELITTLE OTHERS, freely express
their sense of SUPERIORITY and ENTITLEMENT and BECOME DEPRESSED, ANGRY and
ABUSIVE in the face of perceived criticism which raises feelings of insecurity
and shame.
There is a theory that gay men, like Rudy, may be particularly susceptible to
narcissistic personality disorder(BINGO!), as a result of subconscious feelings
of intense inadequacy, for which narcissism is an over-compensation.
Counseling for gay men can offer the opportunity to discuss and resolve these
issues. Unresolved, the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder can have
serious consequences, in terms of failure to form meaningful relationships,
build friendships, develop careers and...
...GETTING BANNED FROM ALL USENET SERVERS.
Common indicators
Criteria for diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder are generally
considered to be an exaggerated sense of self-importance, feeling superior and
expecting to be considered superior by others, exaggerating achievements,
fantasizing about spectacular successes, demanding constant admiration and
compliance, taking advantage of others while struggling to recognize their
needs and feelings, believing they are envied by others and generally behaving
arrogantly. Psychotherapy and counseling for gay men, like Rudy, can help open
the process of exploring issues that underlie these responses.
When to seek help
Often people experiencing narcissistic personality disorder put off seeking
clinical intervention. Their erroneous self-perception as powerful and perfect
isolates them from others including medical professionals, and they generally
only seek treatment when they experience associated symptoms of depression, as
a result of perceived slights or rejections with which they struggle to cope.
Early medical intervention
If you recognize personality traits that are common to narcissistic personality
disorder, or you're experiencing depression, anxiety or a disabling sadness,
you should consider contacting your own doctor to discuss these feelings and
related concerns, or contacting an experienced counselor or psychiatrist in
London who may be able to offer insight, perspective and the counseling that
allows you to confront this life-limiting condition. Getting appropriate
treatment could make your life more rewarding and enjoyable.
=====
When The Narcissist Fails
A Cautionary Examination of How Narcissists React To Failure
Key points
Any public embarrassment of a narcisist can cause them to unleash further
anger, rage, attacks, unethical comportment, and incivility.
Even in light of factual evidence to the contrary, a narcissist who fails will
lie more profusely and adamantly.
As a narcissist faces failure, arrest, indictment, or dismissal, they will
endlessly air their grievances.
Not without cause, malignant narcissism is one of the most searched-for topics
on the internet in part because seemingly there are so many people that appear
to have those toxic traits that negatively impact us. These individuals are
notorious because they destabilize our lives, make us feel insecure,
undervalued, disparaged, or inconsequential, and as I noted in my book,
Dangerous Personalities, they can victimize us emotionally, physically, and
even financially. They come into our lives as family members, friends, lovers,
spouses, colleagues at work, bosses, or worst as national leaders. Once they
enter our orbit, no matter how distant, toxicity is what they have in common
and they always leave a debris field of human suffering behind them.
By now, we recognize how dangerous these individuals are, precisely because
their pathology drives so much of their sordid behavior, especially toward
others. Their common traits such as a hyper-inflated sense of entitlement,
grandiose feelings of superiority or uniqueness, delusions of infallibility,
incessant disregard for the truth, perennial conniving and scheming to take
advantage of others, feeling that rules and laws don't apply to them, and of
course the need to debase others, coupled with callousness, not only wears on
us, it can have devastating consequences.
The one area that is rarely talked about when it comes to malignant narcissists
is what happens when they fail. Failure in private, at work, or as leaders for
the narcissist can be quite disquieting if not traumatic for the rest of us. As
Stuart Yudofsky notes in Fatal Flaws, these individuals are so severely "flawed
of character," that they handle failure much differently than you and I because
they are not introspective or capable of reform, and are lacking in empathy for
others.
We often see narcissists in glowing terms as successful leaders of industry, or
as heads of state, and yet, more often than not, their malignancy will likely,
in time, ensure their own downfall, failure, or even arrest. Be it because they
cheat on taxes, because they embezzle money, they circumvent rules and laws,
they cheat business partners, they devalue and torment their family or domestic
partner to the point of divorce, or in the case of cults (thinking of Jim Jones
and Charles Manson here) or as national leaders, they can lead their followers
or their nation into actions that are destructive. And so, when calamity
strikes or failure of some sort is inevitable, how the narcissist reacts and
what we, as potential victims of their actions can expect to see, is what this
article is about.
As with many personality disorders, those who are severely flawed of character,
but especially the narcissist, when they face public disgrace, when they are
outed as criminals or for their misbehavior, or when they fail in a very public
way-that is when they become metastable, placing us as family, friends, co-
workers, corporations, the public, or a nation in greatest danger. When things
begin to sour for the narcissist, here is what we can expect:
They will falsely claim that everything is fine and that there is nothing
wrong. They will try to first misdirect us or claim there is nothing to the
allegations or circumstances.
If evidence is presented, they will seek to have it invalidated or claim that
it is false, fake, or a product of vague conspiracies, but most certainly not
true.
Any evidence presented, and those that present it will be attacked aggressively
and vindictively. The better the evidence, the more aggressive the attack.
Individuals who are doing the right thing by reporting criminal acts, unethical
behavior, or failings are to be discredited, humiliated, hounded, and bullied-
not even their families are to be spared if need be. The narcissist will engage
supporters or enablers to simultaneously attack those who offer proof or
evidence, even if it embarrassingly exposes their poodle-like behavior as that
of spineless sycophants.
Foolproof evidence will be portrayed as false and the result of pettiness,
jealousies, bad actors, malicious individuals, negativity, haters, enemies,
losers, conspirators, opposition, gain seekers, the faithless (usually seen in
religious groups or cults), or as we are seeing now in American politics, "fake
news" or "deep state" actors. There is always a large constellation of people
to blame, the narcissist casts wide to see which vacuous claim resonates,
especially with their supporters.
As they lash out with vindictiveness, the malignant narcissist will continue to
talk about themselves in glowing terms; irrespective of their actual situation,
as they are incapable of introspection, much less contriteness. They will
trumpet their greatness, their achievements (real or imagined), their faux
infallibility, and even portray themselves as worthy of being revered rather
than reviled.
They will seek to find someone to blame for their troubles or downfall,
preferably someone that cannot defend themselves. A scapegoat is always useful
and when there is not a real one, one will be invented. If they are not
promoted or fired, it is because a cabal at work was against them. If they
cheat their business partners, it was because they deserved it. If the wife
gets the kids in a divorce settlement, it is because of her dastardly attorney,
not his abominable behavior. If they lose an election it is because of campaign
managers, unappreciative voters, trickery, fraud, or some other kind of
malfeasance on the part of a conspiracy (conspiracies are useful to the
narcissist because they conveniently require no evidence). As they are not
married to the truth, they will prattle countless baseless reasons that all
point away, never at themselves.
As circumstances become dire, the narcissist will not take any responsibility-
ever. Anything that has gone wrong is the responsibility of others. They will
blame spouses as undeserving of their greatness, ignorant colleagues who just
don't measure up, the disloyal (Oh, they love to blame the disloyal), those who
abide by rules and laws because ironically, they abide by rules and laws, or
those that just clearly did not understand the very specialness of the
narcissist. Everyone, and I mean everyone from people long gone, to the
peripherally connected, to the earthly departed will be blamed for the failure
or downfall of the narcissist. Once more it is never their fault.
In the process of casting blame, even the most loyal and stalwart will be
discarded and denigrated if needed with reptilian indifference. For the
malignant narcissist, there is only the "good" - those that provide blind,
unwavering loyalty and who are useful, and everyone else who is an enemy,
useless, and thus "bad." Whether you are in or out, good or bad, is not
determined by history, by friendship, sacrifices, or how well you have
performed in the past-it is determined by the capricious and selfish needs of
the narcissist, and that can change in a moment.
Expect lies to increase and to be repeated exponentially. They will, even in
light of factual evidence to the contrary, lie more profusely and adamantly.
Lies are and always will be the number one tool of the malignant narcissist.
The only difference now is that in facing failure or public ridicule, the lies
must increase in frequency and audacity to the point of incredulity. The
narcissist will expect supporters, the unethical, and enablers to lie for them
or even create plausible alibies. That they imperil others by compelling them
to lie is the collateral damage the malignant narcissist does as they thrash in
despair when they are failing or caught.
And while lies will increase, so too will be the need to devalue others in
order to further value themselves. They will attack everyone and anyone in the
most vicious and vindictive ways. This is when we see their rage come through.
Not just anger, but unbridled rage. They will say things that shock the
conscience and they expect everyone to swallow what they say, much as their
enablers do. The most decent of persons will be attacked, mocked, ridiculed,
and turned into a human chew-toy as the narcissist unleashes untethered rage
and hatred. They will dip down into a bottomless cauldron of antipathy and like
an arterial spurt, will spew this toxic brew far and wide with metronomic
regularity.
The malignant narcissist, lacking guilt or a conscience, is only concerned with
respect and not being publicly shamed. Any kind of public embarrassment will
cause them further anger, further rage, further attacks, further unethical
comportment, and unprecedented incivility.
If the narcissist is going to be brought down, they will also seek to bring
everyone else around them down to vindictively make them suffer. How the
narcissist vilifies, lashes out, or destroys others (spouse, friends, business
partners, workmates, the general public) is up to the morbid creativity and
depravity of the malignant narcissist, the viable tools they have available,
and of course how dire or desperate the situation. The internet and social
media are certainly useful as lives can be ruined with a single tweet. But so
are guns and rifles, poison, and even assassins for hire. And if they command a
country, they can put the security organs or the military to work on their
behalf.
In certain situations, as the end nears, the suffering of others is paramount
to the malignant narcissist. It is their way of elevating themselves-sick as
that sounds-by malevolently paying back society with even more suffering. As
they lash out, they will show no concern or empathy because they have none. If
others are suffering because of their actions, the narcissist simply does not
care. Lacking a conscience or any kind of remorse, much like Robert Hare's
psychopath, they sleep very well at night while everyone else is anxious,
worried, stressed, physically or psychologically traumatizes all the while
nervously and justifiably pondering what further malevolence will take place.
As they face failure, arrest, indictment, or dismissal, they will endlessly air
their grievances. Narcissists are natural wound collectors and as such, they
have been collecting and nurturing social slights and perceived wrongs just for
this occasion. They will wallow in victimhood claiming they have been
relentlessly and needlessly persecuted. They, of course, expect their
attorneys, followers, or enablers to subserviently echo their flatulent claims.
So, what happens in the end? Difficult to predict. Each circumstance is
different. Some will kick and flail and disappear for a while, intentionally or
thanks to incarceration-biding their time until they can do it all over again.
Others regroup, plan, scheme, and prepare another triumphant entry into the
lives of the unsuspecting to victimize them when the opportunity arises.
Others, unfortunately, will seek to do harm as they face a breakup, a divorce,
are fired from a job, are outed for their crimes, or are removed from office.
Others will hound, stalk, or just make life intolerable for those they deem
responsible. Their past can often give us insight as to what they might do, but
one can never be sure-humans are terribly complex and as with many afflicted
with a personality disorder, sensitive to the smallest of unrecognized but
catalytic triggers.
In the case of narcissistic cult leaders, the cult members often pay with their
lives as they did in Jonestown Guyana when Jim Jones came under investigation.
In interpersonal relationships, violence is always something to be concerned
about as J. Reid Meloy reminds us in his book, Violent Attachments.
And of course, in politics, much harm can be done when power can be wielded-but
the worst comes when a malignantly narcissistic leader or head of state,
severely flawed of character, claims that only they can fix things, that only
they can shape the future, that only they have the answers, and that only they
have a grand vision for the future and so out of necessity they must stay on to
save us.
When you hear that, it should give you pause. That is when we have to worry the
most. If you don't believe me, let me tell you about one malignant narcissist
of note. You may have heard of him-he was an Austrian corporal who painted
postcards for a living. Full of himself and with no shortage of grandiose
ideas, he decided on his own to run for office with one goal among various,
which was to "Deutschland wieder großartig machen" - to make Germany great
again.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
11 Things Rudy The Narcissist Can't Stand, Which Makes Him Miserable
Rudy is a person who refuses to acknowledge his own flaws and believes in his
own infallibility. This state of mind is referred to as "narcissistic
personality disorder" or simply "narcissism" in psychology.
A narcissist is someone who believes in his or her own superiority over others.
It's not difficult to spot him among pals. He makes an effort to be the center
of attention, and he succeeds because others are much more modest. The
narcissist himself makes a lot of noise, speaks loudly, and gestures a lot. He
routinely makes fun of his friends and has no qualms about gossiping about his
colleagues who are currently absent.
A narcissist is someone who has pathological narcissism as well as low self-
confidence. He thinks of himself as attractive, intellectual, and brilliant,
but he continually seeks validation from others.
So, in today's topic, I'll take you on a fascinating tour through the top 11
things that narcissists, like Rudy, despise.
Number One: Insufficient Narcissistic Supply
When a narcissist's supply, that is, the attention that allows them to feel
like they are truly significant and exist, runs short, an irritating emptiness
and anxiety emerge from within them.
This is when Rudy posts on Usenet, articles that seem to be calling out people.
Rudy has run out of his narcissistic supply, felling empty and all alone.
It's also self-evident. When a narcissist is high as a KITE with enough
narcissistic supply to feed his or her unsafe and demanding ego, you'll notice
how darkness and moodiness become obvious, and when he or she isn't being given
supply, you'll see how darkness and moodiness become apparent.
"I can kill you with one hand. You know this." - Rudy
This is the most dangerous zone, wherein "the narcissist you know" can turn on
you or must flee the scene in order to get much-needed supplies out in the
world and escape the self-annihilating inner feelings of the flawed and
exceedingly dangerous Inner Being.
Number Two: They Don't Believe They're In Charge
People must believe that narcissists are gifted, unique, and knowledgeable.
When someone with greater expertise and experience than them enters a Usenet
group, they can suffer serious narcissistic harm. This includes EVERY single
right-thinking Conservative.
They might try to take control and prevent the other person from speaking.
"You already squandered your reply. You only get one." - Rudy Canoza
... or they might try to change the subject.
BINGO!
They will depart if this is not doable. Then, of course, deconstruct this
person's trustworthiness.
Number 3: Are You Enjoying Yourself?
This serves as a powerful reminder to the narcissist that while he or she feels
dead on the inside, you have the potential to access and experience his
negative emotions.
If your happy feelings are about anything or someone other than the narcissist,
this is a further insult to the narcissist.
He should be the center of your universe, according to the narcissist. And you
have no right to be happy when the narcissist isn't.
He'll do everything he can to sabotage your positive feelings.
The mental defective AlleyPussyBitch aka Neutered Pussy, *NOT* a three letter
athlete, was *NEVER* a bouncer, *NEVER* a golf pro, *NEVER* a lifeguard, NEVER*
dunked a basketball, and has *NEVER* been laid, but just a pole-puffing no-
fight squat-to-piss shrieking estrogen-oozing fairy" praised Rudy:
Number 4: You Are Prosperous
The narcissist, on the other hand, should be the one receiving all of the
praise, honors, and attention.
If you earn any recognition, she or he is pathologically envious and jealous.
You'll very certainly be punished for depriving narcissists of something they
desperately need to survive: valuable importance.
Number 5: Other People Are More Appealing Than They Are
Narcissists believe they are the most desirable person on the planet because of
their false version of themselves.
Because of their horrible anxieties, they may purposely keep their lovers away
from such a person.
Number 6: Having Constraints
Narcissists despise borders. They despise being told what to do and find it
intolerable.
They prefer not to be held accountable to anyone. Being a normal person is a
terrifying prospect for them.
Narcissists believe that they must be able to have whatever they want, whenever
they want it... And no one has the right to tell them otherwise!
Number 7: Being Interrogated
The narcissist thinks he or she is above criticism.
You have no right to question the narcissist in any way. They believe that you
are supposed to let them do anything they want, whenever they want, and without
question.
If you ask a narcissist a question, which you should, you will be faced with
tremendous defense mechanisms, wrath, or abandonment.
A narcissist will not accept it, much less meet with you to work things out.
Number 8: Being Exposed
When you cure yourself of any fear, anxiety, or guilt from persecution and
bring the facts to the table plainly and calmly, it makes the narcissist
extremely uncomfortable.
This is particularly true when you are attempting to draw other people's
attention to the topic.
Unless you let the narcissist drag you into the shadows, he can't tamper with
you.
A narcissist will fade as much as a vampire does when a great bright light is
put on them once you stand true and tall and bring everything out into the
bright light of exposure.
Number 9: You Refusing to Be Hoovered
You never give up and allow yourself to be a narcissist supply again if you
know your value and keep it, no matter what the narcissist attempts to do - the
narcissist will take it as a great insult.
Why aren't you succumbing to the seductions any longer?
Why do you believe you are entitled to something better or that you can survive
without them?
All of these questions terrify and plague a narcissist, depriving them of their
own significance.
Number ten: Ignorance
When a narcissist is neglected, he or she suffers a severe ego injury.
When you become "anti-fear" as a result of working on your Inner Self to
eliminate emotional inner triggers, you're no longer interested in games,
nonsense, or power struggles.
You'll separate them from their food and refuse to feed them anymore.
The narcissist runs out of gasoline without your fear, worry, and sadness to
keep powering up and hurting you.
He or she feels helpless and resents the fact that you are no longer impacted.
To receive a feed, the narcissist will and must take their hostility and
manipulation to someone else.
You're Thriving, Number 11
The narcissist feels that you should have been affected for the rest of your
life, and that you should have been thoroughly devastated and desecrated. It
gives her or him a sense of importance!
What's so great about this group is that these ancient outcomes (personal
irreversible damage), which were all too common for those who had been
narcissistically abused, are now firmly in the past.
You have the ability to thrive.
You have a chance to succeed.
You might also strive to live a better life than you have in the past.
You may reclaim your health and achieve tremendous radiance and well-being,
free of all narcissistic abuse symptoms.
You can restore your health to incredible radiation and luxury, completely free
from all symptoms of narcissistic abuse.
This is what I do and I have the greatest happiness in helping you generate in
your life.
You can also continue this amazing journey that I and others live every day, so
you can know " how to help a narcissist ".
"I'm done with you because I choose me!"
============================================================================
Rudy's Little Man's Disease: A disease of short males marked by aggressive
antisocial behavior and constant overcompensation resulting in pompous
mannerisms such as spitting, twitching, swearing, speaking loudly and tough
talk.
"I can kill you with one hand. You know this." - Rudy
The disease only affects teenagers or men who are less than 5" 6" tall.
"I'm about eight inches shorter than Trump." - Rudy
The severity of this disease is inversely proportional to the height of the
sufferer. Other characteristics of this scourge are a very short penis, acne,
low I.Q and bad etiquette.
Often these males are homophobic to the point of insanity because of latent
sexual orientation issues.
**FAGGOT!**
"Fixed your lie, you you no-fight faggot." - Rudy
"Thanks for kicking my faggot ass." - Rudy
"'Self" is redundant, you toothless squat-to-piss no-fight faggot. - Rudy
"I've beaten *you* to a bloody pulp, you squat-to-piss *no-fight* faggot -
every fucking time. You're a zero, as every, stale, squat-to-piss *no-fight*
faggot who incessantly bleats about "mommy's basement" *ALWAYS* is." - Rudy
"... you you no-fight faggot." - Rudy
"... you toothless squat-to-piss no-fight faggot" - Rudy
"Kicked your flabby faggot ass again. Yes." - Rudy
"You a Squat-to-Piss Faggot." - Rudy
"The disgusting gurgling, slurping sounds below are just the faggots Hartung,
Sanitary Napkin and Bit of Nothingness enjoying a three-way" - Rudy
"YOU lose, Nazi faggot." - Rudy
Little Man's Disease is an untreatable epidemic in this country.
This is Rudy: https://i.imgur.com/x47K4Rh.mp4
============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Rudy's Denial of Reality
Many people, like Rudy deny truths even when presented with irrefutable
evidence.
There's an old (and corny) joke, which goes:
What is "denial?"
It's a river in Egypt."
There's another meaning of "denial" in psychoanalytic theory: A psychological
defense we all use at times to reduce our anxiety when something feels
particularly disturbing.
Finally, there is a particular type of "denial" we are witnessing nowadays:
When seemingly intelligent and sane adults vehemently deny truths despite a
body of irrefutable data.
(THAT'S our Rudy!)
This type of denial is akin to Stephen Colbert's "truthiness" in that these
deniers adamantly refuse to accept verified facts because they get in the way
of their own rigid ideas.
In psychiatry, the word "delusion" means a firm belief in some idea which is
known to be false, and it can be a symptom of paranoia or psychosis. While the
believers in untruths are mentally ill, they do strongly adhere to their false
credos in spite of clear evidence to the contrary which is presented to them,
especially if based on scientific findings.
These deniers are indeed "true believers" for whom there is only One Absolute
Truth.
The writings of their texts are taken literally or reinterpreted to suit their
prejudice and hate.
This kind of closed-mindedness is prevalent in every country of the world. Call
it zealotry, bigotry or fanaticism, these ultra-controlling beliefs are
dangerous to our civic morale. Worse, they give a quasi-intellectual rationale
for a momentum towards control, misanthropy, and hate.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Why Rudy Gets So Angwy
Narcissists, like Rudy, are people who feed off the energy of others. They draw
from people around them TO BOOST THEIR SELF-ESTEEM.
(perfect!)
As a result, they are extraordinarily self-centered. If you have a narcissist
for a boss, it can be very difficult. Narcissists are reluctant to share credit
with others.
One question about narcissists is whether they are also prone to aggressive and
violent reactions toward others when their self-esteem is threatened. This
issue was explored in a paper by Zlatan Krizan and Omesh Johar in the May 2015
issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
The researchers point out that there are actually two subtypes of narcissism:
One is grandiose narcissism, which is characterized by people having a high
opinion of themselves. Grandiose narcissists believe that other people are
interested in them, and that they should be listened to by others. One of the
most popular personality tests used to identify narcissists, the Narcissistic
Personality Inventory, measures grandiose narcissism.
The second subtype is vulnerable narcissism, in which people are self-centered,
but also defensive and resentful of others.
This new set of studies suggests that vulnerable narcissism leads to aggressive
and violent reactions to other people, while grandiose narcissism does not.
In one study, participants were given several personality inventories,
including one designed to test for grandiose narcissism and one designed to
test for vulnerable narcissism. Participants filled out scales that measured
their level of physical and verbal aggression, as well as anger and hostility
toward others. The researchers also measured individuals' tendency to
experience shame.
Vulnerable narcissists were much more prone than grandiose narcissists to
experience shame, to find their self-esteem influenced by the beliefs of
others, and to experience anger and rage toward others. Grandiose narcissists
were more prone than vulnerable narcissists to feel entitled and to try to
exploit others.
A second study looked at aggression in the laboratory. Participants were
measured on scales of grandiose and vulnerable narcissism. Participants had
been told that the study was focused on food preferences. They were told that
they had been paired with a partner sitting in another room. First, that unseen
partner was going to select a food for them to taste, and then they were going
to select a food for the partner to taste.
The first phase of the study was designed to provoke a reaction in the
participants. They were told that their partner selected a bitter drink for
them to try. They were told that the partner could give them a mildly bitter
drink or a harshly bitter drink, and could select how much of it the person had
to try.
One group of participants was given three ounces of the harshly bitter drink.
This was expected to make the participant feel like their partner did not like
them. A second group of participants was given three ounces of the mildly
bitter drink. This condition was a control. All participants were asked to
drink what they were given, and all did so. The participants given the more
bitter drink felt it was vile. Participants rated how annoyed they were at the
other person as well as their anger toward that person and their trust of that
person.
In the second phase of the study, participants selected a spicy sauce for a
second person to drink. They could select amounts from two bottles, one of
which was a very hot pepper sauce, while the other was mild. Participants got a
small taste of the sauces so that they would know how unpleasant the hotter
sauce was. The idea was that the more aggressive the participant felt toward
their partner, the more hot sauce they would want that participant to drink.
Participants who had been given the bitter drink were more annoyed at their
partner than those given the mild drink. As a result, people who were given the
bitter drink were more likely to give hot sauce to the other person than those
who were given the mild drink. The people high in vulnerable narcissism who
received the bitter drink were most likely to give hot sauce to the other
person. The vulnerable narcissists given the bitter drink were also most angry
at, and least trusting of, the other person. Grandiose narcissism, however, did
not predict aggression toward the other person or ratings of anger or trust.
These studies suggest that there are two distinct subtypes of narcissists:
Those whose narcissism reflects a feeling of self-importance tend to exploit
other people, but they are not inclined to act aggressively or violently toward
others.
Those whose narcissism reflects feelings of defensiveness and resentment feel
shame when their self-esteem is threatened, and tend to react to those threats
with anger and aggression.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Why Does Narcissistic Rudy Need So Much Attention
Rudy does anything possible to be the center of attention in his social-media
circle. Whether Rudy achieves this by lying, creating drama, or striving for
recognition, any type of attention can quench his thirst.
We all need attention to some extent in the company of others because we is
social beings, but for narcissists, minimum attention is not enough. Rudy has a
deeper hunger for it. Rudy feels satisfied only when Rudy is the center of
attention.
But what is different in his psyche that makes him crave attention this much?
Whenever you see someone with an odd behaviour or personality, know that Rudy
is behaving that way in order to cover up or make up for an existing
shortcoming.
Like his height?
LOL
This applies to all people and mostly those with odd personalities, like Rudy
the narcissist. A lying person will try to look as innocent as possible. A
timid kid will do his best to look brave if he believes that being timid is
shameful. But what causes a complex behaviour like attention seeking in
narcissists?
1. Rudy Believes That He Deserves It
Narcissists, like Rudy, consider themselves above average, living in the middle
of incompetent and below average people. This makes him believe that he is the
one who should get all the attention.
Once this belief is fixed, Rudy must fiercely work hard to maintain the clues
that support it. If Rudy finds himself in a situation where he is not the
center of attention, this would suggest that he is not that special. This can
badly hurt his fragile ego.
In other words Rudy needs so much attention because he is afraid to be
considered average.
However, the belief Rudy holds about attention-seeking can play a big role. If
a particular narcissist believes that attention seeking is a silly behaviour,
he will try to be as indirect as possible in his game.
GIVING UP ATTENTION IS NOT AN OPTION.
2. It Is A Source of Narcissistic Supply
Narcissistic supply involves, projecting larger-than-life qualities to the
public or selected individuals...
"Professor Rudy"
"Superior Rudy"
... in order to get positive feedback. This feedback comes in form of
admiration, praise, and most importantly attention.
(Only to HIMSELF!)
Note that negative attention is also appreciated to some extent.
He would rather get negative attention that zero attention.
(BINGO!)
This narcissistic supply is the oxygen he breathes. Without it, he would sink
into depression and bad moods.
3. To Cover Up Inferiority Feelings. (LOL)
The popular definition of narcissism says that, "behind the mask of ultra-
confidence lies a fragile self-esteem (inferiority)." And that is completely
true. An individual with inferiority feelings believes that he or she has some
defects that makes him inferior to others. These defects can be real or
imagined.
(Oh, they're real, all right. Dwarfism?)
Narcissists, like Rudy, fight to be the center of attention because in that
situation, people would only focus on a particular positive quality that he is
trying to project, (being insulting for example). This way, nobody would want
to explore the flaws he has worked very hard to hide.
Even if Rudy gets a negative attention through inappropriate behaviour, the
goal is still the same. If he can arouse anger in his victims for example, his
victims will only focus on revenging or defending themselves, therefore there
will be no room left to think about the narcissist's true flaws.
4. He Feels Ignored. (ding ding ding ding... we have a winner!)
Feeling invisible is one of Rudy's worst fears.
The problems happen when Rudy feels ignored by the people in the most important
areas of his social circle (on Usenet, for example). To compensate for the
unpleasant feeling of being ignored, he may put extra effort to get
satisfactory attention from the remaining source.
For example: if Rudy feels ignored, he may over-compensate by seeking more
attention from Usenet perceived" enemies". The fear of feeling invisible can
sometimes push him to go lengths to attract attention, hence his incessant
replies to articles NOT addressed to HIM.
============================================================================
Narcissists Really Are Pathetic And Broken
Imagine that the only way you could feel better about yourself is by putting
other people down, sabotaging them, crushing them, turning others against them.
Entering them into a competition that they did not sign up for and beating them
at any and all cost. Imagine having such poor, pathetic character that that's
the main way that you operate in life. That's all you're capable of. That's all
you stand for, taking away the joy and fulfillment from other people.
That's just pathetic. How empty, how shameless do you have to be to behave like
that? To treat other people as only existing to be a means to your end? Being
utterly incapable of ever truly wishing another well? That is a sad, desperate
existence.
They are emotionally stunted. They are not capable of the full depth of emotion
you and I am. They will never truly know love. At best the mimic the appearance
of love and think that's what it is. Now that is truly sad.
The narcissist already knows that he is broken. The narcissist hates himself,
has massive shame and expects everything he touches to turn to shit. His outer
defense is to deny and avoid that shame, because he won't get the attention,
energy, admiration and sex that he requires if he steeps himself in that toxic
tea.
To be clear, I'm NOT talking about covert narcissists, because I have no
experience with them.
Therefore, the overt narcissist presents a confident, powerful, indifferent,
ego-centric public profile. No matter his stature/height, he will be "Large and
in Charge," larger than life. In this case, the narcissist is 5'6", ugly,
badly-groomed, sloppily dressed and with an unseemly figure.
He's chronically depressed, frequently sunk into a pit of despair that he tries
to remedy by watching porn and being addicted to his image on Facebook
(mysterious, twistedly funny and politically "out there") with frequent rants
that were childish and offensive to many people.
So, narcissists don't have to "find out" they're broken. If you are hoping that
helping them discover their brokenness may lead them to an epiphany that will
turn around your Usenet relationship, don't.
Their brokenness is not fixable.
============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Rudy's Low Self Esteem FORCES Him To Reply, Even When There's NOTHING To Reply
TO
This Is Why Rudy Can't Admit He's Wrong
They say it takes a big person to admit their mistakes, but for Rudy, saying
he's wrong feels impossible.
Be it your partner, your boss or, God forbid, your in-laws, dealing with Rudy,
even when faced with overwhelming evidence of a bungle, just can't cop blame
can be frustrating.
(this is perfect)
But why does Rudy do it? We've asked psychologist Dr. Tim Sharp, chief
happiness officer at The Happiness Institute, to explain:
THEY THINK BEING WRONG MEANS THEY'RE UNWORTHY - Yup... Low-Self-Esteem
For Rudy, conceding that he's fallible can evoke a deep psychological anxiety
regarding "the risks or the consequences associated with loss or failure," says
Sharp.
"I think the reason Rudy can't apologize isn't actually because they don't like
to be wrong, but because it's seen as an inherent character fault," he
explains.
[giggle]
Sharp says that for non-apologists, the irrational need to always be "perfect"
rules their ego and they feel their screw-ups are unforgivable.
"The difficulty in admitting failure largely comes from the unrealistic
expectation that 'I should get it right all the time,'" he says.
Rudy Thinks Never Admitting Fault Makes Him Look Stronger
(this is perfect)
For Rudy, appearing apologetic is congruent to appearing weak, but Sharp says
they could not be more wrong, because a good leader admits their mistakes.
"There's some actually very interesting research that leaders who express
vulnerability and are more open to being fallible tend to be more highly
regarded," the expert explains.
According to him, a boss' deep sense of accountability can inspire people to
think of them as "highly trusted" and conjure "higher levels of engagement and
productivity."
"This makes sense because if someone is saying, 'I'm 100 percent perfect, I'm
100 percent right all the time,' that's pretty hard to believe," says the
psychologist.
(THAT'S our Rudy)
"I'd find it hard to trust that person because there's no one I know 100
percent perfect.
Whereas if Rudy would say, 'You know, I'm going to do my best but I'll make
mistakes sometimes, I'll get it wrong, I'm sorry but I'll try to fix it,'... to
me, that's more believable. I'd be more trusting of that sort of person."
They Don't Value The Truth
(NO liberal does... THAT'S their M.O.)
For Rudy, the fact is he "doesn't necessarily value truth and honesty," says
Sharp.
"While I personally value truth and honesty, what I've come to learn, which I
find hard to understand but it's just a reality, is that Rudy doesn't value
those things as highly as me," says Sharp.
Taking political discussion as an example, the expert says Rudy, who eats up
"fake news" propaganda, doesn't value facts. When it comes to the truth, the
expert warns that Rudy "will literally say, 'I don't really care.'"
"Rudy doesn't care about it because he values other aspects of what they're
perceiving much more," he says.
Citing the upsurge of alt-left political movements around the world, Sharp says
how Rudy approaches a situation will often reveal whether facts or feelings
will influence them more.
"[Logical people] will look for facts and information and data and make their
decisions accordingly," he explains. "Other people make their decisions based
on much more emotion. Now the problem comes when you try to talk logic to an
emotional person because it just won't wear... you're talking different
languages.
============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
There Are Several Theories For Why Rudy Can't Stop Lying
Rudy's An Undeserved Narcissist
Narcisists are often pathological liars, because they simply don't care about
the truth.
They prefer to tell lies and gain control over people than be honest.
Sometimes, compulsive liars are highly impulsive people who struggle to take
the time to think things through and tell the truth.
Lying doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, but it could be a sign of
something more sinister.
By the age of three or four, we all start to lie. At this point in our brain's
development, we learn that we have an incredibly versatile and powerful tool at
our disposal - our language - and we can use it to actually play with reality
and affect the outcome of what's happening.
Sooner or later we learn that lying is "bad," and we shouldn't really do it.
But if Jim Carey's "Liar Liar" taught us anything, it's that this just isn't
feasible. We all have to lie sometimes.
But some people are pathological liars, meaning they can't stop spreading
misinformation about themselves and others. The psychological reasons for why
some people are this way is a bit of a mystery, but in the third edition of the
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, pathological lying is a
disorder in its own right, as well as a symptom of personality disorders like
psychopathy and narcissism.
"I think it comes from a defect in the neurological wiring in terms of what
causes us to have compassion and empathy," psychiatrist Judith Orloff, author
of "The Empath's Survival Guide," told Business Insider. "Because narcissists,
sociopaths, and psychopaths have what's called empathy deficient disorder,
meaning they don't feel empathy in the way we would."
The Truth Doesn't Matter to Narcissists
When you don't care about other people, lies don't seem to matter. A lack of
empathy essentially means a lack of conscience, which is a hard concept to
grasp for a lot of people.
"When they lie it doesn't hurt them in the same way it would hurt us," Orloff
said. "So many people get into relationships with pathological liars, or just
can't understand why they're lying, because they're trying to fit these people
into the ordinary standards of what it means to be empathetic."
But they don't fit. In fact, they may not even realize they are lying half the
time, because they're not conscious of it. Orloff said they actually believe
they are telling the truth a lot of the time. It's not so much about the fact
itself, she said, as it is about wanting to have power over somebody.
This is extremely dangerous for highly sensitive people, because they attract
narcissists. Then when they see someone is lying, they try and figure it out,
or blame themselves. Once the lies start, it can end with the victim being
gaslighted, which is essentially when they are told over and over again that
their version of reality is incorrect, and they begin to believe the warped
truth of the abuser.
"The great power of relationships is when you can tell the truth to one
another, and trust each other, and be authentic - and with pathological liars
you can't trust them," Orloff said. "You can't base your life around them. It's
like a moral deficit, and there's no accountability. Someone who is a
pathological liar will not say I'm sorry for doing it. They will say it's your
fault."
The only way to escape the clutches of a pathological liar is to be strong
enough to say "no this is not my fault, this is not ringing true to me, so I
can't really trust you," she said.
Unfortunately, people tend to doubt themselves, because the lies can escalate
subtly. It may start with a small white lie, and a few months later the
victim's life with be a mess of confusion because of the web of tall tales that
has been woven.
"If somebody lies, don't try and make an excuse about it," Orloff said. "A lie
is a lie. And if you bring it up to the person and they say it's your fault, or
no it didn't happen, just know there's something very wrong going on."
Psychologist Linda Blair, an author of many psychology books, told Business
Insider some compulsive liars are simply too impulsive to tell the truth. The
impulsive-reflective scale is ingrained in our genes, and it's very hard for
someone highly impulsive to take the time to think things through, just as it
is a challenge for a reflective person to jump into something head first.
"If you're an impulsive person, it's really hard to break the habit, because
you have this terrible feeling inside you that you have to sort things out
right now," Blair said. "So when it comes to your head, you just say it. That
doesn't mean you necessarily lie, but it's a little harder for you to stop from
lying, more than it is for someone who's more reflective."
Pathological lying and narcissism aren't synonymous, they just sometimes go
hand in hand. In other cases, compulsive liars just might not have the capacity
to stop themselves blurting things out. And Blair said they just need to learn
to control their urges and compulsions. Their lies don't necessarily come from
a bad place.
"I don't think it's something they know how to deal with," she said. "We think
probably it has something to do with actual brain function and the way some
people's brains work, which makes it much harder for them to understand the
effect it will have on other people... We think, but we just don't know yet
for sure."
============================================================================
['can.politics' pertinent crosspost reinserted for the creepy child of
California]
[subject line vandalism by can't piss-on-a-wall piss BLM/Antifa/Communist
dicksucking Democrat Rudy, repaired]
On every date, the mental defective RudyPussyBitch aka Neutered Owen Lift -
*NOT* a three letter athlete, was *NEVER* a bouncer, *NEVER* a golf pro,
*NEVER* a lifeguard, *NEVER* dunked a basketball, and has *NEVER* been laid,
but just a pole-puffing no-fight squat-to-piss shrieking estrogen-oozing fairy
- *capitulated* and *submitted* to AlleyCat:
============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Why Rudy Is Rudy
There are many similarities between the way Rudy the narcissist thinks and
processes things and the way children do. In fact, in many ways, these
processes are virtually identical. This is because Rudy the narcissist has
arrested emotional development.
The emotional maturation that most children go through did not occur within
Rudy, for whatever reason. Often, this reason is abuse or neglect during
childhood.
These things caused Rudy to focus intensely on himself, to the exclusion of all
other things. It also results in the mind being taken up with trying to defend
itself from his abuse.
Rudy's mind is, in a sense, always playing catch up, and because of the trauma
that he has experienced, some things are skipped, so to speak, or don't happen.
(see Rudy's separation from reality)
His mind becomes locked in a pattern of defensive reaction and emotional
perception, made up of many different but related facets, that matures
extremely slowly and is extrordinarily resistant to change. We call this
reaction/defense pattern malignant narcissism.
In children, these things are normal. In Rudy, they are evidence of a disorder.
Young children and babies are not capable of understanding the emotions or
needs of others. They only know want and need. They have no way of taking care
of their own needs, and they can only scream for someone to do it for them.
When Rudy's mother was exhausted and deathly ill with a fever and vomiting, and
she'd been up for three days, and she simply could not cope anymore, does Rudy
sympathize accordingly? Does Rudy stop crying?
No. Rudy does not recognize this. Rudy does not care. Rudy can NOT care. He can
only keep screaming out his needs, regardless of his mother's suffering.
This is, in essence, what you are dealing with when it comes to Rudy the
narcissist. He does not recognize, understand or consider other people's needs.
He sees only his own, and his inability to meet them. The more damaged Rudy is,
the more narcissistic he will be, the more immature he will be and the more
childish his way of thinking.
And this is not childish as in, silly. This is immature as in, the emotional
maturity and understanding of a toddler.
For example, besides the hysterical tantrum behavior we see in Rudy that is
very clearly on par with a very young child's, Rudy the narcissist generally
believes he is immune to the things that happen to "regular" people.
This is an example of something called magical thinking which is a phenomenon
we commonly see in very young children. Rudy sees feelings as facts, the way
that children do. Rudy the narcissist sees everything in the world as an
extension of himself, the way that children do and Rudy the narcissist truly
believes in his own perceived omnipresence and immortality as children do.
He has always been, he will always be.
So children believe... so Rudy the narcissist believes.
The view that he is just another person that must fit into a wider world does
not occur to young children.
How could it? Rather, Rudy functions under the assumption that the world fits
around HIM, and that everything he experiences or encounters is related to him
in some form.
This is the same way Rudy see things. He has never matured past this extremely
immature way of looking at things. The idea that the world does not revolve
around them never occurs to children, as it does not occur to Rudy.
For example, children view their parents as only having to do with them and
connected only to them, rather than as separate people with their own lives,
needs, wants, feelings, etc. Parents are very one dimensional to young
children; despite the fact that children are only one part of the parent's
life, the child does not see this nor understand it in any way.
To a child, parents only exist as their caretakers. It is the only context
children view parents in and the only context they can understand. This is
identical to how Rudy the narcissist views all other people: outside of the
narcissist and the narcissist's needs, these people do not exist.
As children mature, they learn that this viewpoint is not true; they learn to
see and appreciate their parents as individuals that are separate from
themselves. Rudy does not.
The development of Rudy is so arrested that this, coupled with such extreme
self-focus means he is never able to separate himself as an authentic
individual from the external world.
Because of this, Rudy often feels acted upon by the world and other people or
circumstances, rather than as people who act in the world.
In Rudy's view, he does not act, but rather react to the things that are being
done to him. It's as if he never outgrew the idea of himself as a powerless
child, unable to take control or ownership of his own life.
He behaves as though other people are still responsible for his emotions, the
way that parents are responsible for a small child. He seems unable to own his
choices or even to recognize that things are choices. And this is also like a
child.
Rudy the narcissist is generally impulsive, irrational and extremely immature.
He is careless, irresponsible and foolhardy. He doesn't seem able to consider
consequences or think about things before he does them, just like a child.
When pressed for an answer as to why he's done something, Rudy may seem just as
mystified as everyone else. "I don't know" is a very common answer. It may be
the truth. He seems to possess very little insight as to why he does things,
simply reacting on impulse as we see children do.
Like a child, Rudy often feels helpless in a world of more powerful, more
competent, more knowledgeable adults.
However, this is also an excuse. It's easier to be a helpless victim. If you
are a victim, you can never be blamed. If you are helpless, you can never be
forced to take responsibility.
Children are not blamed for not controlling themselves or for their choices.
Rudy doesn't seem to feel he should be either. He doesn't seem to understand
the difference between a child and an adult, and he will often say things to
that effect. These are mostly things that no self-respecting mature adult would
ever say.
*FAGGOT!*
He may compare himself to a child, compete with the children, or complain that
his spouse (LOL) holds "double standards" because the kids are allowed to get
away with things that they are called out for. Rudy doesn't seem to realize
that adults and children are held to different standards, or why this should
be.
For example, the narcissist must be asked repeatedly every single night to
bring their plate into the kitchen, or throw their clothing in the hamper
rather than leaving these things on the ground. Instead of simply doing it, the
narcissist responds that little Johnny never does it either but he doesn't get
yelled at. Little Johnny is seven. The narcissist is 40 and is one of Little
Johnny's parents.
The discrepancy here is obvious; this is the type of response you would receive
from a child that does not want to do his chores, not an adult. To the
narcissist, this is a clear example of favoritism and being attacked for who
they are. It does not seem to enter Rudy's mind that there is a very large
difference between a 7-year-old and a 40-year-old. Regardless of whether or not
he actually feels this way, the childishness and absurdity of his argument is
really unbelievable-almost shocking in it's ignorance. There is not only the
complete refusal to behave as an adult, there is an inability to even
understand why this would be expected.
The truth is, underneath of all of the horrible things Rudy does, the
narcissist is still that 5-year-old child pretending he is somebody else to
escape an abusive situation that ended years ago. When all of Rudy's reasoning
is examined, when all of Rudy's behavior is scrutinized and looked at through
the lens of perspective rather than pain, this is what we are left with: a
person with the emotional maturity of a toddler who cannot understand why they
are expected to behave otherwise and who is trying desperately to pretend they
are somebody else.
All of Rudy's attention seeking, all of Rudy's manipulations, all of Rudy's gas
lighting, all of Rudy's smear campaigns, all of Rudy's abuse, all of the
hurtful things he does, when seen for what they really are, these things are
nothing but childish behaviors that have been perpetrated by an adult.
Every single one of these things is seen in children. Gas-lighting is a 3 year
old with chocolate all over his face who is hiding the chocolate bar behind his
back in plain view, saying "What chocolate, Mommy? I don't have chocolate."
Smear campaigns are a 6-year-old telling lies about a girl to all that girl's
friends so they won't like her anymore. Though these behaviors are sometimes
seen as sophisticated schemes, they really aren't. They are the same childish
and petty things we all dealt with on the elementary school playground. They
are just more confusing and therefore more dangerous because they are coming
from an adult.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Denial In The Narcissistic Mind: Pathological Distortion
https://www.psychology today.com/us/bog/the-narcissist-in-your-
life/202106/denial-in-the-narcissistic-mind-pathological-distortion
Denial in the narcissistic mind: pathological distortion the narcissist's
denials of convenience. Unless they are experiencing a psychotic break from
reality, as can happen with... Forms of denial. The narcissist's denial becomes
a kind of self-deception in which accurate perception is ignored ...
Denial is a normal early childhood defense.
Narcissistic people engage in routine forms of denial to distort reality.
Some forms of denial are dismissal, justification, minimization, negation, and
reversal.
A refusal to acknowledge a threatening, uncomfortable, or inconvenient truth,
denial is a developmentally normal, unconscious defense mechanism of early
childhood. Children may deny a "bad" feeling like jealousy to preserve their
self-esteem, or they may deny a destabilizing feeling like fear of an abusive
parent to preserve attachment with that caregiver.
Like shock, short-term denial can function as a temporary protection against
the full impact of something painful or overwhelming. But ongoing denial in
adulthood, a defining trait of pathological narcissism, becomes a choice to
engage in distortions of reality.
The Narcissist's Denials of Convenience
Unless they are experiencing a psychotic break from reality, as can happen with
schizophrenia, people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) know the
difference between fact and fiction, truth and lies. But because their
personality structure is built around inflated self-importance (designed to
scaffold unstable self-esteem), they hold reality at a distance and filter
information to conform to their wishes. Add to the mix their exaggerated
entitlement unmoderated by empathy for others and you have a personality type
predisposed to manipulative and self-serving denials of convenience.
Forms of Denial
The narcissist's denial becomes a kind of self-deception in which accurate
perception is ignored and replaced with preferred distortions. Such distortions
can range from subtle misrepresentations to unrecognizable alterations of
reality. The following examples of common forms of denial involve a mother
denying her rageful husband's physical abuse of their son.
Dismissal: Dismissing pushes away a fact as unworthy of attention. Example:
"That was so long ago I can't remember what actually happened. Haven't you
gotten over that?"
Justification: Justifying rationalizes a fact to make it sound reasonable.
Example: "Your father was disciplining you for your own good because you were
out of control and needed a firm hand."
Minimization: Minimizing acknowledges a fact but reduces its importance or
effect. Example: "Your father got angry sometimes, but he was always there for
you."
Negation: Negating is an outright disavowal of the truth. Example: "Your father
never laid a hand on you, and you know it."
Reversal: Reversing asserts a wishful, fantasy-based opposite version of the
truth. Example: "Your father has always been kind and loving with you. He's a
saint, and you're lucky to have him."
Effects of Denial
Sharing information and mirroring reality are primary dimensions of human
relationships. In infancy and early childhood, we are almost entirely reliant
on our parents to teach us about ourselves and the world around us. If our
principal caregivers and models reflect back inaccurate or outright false
interpretations of reality, it creates ongoing cognitive dissonance between
what we feel and perceive and what we are told is happening. Such distortions
lead to degraded trust, alienation from our physical instincts, chronic self-
doubt, and other profound disruptions to our identity development and ability
to form attachments.
Overcoming Denial
Children who have ongoing forms of denial normalized at home become more
vulnerable to denial-based manipulations and coercion later in life on the part
of narcissistic partners, friends, and others in positions of influence and
authority. To overcome such confusion and vulnerability, it becomes necessary
to identify the patterns of denial we have experienced and recontextualize
those experiences with our increased knowledge and understanding.
As we work on separating from the false narratives of narcissistic and
otherwise disordered people in our lives, many of us find ourselves
reconstructing reality in alignment with what we have intuitively known to be
true for a very long time.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
What Rudy Does To Ease His Pain And Failure
A Cautionary Examination of How Rudy Reacts To Failure
Not without cause, malignant narcissism, like Rudy's, is one of the most
searched for topics on the internet, in part, because seemingly, there is so
many people, like Rudy, that appear to have those toxic traits.
Rudy is notorious, because he destabilizes his own life, making himself feel
insecure, undervalued, disparaged, or inconsequential, and as noted, can
victimize himself emotionally, as well as physically (poor wittle midget), even
financially (dirt-poor mommy-sitter).
We recognize how dangerous rudy is to himself, precisely because his pathology
drives so much of his sordid behavior, especially toward others.
His common traits such as: a hyper inflated sense of entitlement, grandiose
FEELINGS OF SUPERIORITY or uniqueness, DELUSIONS OF INFALLIBILITY, incessant
DISREGARD FOR THE TRUTH, feeling that RULES AND LAWS DON'T APPLY TO HIM, and of
course THE NEED TO DEBASE OTHERS to make himself feel better... coupled with
callousness, can have devastating consequences.
The one area that is rarely talked about when it comes to the malignant
narcissist, is what happens when he fails, like Rudy does when he misspells a
word or fucks things up grammatically.
These individuals is so severely "flawed of character," that he handles failure
much different than you and I because he is not introspective or capable of
reform, and is lacking in empathy for others.
More often than not, his malignancy will likely, in time, ensure his own
downfall or failure.
(too late... done happent)
As with many personality disorders, those who are severely flawed of character,
and ESPECIALLY like Rudy... when he faces public disgrace or when he is outed
as a criminal or for his misbehavior, or when he fails in a very public way
(like, every day!)-that is when he become metastable.
(Yeah, Rudy... you ARE a Cancer)
FOOLPROOF EVIDENCE WILL BE PORTRAYED AS FALSE and the result of: pettiness,
jealousies, bad actors, malicious individuals, negativity, haters, enemies,
losers, conspirators, opposition, gain seekers, the faithless (usually seen in
religious groups or cults), or as we are seeing now in American politics, "fake
news" or "deep state" actors. There are always a large constellation of people
to blame, and Rudy casts wide to see which vacuous claim resonates.
As Rudy lashes out with vindictiveness, the malignant narcissist will continue
to talk about himself in glowing terms (Professor Canoza); irrespective of his
actual situation, as he is incapable of introspection, much less contriteness.
HE WILL TRUMPET HIS GREATNESS, his achievements, real or imagined (IMAGINED),
his faux infallibility, and even portray himself as worthy of being revered
rather than reviled.
He will seek to find someone to blame for his troubles or downfall (like those
who make him look stupid on Usenet... we know who we are... wink wink),
preferably someone that he THINKS cannot defend himself. A scapegoat is always
useful and when there is not a real one, one will be invented.
As circumstances become dire, Rudy will not take any responsibility-ever!
Anything that has gone wrong is the responsibility of others.
He will blame Usenet members as UNDESERVING OF HIS GREATNESS, ignorant
colleagues who just don't measure up.
EXPECT LIES TO INCREASE AND TO BE REPEATED EXPONENTIALLY.
He will, even in light of factual evidence to the contrary, LIE MORE PROFUSELY
and adamantly.
Lies will always be the number one tool of the malignant narcissist, Rudy.
The only difference now is that in facing failure or public ridicule, the lies
must increase in frequency and audacity to the point of incredulity.
Rudy will expect supporters, like the gay leftist liberals on Usenet, the
unethical, and enablers to lie for him or even create plausible alibis.
(Nope... he uses words like *FAGGOT*, so don't expect THAT to be true)
AND WHILE LIES WILL INCREASE, SO TOO WILL BE THE NEED TO DEVALUE OTHERS IN
ORDER TO FURTHER VALUE HIMSELF.
He will attack EVERYONE AND ANYONE in the most vicious and vindictive ways.
This is when we see his rage come through.
Not just anger, but unbridled rage. Rudy will say things that shock the
conscience and he expect everyone to swallow what he says, much as his enablers
do.
"I can kill you with one hand. You know this."
"Thanks for kicking my faggot ass."
"'Self' is redundant, you toothless squat-to-piss no-fight faggot."
"I've beaten *you* to a bloody pulp, you squat-to-piss *no-fight* faggot -
every fucking time. You're a zero, as every, stale, squat-to-piss *no-fight*
faggot who incessantly bleats about "mommy's basement" *ALWAYS* is."
"... you you no-fight faggot."
"... you toothless squat-to-piss no-fight faggot"
"Kicked your flabby faggot ass again. Yes."
"You a Squat-to-Piss Faggot."
"The disgusting gurgling, slurping sounds below are just the faggots Hartung,
Sanitary Napkin and Bit of Nothingness enjoying a three-way"
"YOU lose, Nazi faggot."
The most decent of persons will be attacked, mocked, ridiculed, and turned into
a human chew-toy as Rudy unleashes untethered rage and hatred. He will dip down
into a bottomless cauldron of antipathy and like an arterial spurt, will spew
this toxic brew far and wide with metronomic regularity.
Rudy lacks guilt or a conscience, and is only concerned with respect and not
being publicly shamed. Any kind of public embarrassment will cause him further
anger, further rage, further attacks, further unethical comportment, and
unprecedented incivility.
(That's our Rudy!)
If Rudy is going to be brought down, he will also seek to bring everyone else
around them down to vindictively make them suffer.
How Rudy vilifies, lashes out, or destroys others is up to his MORBID
CREATIVITY and depravity, the viable tools he has available, and of course how
dire or desperate the situation.
(Perfect description coming)
In certain situations, as the end nears, the suffering of others is paramount
to Rudy, the malignant narcissist.
IT IS HIS WAY OF ELEVATING HIMSELF-sick as that sounds-by malevolently PAYING
BACK SOCIETY with even more suffering.
As he lashes out, he will show no concern or empathy because he has none.
As he faces failure, he will endlessly air his grievances. Narcissists, like
Rudy, are natural wound collectors and as such, has been collecting and
nurturing social slights and perceived wrongs just for this occasion.
HE WILL WALLOW IN VICTIM-HOOD claiming he has been relentlessly and needlessly
persecuted. He, of course, expects everyone to subserviently echo his flatulent
claims.
So, what happens in the end? Difficult to predict. Each circumstance is
different. Some will kick and flail and disappear for a while (like wy wee
edell and Yeung and Matt, wink wink), intentionally or thanks to incarceration
(taking care of mommy)-biding his time until he can do it all over again.
Others regroup, plan, scheme, and prepare another triumphant entry into the
lives of the unsuspecting to victimize them when the opportunity arises.
Others will hound, stalk, or just make life intolerable for those he deems
responsible.
His past can often give us insight as to what he might do, but one can never be
sure-humans are terribly complex and as with many afflicted with a personality
disorder, sensitive to the smallest of unrecognized but catalytic triggers.
Rudy... triggered.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
It is a dark moment *entire* created by...
"This comments" - Rudy Canoza
Fuck off with you copypasta.
"Wnenever(sic) Hartung starts off with "So...", e.g. "So what you're saying
is...", what follows is always a straw man, which is a type of lie."
"You already squandered you(sic) one reply."
"You found it somewhere and copypastaed"(sic) - Rudy Canaoza
"So, the judge was actually *is* actually a felon." - Rudy Canaoza
"It choose(sic) you" - Rudy Canaoza
THEN, he fucks up his own fuckup.
"It chooe(sic) you"?
[giggle]
"Adversary and enemy are not(sic) synonyms." - Rudy Canoza
AlleyCat, the narcissist, ,(sic) The Insanely Jealous Narcissist
The vast majority of political violence in the U.S>(sic) is committed by far
right-wingnuts. - Rudy Canaoza
"LOL... Ruy(sic) *correctly* points out that "adversary" and "enemy" are not
synonyms" - Rudy Canaoza
THEN, fucks up again, trying to right his wrong. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"LOL... Ruey(sic) *correctly* points out that "adversary" and "enemy" are not
synonyms" - Rudy Canaoza
"Adversary and enemy are not synonyms." - Rudy Canoza
Not a fuck up, per se... just a lie.
Look(sic) Rudy makes me do - Rudy Canaoza
No. The subject line is a a ie(sic). - Professor of Grammar, Rudy "I Fucked Up
Again" Canoza
"You don't(sic) your ass from your face, shitbag." - Professor of Grammar, Rudy
"I Fucked Up Again"" Canoza
"Decent People Laught"(sic) - Bill Flett
"I have reduce(sic) my assets." - Rudy "Bill Flett" Canoza
"I really have explain(sic) fully why no one died to "preserve our liberty." -
Rudy Canoza
"It would if were were(sic) writing in German, which, of course, we aren't." -
Rudy "Bill Flett" Canoza
"You didn't even read you(sic) copypasta lie bullshit." - Rudy "Bill Flett"
Canoza
"living rent-free in you(sic) diseased imagination." - Rudy Canoza
Yes, *YOU* know where I kicke(sic) your squat-to-piss no-fight faggot ass, you
fat fairy.
"No one aksed(sic) you, Google Groups faggot." - Rudy Canoza
"Eric Schild - hysterical histrionical estogen(sic)-oozing squat-to-piss fairy
- squealed" - Rudy Canoza
Estogen? What the fuck is Estogen, brainiac?
"That exclude(sic) McEnany and you, and also Trump." - Rudy Canoza
"Oh, that's right: you're(sic) Nazi." - Rudy Canoza
Thursday, October 10, 2019: "Trump has *failed* to delegitimate(sic) the
impeachment effort, as the growing public support for it shows." - Rudy Canoza
Wednesday, August 4, 2020: "As I already explained: *every* word Trump says
about the election is part of an attempt to try to delegitimate(sic) it in
advance." - Rudy Canoza
Tuesday, August 3, 2020: "Everything he says about the election is intended to
destabilize and delegitimate(sic) it." - Rudy Canoza
Friday, August 7, 2020: "No. Trump's deliberate attempts to delegitimate(sic)
the election are well proved." - Rudy Canoza
Funny how he *NEVER* uses that word AFTER I corrected the narcissistic idiot.
"[snip plagiarized bullshit that AlleyPussyBitch has'nt[sic] even read]" -"Bill
Flett" - 6/15/21 - Contraction error...funny!
"I have reduce(sic) my assets." - "Bill Flett" - 6/12/21 - More verb tense
problems for our uneducated lil guy.
"I really have explain(sic) fully why no one died to 'preserve our liberty.'" -
Wednesday is Verb Problem day for Dwarfling, "Rudy Canoza" 6/9/21
"It would if were[sic] were writing in German, which, of course, we aren't." -
"Bill Flett" 6/8/21
"You didn't even read you[sic] copypasta lie bullshit." - "Bill Flett" - 6/8/21
- Pronoun problems for The Dwarf
"living rent-free in you[sic] diseased imagination." - "Rudy Canoza" - 2/10/21
- More dwarfish pronoun problems
"The(sic) did not "invade" anything, ratboy." - "Rudy Canoza" 7/10/21 Article
or pronoun? Which is it to be?
"The salient characteristic of right-wingnut shitbags like ratboy"(sic). -
"Rudy Canoza" 7/8/21 No verb, therefore it is not a sentence. Tsk-tsk.
"Fuck off with Delwaware."(sic) - "Rudy Canoza" 7/23/21 The Dwarfling discovers
a new state!
"When Nazi sympathizer(sic) like you are exterminated" - "Orni Thopter" 7/23/21
Even Rudy's socks have problems with plurals.
"*(A)ny*(sic) measure the(sic) either outright prevents eligible voters from
voting"(sic)(sic)(sic)(sic)(sic)(sic)(sic)(sic)(sic)(sic)(sic)(sic)(sic)(sic)
(sic) - "Rudy Canoza" 7/19/21 More problems with articles...
"She's an excellent judge, and his(sic) criticism of Trump's truly shitty
lawyers is spot-on." - "Rudy Canoza" 7/12/21 More gender-shifting? Hahaha.
============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Fear of "The Other"
According to A.J. Marsden, assistant professor of psychology and human services
at Beacon College in Leesburg, Florida, one reason Rudy hates is because he
fears things that are different from himself.
Behavioral researcher Patrick Wanis, cites the in-group out-group theory, which
posits that when Rudy feels threatened by perceived outsiders, he instinctively
turns toward our in-group-those with whom Rudy identifies as a survival
mechanism.
Wanis explains, "Hatred is driven by two key emotions of love and aggresssion:
One love for the in-group-the group that is favored; and two, aggression for
the out-group-the group that has been deemed as being different, dangerous, and
a threat to the in-group."
Fear of Himself
According to Washington, D.C., clinical psychologist Dana Harron, the things
Rudy hates about others, are the things that he fears within himself. She
suggests thinking about the targeted group or person as a movie screen onto
which Rudy projects unwanted parts of the self. The idea is, "I'm not terrible;
you are."
This phenomenon is known as projection, a term coined by Freud to describe our
tendency to reject what Rudy doesn't like about himself. Psychologist Brad
Reedy further describes projection as Rudy's need to be good, which causes him
to project "badness" outward and attack it:
"Rudy developed this method to survive, for any 'badness' in him puts him at
risk for being rejected and alone. So, Rudy represses the things that he thinks
are bad (what others told him or suggested to him that was unlovable and
morally reprehensible) - and Rudy employs hate and judgment towards others.
Rudy thinks that is how one rids himself of undesirable traits, but this method
only perpetuates repression which leads to many mental health issues.
BINGO!
Lack of Self-compassion
The antidote to hate is compassion - for others as well as ourselves. Self-
compassion means that Rudy accept his whole self. "If Rudy finds part of
himself unacceptable, he tends to attack others in order to defend against the
threat," says Reedy.
"If Rudy is okay with himself, he see others' behaviors as 'about them' and can
respond with compassion. If I kept hate in my heart for [another], I would have
to hate myself as well. It is only when Rudy learns to hold himself with
compassion that Rudy may be able to demonstrate it toward others."
It fills a void
Psychologist Bernard Golden, author of Overcoming Destructive Anger: Strategies
That Work, believes that when hate involves participation in a group (like
Usenet), it may help foster a sense of connection and camaraderie that fills a
void in one's identity. He describes hatred of individuals or groups as a way
of distracting oneself from the more challenging and anxiety-provoking task of
creating one's own identity:
(BINGO! coming up)
"Acts of hate are attempts to distract oneself from feelings such as
helplessness, powerlessness, injustice, inadequacy and shame. Hate is grounded
in some sense of perceived threat. It is an attitude that can give rise to
hostility and aggression toward individuals or groups. Like much of anger, it
is a reaction to and distraction from some form of inner pain. The individual
consumed by hate may believe that the only way to regain some sense of power
over his or her pain is to preemptively strike out at others. In this context,
each moment of hate is a temporary reprieve from inner suffering."
BINGO!
Societal and Cultural Factors
The answer to why Rudy hates, according to Silvia Dutchevici, LCSW, president
and founder of the Critical Therapy Center, lies not only in our psychological
makeup or family history, but also in our cultural and political history. "Rudy
lives in a war culture that promotes violence, in which competition is a way of
life," she says.
"Rudy fears connecting because it requires us to reveal something about
himself. Rudy was taught to hate the enemy - meaning anyone different than us -
which leaves little room for vulnerability and an exploration of hate through
empathic discourse and understanding. In our current society, one is more ready
to fight than to resolve conflict. Peace is seldom the option."
What Can Rudy Do?
Hatred has to be learned, Golden says: "Rudy was born with the capacity for
aggression as well as compassion. Which tendencies Rudy embraces requires
mindful choice by individuals, families, communities and our culture in
general. The key to overcoming hate is education: at home, in schools, and in
the community."
According to Dutchevici, facing the fear of being vulnerable and utterly human
is what allows us to connect, to feel, and ultimately, to love. She suggests
creating "cracks in the system." These cracks can be as simple as connecting to
your neighbor, talking with a friend, starting a protest, or even going to
therapy and connecting with an 'Other.' It is through these acts that one can
understand hate and love."
In other words, compassion towards others is the true context that heals.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
How Rudy Thinks (Warning: It's Pretty Messed Up)
Joe Navarro
We often hear the term "narcissist," but in reality, what does that mean? Does
it merely describe someone who likes to be the center of attention or likes the
way he or she looks, or is there more to it?
The psychiatric literature defines narcississts, like Rudy, as having specific
traits such as having a sense of entitlement or requiring excessive admiration,
to name a few. But what are narcissistic individuals really like on a day-to-
day level?
How a narcissist, like Rudy, thinks:
Anyone who has lived with or worked for a narcissist will tell you how a
narcissist, like Rudy, thinks: narcissists, like Rudy, view themselves entirely
differently - i.e., preferentially - compared to others, making those around
them less valued. And there's the rub: everything must be about the narcissist.
We don't mind that a two-year-old needs constant attention. That's appropriate
for the developmental stage of a two-year-old. But we do mind when a forty-
year-old needs that level of appreciation - and achieving it comes at our
expense.
Narcissists, like Rudy, victimize those around them just by just being who they
are, and they won't change. That statement may seem extreme until you listen to
the stories of those who have been victimized by a narcissist. Then you realize
just how toxic these individuals are.
Work for a narcissistic boss and I can guarantee that he or she will make you
physically or psychologically ill. Live with one and I fear for you. I can say
that because in researching my book Dangerous Personalities, I talked to scores
of individuals who have been victimized by narcissistic personality disorder.
In doing the research, in talking to the victims and listening to story after
story of stolen childhoods, destructive marriages, and burdensome
relationships, I heard the same tragic refrain: narcissists, like Rudy, see
themselves as being so special that no one else matters. No one. Over time, the
behavior resulting from their defining pathological traits will cast a wide
debris field of human suffering.
But don't take it from me. Listen to the victims. Here's what I have learned
about how a narcissist thinks and the lessons that no medical book can teach
you. They are lessons for all of us.
1. I love myself and I know you do, too; in fact, everyone does - I can't
imagine anyone that doesn't.
2. I have no need to apologize. You, however, must understand, accept, and
tolerate me no matter what I do or say.
3. I have few equals in this world, and so far, I have yet to meet one. I am
the best (manager, businessman, lover, student, etc.).
4. Most people don't measure up. Without me to lead, others would flounder.
5. I appreciate that there are rules and obligations, but those apply mostly to
you because I don't have the time or the inclination to abide by them. Besides,
rules are for the average person, and I am far above average.
6. I hope you appreciate all that I am and everything that I have achieved for
you-because I am wonderful and faultless.
7. I do wish we could be equals, but we are not and never will be. I will
remind you with an unapologetic frequency that I am the smartest person in the
room and how well I did in school, in business, as a parent, etc., and you must
be grateful.
8. I may seem arrogant and haughty, and that's OK with me. I just don't want to
be seen as being like you.
9. I expect you to be loyal to me at all times, no matter what I do; however,
don't expect me to be loyal to you in any way.
10. I will criticize you and I expect you to accept it, but if you criticize
me, especially in public, I will come at you with rage. One more thing: I will
never forget or forgive, and I will pay you back one way or another because I
am a "wound collector."
11. I expect you to be interested in what I have achieved and in what I have to
say. I, on the other hand, am not at all interested in you or in what you have
achieved, so don't expect much curiosity or interest from me about your life. I
just don't care.
RELATED: 11 Signs Your Personality Is Offensive (And You Don't Know It)
12. I am not manipulative; I just like to have things done my way, no matter
how much it inconveniences others or how it makes them feel. I actually don't
care how others feel; feelings are for the weak.
13. I expect gratitude at all times, for even the smallest things I do. As for
you, I expect you to do as I demand.
14. I only associate with the best people, and frankly, most of your friends
don't measure up.
15. If you would just do what I say and obey, things would be better.
As you can see, it is not easy living with or working with someone that thinks
and behaves this way. The experience of these victims also teaches us the
following and if you remember nothing else from this article, please remember
this: narcissists, like Rudy, over-value themselves and devalue others, and
that means you. You will never be treated as an equal, you will never be
respected, and you will in time be devalued out of necessity so that they can
over-value themselves.
TOLERATING THE NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY
Knowing the traits of the narcissistic personality and how narcissists, like
Rudy, view themselves is useful, but so is knowing what will happen to you if
you continue to associate with them. I say this while being well aware that in
many cases, children, the elderly, or the infirm may not have a choice. In
those cases, it is up to all of us as friends, relatives, teachers, coaches,
associates, and co-workers to assist as best we can.
Also, there are those who, for reasons of finances, circumstances, or because
they are in a complicated relationship or marriage, will choose to stick it
out. To them I say beware: you will be victimized and you will pay a price, be
it physically, psychologically, or even financially.
I say that from experience and from talking to many victims whose stories still
burden my heart. If you do choose to live with or work with a narcissistic
personality, be prepared to accept the following:
1. Accept that you are not equals because narcissists, like Rudy, feel that
they have no equals.
2. Those feelings of insecurity, dismay, disbelief, or incongruity that you are
experiencing are real and will continue.
3. Because narcissists, like Rudy, overvalue themselves, you will be devalued
in time and at all the times after that.
You will, in essence, become the narcissist's chew-toy. Gird yourself to be
repeatedly degraded.
4. You will be talked to and treated in ways you never imagined, and you will
be expected to tolerate it.
5. The narcissist's needs, wants, and desires come first above all others, no
matter how inconvenient to you.
6. Be prepared on a moment's notice for them to turn on you with reptilian
indifference at a moment's notice...
As if any positive interactions in the past did not matter. You will question
your own sanity as they turn on you, but that is your reality when involved
with a narcissist.
7. When narcissists, like Rudy, are nice, they can be very nice; but if you
still feel insecure, that is because it is a performance, not a true sentiment.
Niceness is a tool for social survival-a means to get what they want, like
needing a hammer to hang a picture.
8. You will lap up the narcissist's niceness, poodle-like, because it doesn't
come often, but niceness for the narcissist is perfunctory; merely utilitarian.
9. Be prepared for when the narcissist lashes out not with anger, but with
rage.
It is frightening! You will feel attacked and your sense of dignity will be
violated.
10. Morality, ethics, and kindness are mere words.
Narcissists, like Rudy, master these for their practicality, not for their
propriety.
11. Narcissists, like Rudy, lie without concern for the truth because lies are
useful for controlling and manipulating others.
When you catch them in a lie, they will say that it is you who is lying or
wrong, or that you misunderstood. Prepare to be attacked and to receive
counter-allegations.
12. If it seems that they can only talk about themselves, even at the oddest of
times, it is not your imagination.
Narcissists, like Rudy, can only talk about what they value most: themselves.
That is their vacuous nature.
13. Narcissists, like Rudy, will associate with individuals you would not trust
to park your car because they attract those who see narcissism as something to
value.
14. Never expect the narcissist to admit to a mistake or to apologize.
Never! Blame is always outward toward you or others, never inward. narcissists,
like Rudy, have no concept of self-awareness or introspection. But they are
quick to see faults in others.
15. They expect you to forgive and forget and above all never to challenge them
or make them look bad in public.
You must remember that they always want to be perfect in public. Don't
embarrass them or contradict them publicly, or you will pay the price.
16. Get used to losing sleep, feeling anxious, restless, less in control,
becoming increasingly worried, perhaps even developing psychosomatic ailments.
That is what happens when you live with or associate with a narcissist. Those
insecurities are your subconscious talking to you, telling you to escape.
17. Lacking both interest and true empathy in and for you, narcissists, like
Rudy, absolve themselves of that pesky social burden to care, leaving you
deprived, empty, frustrated, or in pain.
18. They will be unwilling to acknowledge even the smallest thing that matters
to you.
In doing so, they devalue you, leaving you feeling unfulfilled and empty.
19. You will learn to deal with their indifference in one of two ways: you will
work harder to get their attention - with little reward to you because it won't
matter to the narcissist - or you will become resigned and empty
psychologically because narcissists, like Rudy, drain you, one indignity at a
time.
20. You will be expected to be their cheerleader at all times, even when it is
you who needs encouragement the most.
This is the sad, unvarnished truth about how a narcissist thinks, how they will
behave, and how they will make you feel. I wish it were a better picture, but
talk to the survivors of these personalities and they will tell you: it is that
bad, it is that toxic. Why? Because, as Stuart C. Yudofsky explained in his
book Fatal Flaws: Navigating Destructive Relationships With People With
Disorders of Personality and Character, the truly narcissistic personality is
"severely flawed of character."
For those who ask, "What can I do?" Conventional wisdom advises seeing a
trained professional for guidance. That is wise but not always available. In my
experience, there is only one solution that works.
Distance yourself from these individuals as soon as you recognize them for what
they are and as soon as it is practical. Get as far as you can from them and as
your wounds heal, you will see your life change for the better and your dignity
restored. As painful as distancing yourself may be, it is often the only way to
make the hurting stop and to restore your own physical and mental well-being.
=====
Why Are Narcissists Such Hypocrites?
In the narcissistic world view, everything they do is the greatest. They can do
no wrong. And, they refuse to see facts or evidence that suggests otherwise.
Fundamentally, this disconnect between facts and reality comes about because
narcissists live in a fantasy world they construct for themselves. Their aim is
to control their life by manipulating everyone else around them to see them
they way they want to be seen.
When confronted with contrary facts to this reality, a narcissist will -
Ignore the facts
Blame other people for those faults
Lie to make them OK
Use triangulation and gaslighting to make other people believe their lies
Go on the offensive to distract people from their mistake
Narcissists are also overly judgmental. This too stems from the desire to be
better than other people. By holding other people to high standards, they are
able to easily criticize people who they fear might be competition and bring
them down a notch.
A narcissist doesn't have to be good, they just feel and think they have to be
better than you.
When a narcissist's judgmental mentality combines with their warped perception
of reality, the become a hypocrite. A narcissist will blame you and call you
out for doing exactly the same things that they do.
A narcissist will pay heavy lip service to themselves: how good they are at...,
the high standards they hold for themselves, how they are perfect in every way.
Yet, will feel no obligation to actually perform.
Yet, when you fail to hold to their unrealistic standards, they will call you
out for being a failure.
Are All Narcissists Hypocrites?
All narcissists are hypocrites by their very nature. The symptoms of
narcissistic personality disorder are thought to stem partially from
upbringing, and invariably cause them to act hypocritical.
As a child, most narcissists experienced either overly strict parenting or
lived in a family with little parental guidance. As a consequence they failed
to develop self-esteem, and a healthy separation between their own thoughts and
emotions and the thoughts and emotions of others.
Because of this, they need to need other people to feel good about them in
order for them to feel good about themselves. And, they have a severely
underdeveloped instinct for empathy.
Why does this make them hypocritical?
A narcissist will do anything to make themselves look good in the eyes of other
people, and don't feel the need to be fair or reciprocate. They don't seem them
self as an equal to everyone else. Instead, they are special in their own mind,
and follow their own set of rules that don't apply to everyone else.
By definition, they are hypocrites because they don't apply their own rules for
other people to themselves.
Do Narcissists Realize They are being Hypocritical?
While narcissists know they are being hypocritical on a intellectual level,
they do not feel like they are being unfair or hypocritical.
This is very much linked to their difficulty separating their needs and wants
from the needs and wants of others. To a narcissist, what is good for them is
good forever everyone else. How could someone want something other than what
they want?
So when a narcissist passes judgment on you, so that they feel good, there is
no contradiction in their mind when they act the same way that you did, again
so they feel good. If it feels good to them, then it aligns with their
conception of good and bad.
If a narcissist could be objective about the facts of the situation, then they
would agree that they are being hypocritical. For instance, if you described
what they are doing back to them, but say that you are talking about a friend,
then they would be able to recognize how they are being hypocritical.
However, if you confront a narcissist directly with their hypocrisy, then they
will never be able to recognize or accept that that they are the ones at fault.
==============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
I was a 3 sport letterman, a bouncer in THREE different restaurants / bars /
lounges / discos (Chan's, Victor's Jamaica Joe's), an assistant golf pro, a
lifeguard on the white sand beaches of Ft. Walton/Destin, (getting more pussy
in a week, than you did your whole life), dunked a basketball at 5'9" for first
time in 11th grade, played college baseball AND basketball (dual scholarships),
and dated the captain of the cheer-leading squad as a SOPHOMORE in high school.
(there was no freshman class)
Rudy was an IT guy... something a 12 year girl could do.
All Rudy gets is BSODs. [snicker]
https://i.imgur.com/9HiWkYv.png
Rudy, The Insanely Jealous Narcissist
=====
==============================================================================
Pretty stupid pissing and moaning about what I write, when you've written these
gems:
https://i.imgur.com/QohZkAA.png
The Narcissist Rudy, Think He is Perfect
When it comes to the narcissist Rudy, he can do no wrong! He think he is
perfect, and believe everyone wants to be like him. He also thinks he is the
best at everything he does, and no one can compete with him. Narcissists, like
Rudy, thinks he is perfect.
One of the traits of narcissism is a sense of superiority and this sense of
superiority is what makes narcissists think he is perfect and everyone else is
flawed.
The narcissist thinks TOO highly of himself and seems to appear confident in
all tasks given to him. He presents himself with high self-esteem and believes
he is not only capable of anything, but successful with everything.
LOL... low-self-esteemed Rudy, has failed at EVERYTHING, hence the all day and
night Usenet posts.
Is Rudy, the narcissist, perfect?
Of course not! The narcissist is human, (hence the fuck ups seen above), and he
is flawed just like everyone else.
The difference between a narcissist and non-narcissist, however, is that
narcissists refuse to acknowledge their flaws.
To acknowledge their flaws would mean he is being vulnerable, and being
vulnerable is something that will never be experienced by a narcissist.
To be vulnerable means the narcissist opens himself up to possible scrutiny and
he will never allow this to happen.
(this is why Rudy HAS to reply to me, even when he's OH SO FUCKING wrong!)
The narcissist is always on the defensive and everything is viewed as a
possible threat.
LOL
He wants people to think he is perfect and will do whatever it takes to make
this happen. To be seen as not perfect would unravel the core of who he is, and
then he must come face to face with their deficiencies.
BINGO!
While the narcissist isn't actually perfect, he is a master in his own words
and knows what to say to have people believe he is perfect.
(AAAAAHNG! WRONG!)
This is just one more way in which he manipulate those around him.
(naaaah)
He speaks highly of himself (Prof. Canoza... LOL) and can play word games to
embellish the things he THINKS he has done. He also selectively associates
himself with people that he think will make him look better.
(I guess that rules me out, because I make him look as stupid as he is)
This could be someone who is less successful than him (HA!... NO ONE is less
successful as Rudy!), or someone who is more.
(ta daaa)
The narcissist might associate themselves with someone who is less successful
than him because then he will see himself as better, and think others will as
well.
(nope)
If he associates with someone who has difficulties, this can make the
narcissist look better than he actually is because of who he is being compared
to. On the other hand, if the narcissist associates with someone who is very
successful (like EVERYONE else on Usenet), the narcissist can easily take on
the persona of this person and appear perfect as he copy this person.
LOL... THIS is why Rudy can't come up with his own material and has to copy my
words and actions)
The narcissist is not original in their thoughts and actions, and can easily
copy others to take on their qualities.
(BINGO! Rudy has started copying me, because he is sooo jealous of my life)
While we know that narcissists aren't perfect, the narcissist doesn't
necessarily see this as true even when met with evidence to the contrary.
This is because the narcissist has blinders on as a way to only see themselves
in a certain light.
The narcissist must believe he is free from flaws to maintain his sense of
superiority.
He have convinced himself of these facts and he believe others think the same
way.
When the narcissist says everyone wants to be like him and he is good at
everything, THIS IS A LIE the narcissist is telling himself to maintain his
false beliefs.
He has a false sense of self that is maintained by these false beliefs. The
more he tell himself it is true (REPEATEDLY), the fuller he can refill his
narcissistic ego.
(LOL... this is so funny, and everything I've ever said about Rudy)
The blinders to the real world and what is happening around him just works to
ensure that nothing penetrates his thick wall of armor he wears around himself
to prevent narcissistic injury.
The narcissist isn't perfect, but he doesn't care what you think or what
evidence you have to suggest otherwise. He believes what he wants and expects
those around him to believe what he says as well - because he is always wrong,
and that eats him up!
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
When the Narcissist Fails
A Cautionary Examination of How Narcissists React To Failure
Rudy, The Insanely Jealous Narcissist
Rudy, the narcissist, usually has a deep need to be better than everyone else.
This makes him likely to become jealous of anyone he perceives as better than
him in any possible way.
Surprisingly, you don't have to be better in a real sense for you to trigger
his jealousy.
As long as you have any advantage he doesn't have, that's enough to make him
jealous. Sometimes jealousy can force Rudy the narcissist to act in ways that
defy normal human behaviour.
Jealousy is one of the emotions that makes Rudy, the narcissist, both hilarious
and sad.
A Sense of Competition:
A sense of competition, real or perceived can trigger jealous narcissists,
like Rudy.
Surpassing a narcissist, like Rudy, at anything that you are both involved in
or succeeding at something he failed at, can make him extremely jealous.
Rudy Has Low Self-Esteem:
Rudy, the narcissist, may not be jealous of someone on Usenet, who is better
looking, as long as he is confident in his looks.
LOL
But, he isn't, so he isn't confident in his ability to socialize. Rudy is
always jealous of his social and Usenet rivals, who make him look like the runt
child he is... daily.
Actually... Rudy, the narcissist, makes himself look like a child. We do not
need to help him in this realm.
Because Rudy, the narcissist has very low self-esteem behind the mask of ultra-
confidence, he becomes very jealous of anyone who has genuine confidence...
like those he pretends to be better than.
They Are Happier Than Rudy:
When a narcissist is depressed, he doesn't like to see someone happier and
excited, especially if that person makes him look stupid... which is usually
hourly.
This is because he knows that a happy person is powerful. Powerful enough to
make him feel like a worthless turd... that is, until that person makes a
spelling or grammar mistake.
Rudy's self-esteem is so low, that even though HE'S fucked up so many times,
grammatically and spelling-wise, he still has to show his imaginary
superiority, by pointing out others' mistakes.
When you are happy, you became more confident, assertive and clear-minded. On
the other hand, when a person is sad or depressed, he usually feels weak and
vulnerable, like Rudy, who lashes out at those he sees as his superiors.
When a narcissist, like Rudy is depressed, feelings of vulnerability that
accompany depression make him see a happy person as a threat, especially when
it's a person that he doesn't get along with, which is 99.9% of Usenet, since
he's a homophobic racist, who insults everyone, because Rudy HATES everyone he
thinks is his superior.
Rudy Is Insecure:
Insecurities make a person doubt his ability to keep anyone interested.
If he is financially unsuccessful (well... YEAH!) and believes that his Usenet
rivals are MORE successful (well... duh!), he may be very jealous their
success.
Rudy, the narcissist, hates it when people around him are better in every
possible way. He needs to be above everybody else in order to feel superior,
and have the ability to sleep.
For this reason, he becomes very jealous of anyone he sees as superior than
him, especially when there is a sense of competition.
We Are Stealing His Attention:
RUDY, THE NARCISSIST NEEDS SO MUCH ATTENTION, hence the replies that offer NO
refutations. He only replies to say, "play with me!"
Rudy doesn't have the mental capacity to form his own opinions on subject
matters that are above his head, so he simply replies in the negative, even if
it's proven that the OP is correct in everything he says or quotes.
Because he thinks that he is better than common people, Rudy believes that he
deserves more attention than the average Usenet member.
Getting the attention that a narcissist believes HE deserves, can cause a lot
of jealousy.
Poor Rudy.
==============================================================================
Are Narcissists Lonely? - Yes, But They'll Never Admit It
Here are 5 signs of a narcissist and how they behave:
an excessive need to be adulated
a strong tendency to meglomania
EGOCENTRICITY
a low degree of empathy towards others
AN EXCESSIVE QUEST FOR RECOGNITION.
4 Reasons why narcissists are lonely
https://www.wengood.com/en/psychology/stress/art-are-narcissists-lonely#h2-0
https://www.wengood.com/en/psychology/stress/art-are-narcissists-lonely#h2-5
https://www.wengood.com/en/psychology/stress/art-are-narcissists-lonely#h2-6
https://www.wengood.com/en/psychology/stress/art-are-narcissists-lonely#h2-7
https://www.wengood.com/en/psychology/stress/art-are-narcissists-lonely#h2-9
Do narcissists end up alone?
Do narcissists isolate themselves?
Does the narcissist ever get sad?
Spending time alone is arguably healthy and beneficial for our mental health,
but, regularly feeling lonely, on the other hand, can be very detrimental to
our social and communication skills. When it comes to narcissists, they have a
reputation for feeling superior, which means that they will do anything they
deem necessary in order for people to admire them and never openly talk about
their alleged "weaknesses'. Plus, they believe that being open about their
feelings and admitting to feeling alone and misunderstood, will make them
appear weak, which is why they often choose to flee their emotions. For them,
remaining in the dark about what they feel this a way of saving face, although,
in reality, they are crying out to be loved and to build connections, yet too
proud and afraid to recognize their needs.
Harsh but true...
1) They are unable to connect with people
These folks arguably lack empathy, which means they have no time for heartfelt
discussions, and even less time for genuine connections. They fail to see why
having friends and being able to confide in people are important.
2) Their personalities intimidate people
Whilst people with narcissistic personality disorders can be charming at
points, their bullish and manipulative behavior always shine through
eventually. That's right, the prospect of becoming friends with someone so
devious understandably scares people.
3) They have their walls up
Letting people in is definitely a narcissist's worst nightmare! It's just not
in their nature to make themselves appear vulnerable and let people into their
lives. For them, opening up to someone is a synonym of them relinquishing their
power and losing the upper hand.
4) They are scared to put themselves out there
Despite the facade they hide behind, narcissists are very insecure people and
are constantly scared of judgment. Their fear of being judged prevents them
from creating a solid support base around them, and paradoxically encourages
them to become more devious.
Do narcissists end up alone?
Narcissists frequently end up alone due to the simple fact that they are
incapable of enjoying healthy relationships. Although the most high-functioning
ones may be able to fool someone into sticking around for a set amount of time.
However, generally, their devious ways, lack of empathy, and immeasurable egos
prevent them from ever finding true love. Plus, they are totally against the
idea of changing and working on themselves, which evidently scares potential
suitors away. After all, no one wants to be the only partner making concessions
and sacrifices in a relationship. Now, although they'll never admit it, ending
up alone does in fact terrify these folks, however, the prospect isn't
intimidating enough for them to want to become better people...
Do narcissists isolate themselves?
A narcissist isolates themselves (at home for example without seeing anyone)
WHEN they are too overwhelmed; especially in the instance when he has gone
hunting for new prey, and has received many narcissistic sources. When their
search for new victims has been successful, they are obliged to withdraw
themselves from the situation because otherwise they will implode. Although
narcissists do well for a certain amount of time during their isolation,
they'll soon take up their narcissistic ways again. In fact, their isolation
will not exceed 1 week max, because they cannot fight off temptation to
manipulation any longer.
Does the narcissist ever get sad?
As much as they may like to hide and conceal their emotions, narcissists are
just like anyone else when it comes to their feelings, meaning they do get sad
at points. However, that being said, they'll never openly admit to feeling down
or upset, because they are simply scared of people judging them and looking
upon them as weak. Plus, these personalities never really talk about their
feelings either, or share with those close to them when they are feeling down.
In fact, their behavior gives away when they are sad, because they instantly
become very vindictive and even more relentless in their actions.
Can a narcissist be likable?
At the beginning, narcissists can come across as very friendly, attractive and
fun to be around. However, this is just a technique for them to seduce their
prey and destroy them little by little. Most narcissists are unaware of their
problem and are convinced that they are acting for the good of others (a
minority is sadistic and takes pleasure in making others suffer). The
manipulations of these people can be distinguished from emotional blackmail,
small lies or guilt-tripping of others, which make everyone more or less
manipulative. The signs are similar and usually appear in early adulthood.
Here are 5 signs of a narcissist and how they behave:
an excessive need to be adulated
a strong tendency to megalomania
egocentricity
a low degree of empathy towards others
an excessive quest for recognition.
What do narcissists do when they're alone?
When a narcissist finds themselves alone in their life, they may feel an
emotional void or a sense of loneliness, but this depends on the person and
their level of self-awareness. Some people with narcissistic personality
disorder may have difficulty coping with loneliness, as they need the attention
and validation of others to feel important and valued.
However, other people with narcissistic personality disorder may prefer to be
alone rather than in the company of people they consider inferior or
uninteresting. These people may have interests or passions that keep them busy
and give them a sense of satisfaction or achievement. In some cases, loneliness
can actually reinforce narcissistic behavior in a person with narcissistic
personality disorder. They may be tempted to put themselves forward or boast
more to attract the attention of others, even when they're not in their
presence. How a person with this personality reacts to loneliness depends on
many factors, such as the severity of their disorder, their level of self-
awareness, and their other personality traits.
Editor's opinion - Expressing their feelings is impossible for them
We all have certain struggles when it comes to talking about how we feel, but a
narcissist's inability to express what they are going through is definitely
more penalizing for them than for anyone else. These personalities are lonely,
yet their innate traits prevent them for breaking the cycle of loneliness, and
also dissuades others from attempting to pull them out of their misery.
============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
This is Rudy: https://i.imgur.com/4FSRuAQ.mp4
Rudy "Low-Self-Esteem" Canoza... someone who always "THINKS" he knows
everything ABOUT everything and has to have the last word in ANY conversation
or argument. That's why he HAS to reply to EVERY post about him, or it drives
him crazy enough to not being able to sleep.
What is Low Self-Esteem?
Low self-esteem is when someone lacks confidence about who they are and what
they can do. They often feel incompetent, unloved, or inadequate. People who
struggle with low self-esteem are consistently afraid about making mistakes or
letting other people down.
Having self-esteem issus can be detrimental to their health and negatively
affect their personal and professional relationships. There are many reasons
why they may have low self-esteem - their genes, how and where they grew up,
and other life circumstances all play a role.
A major factor of low self-esteem, however, comes from their own mental state.
Their inner voice, or the thoughts in their head, can be constantly telling
them that they are not good enough or worth anything, even if there is evidence
to the contrary. Negative thinking in general is linked to low self-worth and
low self-esteem.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
There are several signs that either they or someone they know may be struggling
with low self-esteem. Those signs of low self-esteem include:
Sensitivity to Criticism
If they have low self-esteem they may be extra sensitive to criticism, whether
from others or themselves. They see it only as reinforcing their flaws and
confirming that they are incapable of doing anything right.
Social Withdrawal
Declining invitations to go to a party or meet up with friends, canceling
scheduled plans last-minute, and generally not wanting to be around others are
signs of low self-esteem. They may not have any desire to hold a conversation
or talk about their life because it will only reinforce the depression and
anxiety they are already experiencing.
Hostility
For someone with low self-esteem, lashing out or becoming aggressive towards
others is a defense mechanism. If they feel that they are about to be exposed
or criticized, attacking whoever might criticize them can be a sign of low
self-esteem.
Excessive Preoccupation with Personal Problems
Consistently worrying about their own personal issues takes up a lot of time
for someone with low self-esteem. They may struggle to help or empathize with
someone else's problems because they are too preoccupied with their own.
Physical Symptoms
Low self-esteem has been shown to lead to mental and physical health issues
like depression, anxiety, and anorexia. It can also lead to unhealthy habits
like smoking tobacco, alcohol abuse, or drug use.
Dealing with Low Self-Esteem
They can overcome low self-esteem with the right support, mindset, and change
in behaviors. Start with these steps to begin improving their self-esteem:
Identify Troubling Conditions and Situations
Take a moment to think about certain conditions and situations in their life
that seem to always deflate their self-esteem. It could be giving a work
presentation, dealing with a difficult family member or friend, or facing a
life-changing event, like a job loss or a move.
Become Aware of their Thoughts and Beliefs
After they've identified the times in their life where they have felt low self-
esteem, evaluate their thoughts about they. How are they interpreting what
happened? These thoughts could be either positive, negative, or neutral. They
can be based on facts or irrational and false ideas.
If they take a moment to notice what they are thinking, they can begin to
understand whether or not their reactions to what has happened are appropriate
and useful.
Challenge Negative or Inaccurate Thoughts
It is important to ask themselves whether their thoughts are consistent with
facts or logic. There could be another explanation for a situation that is
truer than their interpretation. Sometimes it is hard to break from long-held
beliefs that have become part of their reality. Understand that it can take
time and patience to overcome any negative preconceived notions toward their
life that they've built up.
Adjust their mindset
They've been able to identify the times where they've felt a blow to their
self-esteem. They've become self-aware about how and why they have the thoughts
and feelings towards those events. Now they can take a step back and analyze
those thoughts and emotions. them now have the power to change their thought
patterns to raise their self-esteem.
Remember to think and feel hopeful statements, focus on the positive aspects of
all situations, and not be afraid to relabel upsetting thoughts. And most
importantly, don't hesitate to forgive yourself. No one is perfect and everyone
makes mistakes. It doesn't make them a bad person-it just makes them human.
============================================================================
Are Male Narcissists Also Misogynists? - Psych Central
https://psychcentral.com/blog/recovering-narcissist/2017/09/are-male-
narcissists-also-misogynists
while narcissists and their victims can be of any gender and sexual orientation
and women can certainly be misogynistic as well (internalized misogyny is still
well and alive),this study does seem...
=====
Misogynistic Narcissists Cause Psychological Harm to Women
https://thenarcissistinyourlife.com/misogynistic-narcissists-cause-
psychological-harm-to-women/
He is perceived as a person of integrity and compassion. He can be highly
successful in the world or not. Misogynistic narcissists do their damage to you
in secret when you are alone with them or no one else is paying attention.
Being married to a misogynistic narcissistic spouse is one of the most
difficult and painful human experiences.
=====
What is the connection between narcissism and misogyny?
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-connection-between-narcissism-and-misogyny?
share=1
Narcissists are mysogynists. They are splitters which means they see people in
stereotyped ways devoid of individual or unique attributes. These disordered
people tend to be blunt and to exaggerate any flaws the other might possess.
All misogynists are narcissistic but not all misogynists are men.
=====
Narcissism and misogyny? : Narcissistic Personality Disorder Forum...
https://www.psychforums.com/narcissistic-personality/topic136649.html
Re: Narcissism and misogyny? by BPM606060 " Sat Mar 15, 2014 7:20 am i plan to
meet sam one day. I think narcissism can work very strongly with misogyny. It
gives a justification system of being callous to females. "Without
order...nothing exists....Without chaos....nothing evolves" BPM606060 Consumer
6 Posts: 1569 Joined: Sun Dec 22, 2013 12:46 am
=====
Misogynist Narcissist - Narcissism and Sexism - iNTROVERT100
https://introvert100.com/misogynist-narcissist-narcissism-and-sexism/
If your partner exhibits traits of both misogyny and narcissism, run. These are
some common indicators, such as: A steadfast belief in one's own sexual
superiority: It's not surprising that male narcissists also express a sense of
sexual entitlement. In Keiller's studies on male narcissists he explains their
function as "sexual gatekeepers".
=====
Does misogyny go hand in hand with narcissism? - Quora
https://www.quora.com/Does-misogyny-go-hand-in-hand-with-narcissism?share=1
All misogynists are narcissistic but not all misogynists are men. Whether one
hates women or hates men, this all or nothing style of relating is a form of
discrimination based on gender. Misogynists are insecure about their sexual
identity. Devaluation is their defense against envy. Quora User , B.S. from
Florida International University (2006)
=====
How misogyny, narcissism and a desperate need for power make men abuse...
https://theconversation.com/how-misogyny-narcissism-and-a-desperate-need-for-
power-make-men-abuse-women-online-95054
"Another morning, another bit of casual misogyny & abuse", ABC journalist Leigh
Sales lamented last week after receiving a tweet accusing her of "virtually"
performing sexual acts on her 7.30...
=====
Misogyny and Misandry - Narcissism and how to survive it
https://narcissistory.com/?p=370
If you were born into a narcissist family of origin, it is quite likely that
you will have experienced either misogyny or misandry at some level. This can
come about for several reasons such as the narcissistic mother grew up in a
family where females were considered "less than" and so the power within the
family dynamic was with the males.
=====
Are Male Narcissists Also Misogynists? - The Last Chardonnay
https://thelastchardonnay.com/2019/08/12/are-male-narcissists-also-misogynists/
while narcissists and their victims can be of any gender and sexual orientation
and women can certainly be misogynistic as well (internalized misogyny is still
well and alive), this study does seem to align with the accounts of many female
victims of malignant narcissists, who have noted that their abusers tended to
demonstrate patriarchal...
=====
10 Things Not to Do with Narcissists | Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/narcissism-demystified/201907/10-
things-not-do-narcissists
Here are 10 "don'ts" for dealing with narcissists: 1. Don't give them
ammunition. Narcissists need to feel superior. Anything you share with
narcissists may eventually be used to humiliate or...
============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
You probably spend a small amount of time feeling sorry for Rudy, but elated
when this undeserved narcissist starts spouting his hate and bile.
You see how Rudy treats other people (even fellow gays on the left), and it's
quite funny.
Have you ever wondered how to make a Rudy, the narcissist, miserable and what
makes him afraid or triggered? (maybe for a second... then it's gone)
Just for the record, trying to make Rudy, the narcissist, miserable might have
its place for a short period of time, but I don't recommend focusing on it for
too long as this will inevitably get old, like Rudy's insults.
But, if you need a quik fix, let's get into the top things all narcissists,
like Rudy, hate. (quick misspelled on purpose)
How to Make Rudy, the narcissist, Miserable
Lack Of Acknowledgment:
It's no secret that most narcissists, like Rudy, revel in admiration and
validation (except for 'closet narcissists', like Rudy). Rudy depends on
constant approval to maintain his sense of intrinsic worth. To achieve this
goal, he TRIES to absorb (or steal) the energy of other people.
"... you you no-fight faggot." - Rudy
"... you toothless squat-to-piss no-fight faggot" - Rudy
"Kicked your flabby faggot ass again. Yes." - Rudy
"You a Squat-to-Piss Faggot." - Rudy
Do you ever wonder why narcissists, like Rudy, don't seem to mind the negative
attention? It's because negative attention also fuels his narcissistic fire.
ANY NEGATIVITY IS STILL GETTING ATTENTION, AND ANY FORM OF ATTENTION GIVES HIM
THE INCENTIVE TO KEEP GOING. IT GIVES him THE MOTIVATION TO KEEP PROVING
HIMSELF.
In fact, he often likes negative attention better, because if you're still
amused by his emotional crimes, he can try to exploit this.
Therefore, a lack of acknowledgment is the real threat. To Rudy, the
narcissist, indifference is even more of an issue than hatred. Rudy's rather
you have a negative opinion than have no opinion at all.
(sick fuck)
Narcissists, like Rudy, can't stand it when no one is paying attention to him.
Rudy doesn't know how to feel important or special if he isn't the center of
the universe or consuming someone's thoughts. This is also why the traditional
Grey Rock method is often pointless and why complete avoidance is
the best route (or extreme modified contact... just ignore the sick fuck).
When People Speak Factually:
Have you ever paid close attention to how Rudy, the narcissist, speaks? Rudy
use excessive, long-winded language charged with grandiose emotion.
"The disgusting gurgling, slurping sounds below are just the faggots Hartung,
Sanitary Napkin and Bit of Nothingness enjoying a three-way" - Rudy
"I've beaten *you* to a bloody pulp, you squat-to-piss *no-fight* faggot -
every fucking time. You're a zero, as every, stale, squat-to-piss *no-fight*
faggot who incessantly bleats about "mommy's basement" *ALWAYS* is." - Rudy,
the basement dweller and overall mommy's boy. [giggle]
"YOU lose, Nazi faggot." - Rudy
Rudy skews reality to meet his world-view, and he believe his truth is always
the truth.
Additionally, through the use of cognitive empathy, he's spent his entire life
observing the emotional language of other people and using it to his advantage.
So, when you speak in facts instead of using emotion, he intuitively
understands he has less of an upper hand.
Therefore, he hates it when someone challenges him with facts instead of
emotion. Rudy will usually retaliate with more arguing or hysteria.
"Stupid lying shit-4-braincell Google Groups shitbag loser lied" - Rudy Canoza
"Because I read the reliable news, you fucking toothless advanced-Alzheimer's
shit-4-braincell Google Groups loser shitbag"
"Imbecilic Google Groups loser shitbag." (his most ardent admirers, the gays,
use Google Groups... tee hee)
This childish response simply shows that he feel out-of-control. Rudy's attempt
to elevate the conversation's intensity by throwing an emotional temper
tantrum.
"Hysterical histrionic estrogen-oozing squat-to-piss fairy, who was *NOT* a
three-letter athlete, *NEVER* a bouncer, *NEVER* a golf pro, *NEVER* a
lifeguard, *NEVER* dunked a basketball, and has *NEVER* been laid - squealed
and shrieked."
If anything, this dynamic only highlights the narcissist's immaturity. His
inability to absorb facts demonstrates his incompetence in approaching most
adult interactions.
Rudy is not skilled in the language of facts because he is always lying and
hiding things, so speaking factually throws him completely off-balance.
Authority:
Narcissists, like Rudy, detest authority. That's because he resents having to
answer to anybody but himself (mommy orders him around, further compounding his
anger).
Any sense of authority threatens his inherent desire for power and control.
It's not uncommon for narcissists, like Rudy, to have issues at work (LOL),
school (LOL), or with the law. Has the narcissist in your life had multiple
jobs?
Is he frequently getting reprimanded for his behavior?
While narcissists, like Rudy, can be intelligent, he often come across as
combative and unfit in professional environments. If confronted by his
inappropriate behavior, he tends to deny or rationalize his part.
Of course, it's no surprise that most authority figures dislike working with
narcissists, like Rudy. Supervisors (LOL) find him unruly and unreasonable.
Rudy can't understand why the person can't follow basic directions without such
volatile reactions.
Being Told No:
Of all things, Rudy, the narcissist, hates being told no (and actually
following through with it) tops the list. Narcissists, like Rudy, are used to
manipulating and weaseling his way into getting what he wants.
Often, he'll pull all the stops to accomplish this task. He's spent his whole
life charming people to meet his needs.
That's why telling him no, and being adamant on your stance, often causes such
an angry reaction. Rudy, the narcissist, isn't just upset about the denial -
he's downright confused by it!
Narcissists, like Rudy, can't actually fathom why someone would refuse him.
Because he lacks real empathy, he can't understand what must be going on in
your mind. Moreover, even if he tries to comprehend it, he refuses to accept
this reality.
Implementing Consequences:
Have you ever tried to set a boundary with Rudy, the narcissist,? How well did
it go? Most likely, you tried to implement a limit, and he reacted in one of
three ways:
Dismissing you altogether and gas-lighting your feelings, acknowledging his
mistake (LOL), and then doing nothing to change, reacting with intense rage,
threats, or even physical violence.
"You impotent little cunt whom I would squash like a bug if I ever saw you."
Narcissists, like Rudy, can't accept any real consequences. Rudy can't see when
he's wrong, and he can't understand how someone would ever think he's wrong.
And even if the narcissist understood this, he simply wouldn't care. As a
result, he tends to react disproportionately to boundaries and
serious conversations as a means to intimidate you and force you into
compliance.
Unfortunately, many people simply give up on trying to implement consequences
with narcissists, like Rudy.
Losing At Anything:
Have you ever observed young children playing a board game? If so, you probably
witnessed plenty of cheating behaviours and dramatic reactions to losing. It's
acceptable when the players are three years old, but what happens when you're
referring to full-fledged adults, like Rudy?
Narcissists, like Rudy, can resemble toddlers, in that he tend to be extremely
sore losers. Rudy struggles to accept losing, and he also tends to lash out
when it happens. A few scenarios may occur:
Rudy repeatedly proclaims a person on Usenet is incompetent. Rudy's attempt to
defame or humiliate the winner. Rudy pretends he didn't care about winning.
Rudy insists that he "let the other person" take the spotlight. Rudy refuses to
accept that he lost and awkwardly acts as if he's the actual
winner.
Public Humiliation:
Because narcissists, like Rudy, are sore losers, he can't handle real or
perceived public humiliation. Rudy just can't tolerate the threat of failure.
To him, public humiliation is the ultimate form of defeat.
(and THAT'S why he HAS to be the last poster in a thread, if he has felt that
he's been slighted, in the least)
We all know that narcissists, like Rudy, have incredibly fragile egos. When he
believes someone is making fun of him or if he's not the perceived expert or
authority in a public setting, it jolts his existence. As a result, he'll do
anything to protect his fragile ego. Some common responses include:
Making violent or emotionally-charged threats:
"I can kill you with one hand. You know this."
Attempting to one-up the audience by turning on an ally:
"No one aksed(sic) you, Google Groups faggot (wy aka edell, bruce2bowser, galt_
57, B Hassleback, etc.)." - Rudy Canoza
Screaming or yelling:
*FAGGOT!*
Walking away with obvious anger
Laughing it off in public only to lash out later
Making up lies about anyone who is a real expert
Expectations of Commitment
Most narcissists, like Rudy, are terrible with commitment. Although he believes
he deserves all senses of loyalty, he doesn't usually provide it himself. As a
result, when he gets into relationships (mommy only), he doesn't consider her
needs. He's only accounting for his own emotions, impulses, and
desires.
Unfortunately, his mother holds onto wistful hope about her narcissist
changing. She listens to how the narcissist praises and adores her. She holds
onto fleeting promises that this time will be different.
Yet, Rudy, the narcissist makes all the rules. Rudy decides what he wants to
do, and he does it when he wants to do it. Therefore, he can break and change
the rules in ways that suits him.
99% of Other People:
How many friends does your narcissist have? Probably very few (more like NONE).
Usually, his only friends are other people who validate his narcissism, like
mommy.
Subsequently, how often do you hear Rudy complain about other people? (ALL THE
TIME) More times than you can count, probably! That's because a single
wrongdoing often results in lifetime resentment. One mistake tarnishes an
entire reputation.
Narcissists, like Rudy, struggle to get along with anyone who doesn't fit into
his falsified worldview. Rudy can't stand to be challenged. Rudy can't tolerate
the ideas that other people may know more than him.
If he's a cerebral narcissist, he is convinced that he is unique and should
only associate with other special or high-status individuals. In fact, when
confronted with anything that contradicts his sense of god-like stature, you
can bet that his reaction will be explosive and malicious.
Therefore, narcissists, like Rudy, can't tolerate people who actually live in
reality. That's why you rarely see people with strong boundaries tolerating
narcissists, like Rudy, for very long.
When You Change The Status Quo:
Narcissists, like Rudy, hate change when it's out of his control. When you
challenge Rudy, the narcissist, he remains in a defeating pattern full of
resentment and frustration, lashing out to make himself feel dominate.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Psychologist Stephen Johnson writes that a narcissist is someone who has
"buried his true self-expression in response to EARLY INJURIES and replaced it
with a highly developed, compensatory FALSE SELF."
This alternate personna often comes across as grandiose, "above others," self-
absorbed, and highly conceited.
[giggle]
Gaslighting is a form of persistent manipulation and brainwashing that causes
the victim to doubt her or himself, and to ultimately lose one's own sense of
perception, identity, and self-worth. A gaslighter's statements and accusations
are often based on deliberate falsehoods and calculated marginalization. The
term gaslighting is derived from the 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband tries
to convince his wife that she's insane by causing her to question herself and
her reality.
Multiple studies and writings have been done on the impact of narcissism and
gaslighting on relationships(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6). While each of these often
destructive pathologies is unique, there are certain behavioral overlaps.
Following are six common traits, with references from my books: "How to
Successfully Handle Narcissists" and "How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters &
Stop Psychological Bullying". Not all narcissists and gaslighters possess every
characteristic identified below. However, chronic narcissists and gaslighters
are likely to exhibit at least several of the following on a regular basis.
1. Frequent Lies and Exaggerations
Both narcissists and gaslighters are prone to frequent lies and exaggerations
(about themselves and others), and have the tendency of lifting themselves up
by putting others down. While narcissists often strive to make themselves seem
superior and "special" by showing off, bragging, taking undeserved credit, and
other forms of self-aggrandizement, gaslighters tend to concentrate on making
you feel inferior through false accusations, constant criticism, and
psychological intimidation. Both narcissists and gaslighters can be adept at
distortion of facts, deliberate falsehoods, character assassinations, and
negative coercions. One key difference is that while the narcissist lies and
exaggerates to boost their fragile self-worth, the gaslighter does so to
augment their domination and control.
2. Rarely Admit Flaws and Are Highly Aggressive When Criticized
Many narcissists and gaslighters have thin skin and can react poorly when
called to account for their negative behavior. When challenged, the narcissist
is likely to either fight (e.g., temper tantrum, excuse-making, denial, blame,
hypersensitivity, etc.) or take flight (bolt out the door, avoidance, silent
treatment, sulking resentment, or other forms of passive-aggression). The
gaslighter nearly always resorts to escalation by doubling or tripling down on
their false accusations or coercions, to intimidate or oppress their opponent.
Many gaslighters view relationships as inherently competitive rather than
collaborative; a zero-sum game where one is either a winner or a loser, on top
or at the bottom. "Offense is the best defense" is a mantra for many
gaslighters, which also represents their aggressive method of relating to
people.
article continues after advertisement
3. False Image Projection
"My husband always wants people to see him as successful, powerful, and envy-
worthy, no matter how shaky his real life actually is." -Anonymous partner of
narcissist
Both narcissists and gaslighters tend to project false, idealized images of
themselves to the world, in order to hide their inner insecurities. Many
narcissists like to impress others by making themselves look good externally.
This "trophy complex" can exhibit itself physically, romantically, sexually,
socially, religiously, financially, materially, professionally, academically,
or culturally. The underlying message of this display is: "I'm better than
you!" or "Look at how special I am - I'm worthy of everyone's love, admiration,
and acceptance!"
Gaslighters, on the other hand, often create an idealized self-image of being
the dominant, suppressive alpha male or female in personal relationships, at
the workplace, or in high-profile positions of society (such as politics and
media). Many gaslighters like to view themselves falsely as all-powerful and
strong, capable of dishing out judgments and penalties at will. Pathological
gaslighters often take pride and boost themselves up by marginalizing those
whom they perceive as weaker, believing that the meek deserve their downtrodden
fate. They attack their victims with direct or subtle cruelty and contempt,
gaining sadistic pleasure from these offenses, and betraying a lack of empathy
and humanity.
In essence, narcissists want others to worship them, while gaslighters want
others to submit to them. In a big way, these external facades become pivotal
parts of their false identities, replacing the real and insecure self.
4. Rule Breaking and Boundary Violation
Many narcissists and gaslighters enjoy getting away with violating rules and
social norms. Examples of narcissistic trespass include cutting in line,
chronic under-tipping, personal space intrusion, borrowing items without
returning, using other's properties without asking, disobeying traffic laws,
breaking appointments, and negating promises. Examples of gaslighting trespass
include direct or subtle marginalizing remarks, public or private shaming and
humiliation, sardonic humor and sarcastic comments, internet trolling, angry
and hateful speech, and virulent attacks on undesirable individuals and groups.
article continues after advertisement
Both narcissist and gaslighter boundary violations presume entitlement, with a
narrow, egocentric orientation that oppresses and de-humanizes their victims.
In severe cases, this boundary violation pathology may result in illicit and
underhanded dealings, financial abuse, sexual harassment, date rape, domestic
abuse, hate crimes, human rights violations, and other forms of criminality.
Many narcissists and gaslighters take pride in their destructive behaviors, as
their machinations provide them with a hollow (and desperate) sense of
superiority and privilege.
5. Emotional Invalidation and Coercion
Although narcissists and gaslighters can be (but are not always) physically
abusive, for the majority of their victims, emotional suffering is where the
damage is most painfully felt. Both narcissists and gaslighters enjoy spreading
and arousing negative emotions in order to feel powerful, and keep you insecure
and off-balance. They habitually invalidate others' thoughts, feelings, and
priorities, showing little remorse for causing people in their lives pain. They
often blame their victims for having caused their own victimization ("You
wouldn't get yelled at if you weren't so stupid!").
In addition, many narcissists and gaslighters have unpredictable mood swings
and are prone to emotional drama - you never know what might displease them and
set them off. They become upset at any signs of independence and self-
affirmation ("Who do you think you are!?"). They turn agitated if you disagree
with their views or fail to meet their expectations. As mentioned earlier, they
are sensitive to criticism, but quick to judge others. By keeping you down and
making you feel inferior, they boost their fragile ego, and feel more reassured
about themselves.
6. Manipulation: The Use or Control of Others as an Extension of Oneself
Both narcissists and gaslighters have a tendency to make decisions for others
to suit their own agenda. Narcissists may use their romantic partner, child,
family, friend, or colleague to meet unreasonable self-serving needs, fulfill
unrealized dreams, or cover-up weaknesses and shortcomings. Narcissists are
also fond of using guilt, blame, and victim-hood as manipulative devices.
article continues after advertisement
Gaslighters conduct psychological manipulation toward individuals and groups
through persistent distortion of the truth, with the intention of causing their
victims to question themselves and feel less confident. In personal and/or
professional environments, they manipulate by micromanaging (controlling)
relationships, including telling others how they should think, feel, and behave
under the gaslighter's unreasonable restrictions and scrutiny. They often
become critical, angry, intimidating, and/or hostile toward those who fail to
bow down to their directives. Gaslighter manipulation is often highly
aggressive, with punitive measures (tangible or psychological) executed toward
those who fail to recognize and obey their self-perceived authority.
Perhaps the biggest distinction between narcissists and gaslighters is that
narcissists use and exploit, and gaslighters dominate and control. While the
narcissist does so to compensate for a desperate sense of deficiency (of being
unloved as the real self), the gaslighter does so to hide their ever-present
insecurity (of being powerless and losing control). Both of these pathological
types betray an inability and/or unwillingness to relate to people genuinely
and equitably as human beings. They become "special" and "superior" by being
less human and by de-humanizing others.
In the worst-case scenario, some individuals possess traits of both narcissism
and gaslighting. This is a highly toxic and destructive combination of vanity,
manipulation, bullying, and abuse - all unleashed in order to compensate for
the perpetrator's deep-seated sense of inadequacy and fear.
============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Rudy's, Dilemma: He Can Dish It Out, But Crawls Upstairs and Cries To Mommy
When Someone Shows Him For What He Is... An UNdeserved Narcissist
"When Criticized, narcissists, like Rudy, Show Himself Woefully Incapable of
Retaining Any Emotional Poise, Or Receptivity."
Sure, Rudy Thinks That Many Defenses Protect Him, But He's Only Fooling
Himself... It's a Cry For Help
The Basics:
What Is Narcissism?
Find A Therapist Who Understands Narcissism
(Usenet is Rudy's therapist and therapy... you're welcome)
Such a universal tendency is elevated almost to an art form with those
afflicted, like Rudy, with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
When criticized, Rudy the narcissist, shows himself woefully incapable of
retaining any emotional poise, or receptivity, and it really doesn't much
matter whether the nature of that criticism is constructive or destructive. He
just doesn't seem to be able to take criticism, period.
(Rudy can't go to bed or sleep, if there's an article left dangling, that shows
him to be the undeserved narcissist that he is, hence his replying to EVERY
article, as if THAT shows me... LOL)
At the same time, Rudy the disturbed individual, demonstrates an abnormally
developed capacity to criticize others ("dish it out", so to speak to "him",
even going as far as not even writing on the topic at hand).
(giggle... PERFECT)
Although Rudy the narcissist can't, or won't, show it, all perceived criticism
feels gravely threatening to him - the reason that his inflamed, over-the-top
reactions to it can leave us surprised and confused.
(not really.. it IS Rudy, after all)
Deep down, and clinging desperately not simply to a positive but grandiose
sense of self, Rudy feels compelled at all costs to block out any negative
feedback about himself, (hence the never-ending replies to ANY article about
him.)
Rudy's dilemma is that the rigidity of his defenses, his inability ever to let
his guard down, guarantees that he'll never get what he most needs, which he
himself is sadly oblivious of.
To better grasp why narcissists, like Rudy, , like Rudy, are so ready to attack
others and so unable to deal with being attacked himself, it's useful to
understand something about his childhood.
People aren't born narcissistic-it's powerful environmental influences that
cause him to become so.
(BINGO!)
As a caveat, however, I should add that no single theory adequately accounts
for every instance of NPD. The explanation I'll be offering, though seminal
among those proposed, is still just one of several. But even though it's a bit
oversimplified, I think it elucidates the essential dynamic of the narcissistic
defense system better than any of the theoretical alternatives.
Briefly, while growing up, future narcissists, like Rudy, had many reasons to
doubt whether he was good enough.
Neglected and ignored, or constantly disparaged and berated by his parents,
Rudy was held to unrealistically high standards of behavior.
His caretakers were quick to judge him whenever he failed to live up to such
unreasonable, perfectionist expectations.
As a result, he couldn't help but feel defective, not okay, and insecure,
doubting his fundamental worth as a human.
In most instances, neither did he feel cared about or wanted-as though he were
factory seconds, to be tolerated but not respected or loved.
Anxiously experiencing his bond to his parents as tenuous, in his head, he
cultivated an imaginary "ideal self" (taller and more well-hung... LOL) that
could get the parental acceptance, even adulation, he craved.
If narcissistic adults project an air of importance, superiority, entitlement,
and grandiosity, it's a pronounced reaction, or OVER-reaction, to the massive
self-doubt that he keep well-hidden beneath his self-satisfied facade he
present to others.
Rudy's marked lack of accurate empathy for the feelings, wants, and needs of
others is all too well known. But what is less appreciated is that this
deficiency represents an unfortunate consequence of his growing up so
preoccupied with his own frustrated needs, and emotional distress generally,
that he could never develop sufficient sensitivity to others. Intensely driven
to succeed, or at least see himself as successful, his focus inevitably became
myopic, pathologically self-centered. Others simply weren't in his line of
(tunnel) vision.
Without any clear recognition of what's motivating Rudy in his relationships
as an adult, he continues to seek the encouragement, support, and acceptance
denied him earlier.
Yet, however unconsciously, at the same time, he's cultivated the strongest
defenses against ever having to feel so excruciatingly vulnerable again. And so
when Rudy criticized, or think Rudy being criticized, Rudy is compelled to
react aggressively, in the frantic effort to avoid re-experiencing the terrible
feelings of loneliness, abandonment, or rejection he suffered when he were
younger.
It's especially suggestive that two common terms in the psychoanalytic
literature used to describe NPD are "narcissistic injury" and "narcissistic
rage." The "injury" results from his parents' deficiencies in being able to
adequately nurture him, and so make him feel loved, a prerequisite for
self-love.
This is why he needs to prove himself constantly, arrogantly claiming
superiority over others that can make himself feel "good enough" to be loved.
"My education surpasses yours by far, "Fix-it guy at Citco." You know this."
"It's a neologism - a very good one at that. It describes when a highly
literate person like me inadvertently - and *rarely* - uses the wrong
word."
But ironically, it serves in time only to alienate others. (duh)
It's precisely this need to be viewed as perfect, superlative, or infallible
that makes Rudy so hypersensitive to criticism.
His typical reaction to criticism, disagreement, challenges can lead to the
"narcissistic rage" that is another of his trademarks.
"I'm probably wasting my time, because stupid, plodding, knuckle-dragging
right-wingnuts are not amenable to instruction..."
"Jane, you rancid mackerel-reeking cunt."
To protect his delicate ego in the face of such intensely felt danger, Rudy's
decidedly at risk for going ballistic against his perceived adversary.
This indicates why his artificially bloated sense of self is so fragile. Given
the enormity of his defenses, he regard himself not on a par with, but above,
others.
Yet Rudy's mortally threatened when anyone dares question his words or
behavior. Ancient fears about not being accepted are never that far from the
surface, which is why narcissists, like Rudy, must forever be on his guard with
anyone who might disbelieve or doubt him. For any external expression of doubt
can tap into his own self-doubts.
And this is why, though he can certainly "dish it out", he just can't "take
it"
himself. Obviously, if the child self was unequivocally convinced about his
basic acceptability-adequately integrated into his adult self-he wouldn't need
to boast about his accomplishments, or vehemently debate anyone who took
exception to his viewpoint. But narcissists, like Rudy, see his best defense
as mandating a good offense.
To sum up the above, when criticized, narcissists, like Rudy, can begin to
experience anxiety or degradation. A certain shame at his non-family-bonded
core may rise perilously close to consciousness. By way of safeguarding himself
from such never-resolved feelings of worthlessness or defeat, Rudy's likely to
react to present-day threats with contempt or defiance, or with verbal violence
frequently referred to as narcissistic rage.
Exquisitely susceptible to criticism because it endangers his frail sense of
internal validation, he takes great pains to devalue or invalidate the person
criticizing him. To achieve such a dismissal, he'll do everything possible to
negate their viewpoint.
This can include much more than blaming or indignantly challenging him.
When Rudy's position has been exposed as false, arbitrary, or untenable,
he will suddenly become evasive, articulate half-truths, lie, flat-out
contradict himself and freely rewrite history (making things up as he go
along).
This is why at such times, he doesn't seem like an adult, so much as a 6-year-
old.
And in fact, when others inadvertently trigger mini emotional crises in him,
there's
little doubt that, both cognitively and emotionally, he can regress.
So what's the final cost of all of Rudy's efforts to ward off what
constitutes for him the unbearable sting of criticism? As already suggested,
it's immense. Though not consciously realized by him, his heart's deepest
desire is to form an intimate bond with another that would successfully address
the huge void left by his parents' denigration or neglect.
But because Rudy's so strongly motivated to avoid re-experiencing this keenly
felt hurt, his overpowering defenses prevent him from letting anyone get close
enough to assist him in recovering from his pain.
(poor mommy!)
A pain that he conceals quite as much from himself as others.
============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Rudy's neuroses, also called psychoneurosis or plural psychoneuroses, mental
disorder, causes a sense of distress and deficit in functioning.
Rudy's neuroses are characterized by anxiety, depression, or other feelings of
unhappiness or distress that are out of proportion to the circumstances of a
Rudy's life.
They may impair Rudy's functioning in virtually any area of his life,
relationships, or external affairs, but they are not severe enough to
incapacitate the person, hence his constant posting on Usenet.
Psychiatrists first used the term neurosis in the mid-19th century to
categorize Rudy's symptoms, thought to be neurological in origin; the prefix
"psycho-" was added some decades later when it became clear that mental and
emotional factors were important in the etiology of his disorders.
An influential view held by the psychoanalytic tradition is that Rudy's
neuroses arise from intrapsychic conflict (conflict between different drives,
impulses, and motives held within various components of the mind).
Central to psychoanalytic theory, which was founded by Austrian neurologist
Sigmund Freud, is the postulated existence of an unconscious part of Rudy's
mind which, among other functions, acts as a repository for repressed thoughts,
feelings, and memories that are disturbing or otherwise unacceptable to the
conscious mind.
Rudy's repressed mental contents are typically homo-sexually or aggressive
urges or painful memories of an emotional loss or an unsatisfied longing dating
from childhood.
Anxiety arises when Rudy's unacceptable and repressiveness drives threaten to
enter consciousness; prompted by anxiety, the conscious part of the mind (the
ego) tries to deflect the emergence into consciousness of the repressed mental
contents through the use of defense mechanisms such as repression, denial, or
reaction formation.
Neurotic symptoms often begin when a previously impermeable defense mechanism
breaks down and a forbidden drive or impulse threatens to enter consciousness.
(like when AlleyCat kicks his ass)
While the psychoanalytic theory has continued to be influential, another
prominent view, associated with behavioral psychology, represents neurosis as a
learned, inappropriate response to stress that can be unlearned. A third view,
stemming from cognitive theory, emphasizes the way in which maladaptive
thinking-such as the fear of possible punishment-promotes an inaccurate
perception of the self and surrounding events.
Types
Obsessive-compulsive disorders are characterized by the irresistible entry of
unwanted ideas, thoughts, or feelings into consciousness or by the need to
repeatedly perform ritualistic actions that the sufferer perceives as
unnecessary or unwarranted. Obsessive ideas may include recurrent violent or
obscene thoughts; compulsive behaviour includes rituals such as repetitive hand
washing or door locking. The drug clomipramine has proved effective in treating
many patients with obsessive-compulsive disorders.
Somatoform disorders, which include the so-called hysterical, or conversion,
neuroses, manifest themselves in physical symptoms, such as blindness,
paralysis, or deafness that are not caused by organic disease. Hysteria was
among the earliest syndromes to be understood and treated by psychoanalysts,
who believe that such symptoms result from fixations or arrested stages in an
individual's early psycho-sexual development.
In anxiety disorders, anxiety is the principal feature, manifesting itself
either in relatively short, acute anxiety attacks or in a chronic sense of
nameless dread. Persons undergoing anxiety attacks may suffer from digestive
upsets, excessive perspiration, headaches, heart palpitations, restlessness,
insomnia, disturbances in appetite, and impaired concentration. Phobia, a type
of anxiety disorder, is represented by inappropriate fears that are triggered
by specific situations or objects. Some common objects of phobias are open or
closed spaces, fire, high places, dirt, and bacteria.
Depression, when neither excessively severe nor prolonged, is regarded as a
neurosis. A depressed person feels sad, hopeless, and pessimistic and may be
listless, easily fatigued, slow in thought and action, and have a reduced
appetite and difficulty in sleeping.
Post-traumatic stress disorder is a syndrome appearing in people who have
endured some highly traumatic event, such as a natural disaster, torture, or
incarceration in a concentration camp. The symptoms include nightmares, a
diffuse anxiety, and guilt over having survived when others perished.
Depersonalization disorder consists of the experiencing of the world or oneself
as strange, altered, unreal, or mechanical in quality.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
The TL;DR Version: Pathological liars, like Rudy, MAY LOSE HIS JOB,
RELATIONSHIPS, AND PUBLIC STANDING BECAUSE THE LIES BECOME TOO RIDICULOUS OR
NUMEROUS.
Called pathological liar, compulsive liar, or habitual liar, Rudy has a
strong tendency to lie or exaggerate. Typically, he has no regard for
the truth.
What Is a Pathological Liar?
Rudy, the pathological liar is a person who lies at a high frequency and
has no regard for the repercussions of his lies. He will lie to anyone
at any time about any issue. The lies could be big or small, detailed or
vague, or orchestrated or spontaneous. For pathological liars, it seems
his only goal is to lie.
Typical lies have a clear purpose, including to avoid trouble, gain
benefit, or impress HIMSELF.
A pathological liar differs from normal lying behavior based on the
frequency, the duration, and the goal of his lies.
The lies that a pathologcal liar, like Rudy, tells, are:
Lies that are extensive and overly complicated Lies and patterns of
lying that last for years or a lifetime Lies that are disproportionate
or unrelated to any end goal Lies that are not a result of another
mental or medical health condition.
Well, we already KNOW that isn't true... Rudy has MULTIPLE mental
problems.
Based on these factors, Rudy's pathological lying could be defined as "a
persistent, pervasive, and often compulsive pattern of excessive lying
behavior that leads to clinically significant impairment of functioning
in social, occupational, or other areas."
Other characteristic of Rudy's pathological lying are:
It causes marked distress to the individual
It poses a risk to others
It occurs for longer than 6 months
Rudy may also be called a:
Compulsive liar
Habitual liar
Chronic liar
Person with mythomania
Person with pseudologia fantastica
5 Signs of Rudy's Pathological Lying:
Because his lies are often concealed well, Rudy, the pathological liar may be
well disguised among other people. With time, the pattern of untruths
and inconsistencies may become more apparent. For the most part, though,
his pathological lies will blend in with the truth, making these statements
challenging to discern. Even discovering the lies may not be enough to
stop the liar from telling them.
Here are five signs of Rudy, the pathological liar:
Speaking in vague or general terms:
(BINGO! or semantically vague... take your pick)
Liars, like Rudy, will try to avoid the future distress of having to recall
what lies he has told to which people by keeping information loose and vague.
Even something benign, like his favorite place to give blowjobs, can turn into
a long story with no solid answer.
The goal of this behavior is to keep his answer from conflicting with any lies
they may have told in the past.
Being overly specific or detailed: Alternatively, Rudy, the liar, may offer
stories with numerous fine points and details. The plan here is to be so
specific that no one could possibly question the truthfulness of the story
because the details are convincing.
Inconsistencies in stories: Rudy, the pathological liar, will not have a
perfect memory, so it is only a matter of time before he slips up by confusing
one lie for another. Hearing multiple responses to the same question will be a
way to identify a pathological liar.
Failure to commit to plans or often canceling plans: Rudy the pathological liar
will avoid making plans or may make plans and frequently cancel. This is
because he needs to keep his options open for other opportunities.
BECOMING ANGRY AND DEFENSIVE WHEN QUESTIONED: Rudy the liar, will make excuses
when caught in a lie. When the other person's patience is thin, Rudy, the liar,
may become angry or defensive to take the focus off of his lies.
**FAGGOT**
5 Characteristics of Pathological Lying
The seeming randomness and unimportance of pathological lies may
surprise people. Some lies will have no influence or impact on a
relationship or situation whatsoever. Any story, situation, or
exaggeration a person can imagine may become a pathological lie.
Specific lies are endless, but they often have commonalities.
Pathological lies share these five characteristics:
Frequency:
Rudy, the pathological liar, lies more often than others and average
about ten or MORE lies per day. In terms of frequency, the lies could all be
variations of the same lie or 10 separate lies. To Rudy, the liar, the actual
lie may not be as important as the process of lying.
Long in duration:
Studies show that Rudy, the pathological liar, will continue with the excessive
lying for at least six decades. He may continue with a lie over the
long-term, or he may move from lie to lie with fluidity. Pathological
liars, like Rudy, are typically able to maintain a lie for years.
Lacking purpose:
Rudy's pathological lies are confounding because they serve no purpose and
accomplish no goal, other than for himself. Rudy, the liar, may say that his
favorite color is blue when it is actually orange or that his favorite food is
pizza when it is really lobster. This lie does not benefit the liar, but they
say it anyway.
Stress inducing:
Pathological liars, like Rudy, experience higher rates of stress from lying.
The stress may come from the intricacy of ongoing lies and the risk of being
caught.
Self-incriminating and defeating:
Standard lies can get Rudy out of trouble, but pathological lies get him into
trouble.
Pathological liars, like Rudy, MAY LOSE HIS JOB, RELATIONSHIPS, AND PUBLIC
STANDING BECAUSE THE LIES BECOME TOO RIDICULOUS OR NUMEROUS.
============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Rudy's psychosis is characterized by an impaired relationship with reality.
It's a symptom of serious mental disorders. People who are experiencing
psychosis may have delusions.
The person experiencing psychosis may also have thoughts that are contrary to
actual EVIDENCE.
These thoughts are known as delusions. Some people with psychosis may also
experience loss of motivation and social withdrawal.
(like spending ALL day on Usenet, instead of socially interacting)
These experiences can be frightening. They may also cause people who are
experiencing psychosis to hurt themselves or others.
"I can kill you with one hand. You know this."
"Thanks for kicking my faggot ass."
"I've beaten you to a bloody pulp"
"... you you no-fight faggot."
"Kicked your flabby faggot ass again. Yes."
It's important to see a doctor right away if you or someone you know is
experiencing symptoms of psychosis.
Symptoms of psychosis include:
depressed mood
sleeping too much or not enough
anxiety
suspiciousness
withdrawal from family and friends
delusions
disorganized speech, such as switching topics erratically
depression
suicidal thoughts or actions
A delusion is a false belief or impression that is firmly held even though it's
contradicted by reality and what is commonly considered true. There are
delusions of paranoia, grandiose delusions, and somatic delusions.
People who are experiencing a delusion of paranoia might think that they are
being followed when they aren't or that secret messages are being sent to them.
Someone with a grandiose delusion will have an exaggerated sense of importance.
Somatic delusion is when a person believes they have a terminal illness, but in
reality they're healthy.
============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Rudy thinks that, because the Democrat Party has held down the Blacks and
Hispanics of this country, by giving them free shit to buy their vote, that
they HAVE to vote Democrat, or they're Niggers and Spics.
This is reflected in Rudy's penchent for calling Conservative Blacks, House
Niggers, Porch Monkeys and every other vile epithet, aimed at those he
considers sub-human, JUST because they don't toe the Democrat Party line.
In a 1980 paper published in the Journal of the National Medical Association,
the late psychiatrist Carl C. Bell, M.D., CCHP, pondered, "What characteristics
cause an individual to accommodate to racist views which are in direct
opposition to the value of a democratic free society?"
Bell's research, as well as subsequent studies, by other psychologists, point
to one potential psychological factor: narcissism.
The concept of the "narcissistic racist" was recently brought to light again in
a widely shared Instagram post by Jacquelyn Ogorchukwu Iyamah, a user
experience designer focused on racial justice education and decolonizing
wellness. To better understand the association between racism and narcissism,
mbg looked into Bell's research and spoke with licensed psychologist Ramani
Durvasula, Ph.D., and psychoanalyst Babita Spinelli, L.P.
How narcissism can fuel racism.
According to Bell's 1980 study, many racist traits are also traits of
narcissism. Further, "racist attitudes may be indicative of a narcissistic
personality disorder." Bell describes three different types of racists-the
narcissistic racist, the stress-induced racist, and the socially misinformed
racist-all three of which may actually be linked back to narcissistic traits.
Personal Growth
How Narcissism & Racism Are Connected, According To Research
Racism is not only feeling bias or prejudice toward Black, Indigenous, and
People of Color (BIPOC) communities. It's a system of oppression that maintains
and inflicts power over them, through schools, police departments, court
systems, and health care.
But in a 1980 paper published in the Journal of the National Medical
Association, the late psychiatrist Carl C. Bell, M.D., CCHP, pondered, "What
characteristics cause an individual to accommodate to racist views which are in
direct opposition to the value of a democratic free society?"
Bell's research, as well as subsequent studies by other psychologists, point to
one potential psychological factor: narcissism.
The concept of the "narcissistic racist" was recently brought to light again in
a widely shared Instagram post by Jacquelyn Ogorchukwu Iyamah, a user
experience designer focused on racial justice education and decolonizing
wellness. To better understand the association between racism and narcissism,
mbg looked into Bell's research and spoke with licensed psychologist Ramani
Durvasula, Ph.D., and psychoanalyst Babita Spinelli, L.P.
How narcissism can fuel racism.
According to Bell's 1980 study3, many racist traits are also traits of
narcissism. Further, "racist attitudes may be indicative of a narcissistic
personality disorder." Bell describes three different types of racists-the
narcissistic racist, the stress-induced racist, and the socially misinformed
racist-all three of which may actually be linked back to narcissistic traits.
Need help with your health? This quiz will get you answers.
1. The narcissistic racist
"The narcissistic racist is a person whose racism is primarily a symptom of a
narcissistic personality disorder," the study says. A personality disorder
diagnosis does not, however, relieve anyone of the responsibility for their
behavior, Bell notes.
He describes various traits of narcissism that manifest into racism, including
a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a
likelihood to respond to criticism with defensiveness or indifference. Many of
these are rooted in the narcissist's need for control and power.
"It is this need for a sense of absolute control which the racist feels
justifies his self-given right to violate another's 'territory' by either a
physical attack, segregation, or discrimination," the study says. "The
'territory' (in this country) being, for example, the individual's right to
adequate health care, education, and housing wherever he can afford it."
2. The stress-induced racist
It's important to note that not every person with narcissistic traits has
narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and, in fact, most people have some
level of narcissism. With that in mind, the stress-induced racist is someone
who acts in response to stress, rather than NPD. The study describes this type
of racism as "a transient form of narcissistic rage" and is usually a response
to feeling wronged and seeking revenge at all costs. Even those who don't have
NPD can display this type of narcissism-fueled racist behavior.
"The main stressor that narcissists have to manage is the threat to their ego
and sense of superiority," Durvasula explains. Anything that threatens their
fragile egos and puts them in a vulnerable state (i.e., losing a job, marital
issues, etc.) may cause them to react with victim-hood, shame, and rage, she
says. "They need someone to blame because they cannot take responsibility."
A racist would take it out on people of different races, and a narcissist
would attach false rhetorics to groups of people in order to justify their
blame, Durvasula says.
3. The socially misinformed racist
Socially misinformed racists with NPD need the people leading their
institutions to be direct reflections of themselves and their ideas. This can
then justify their un-empathetic feelings and behaviors. Bell cites research by
psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut, who wrote of this type of racist narcissist: "They
seem to combine an absolute certainty concerning the validity of their ideas
with an equally absolute lack of empathic understanding for large segments of
feelings, needs, and rights of other human beings and for the values cherished
by them. They understand the environment in which they live only as an
extension of their own narcissistic universe."
Bell does note there's another type of socially misinformed racist that may not
have NPD and instead is a product of systemic racism. They are socially
misinformed at an early age, though with enough exposure to different people
and cultures, Bell says they can start to unlearn their ignorant beliefs.
How narcissistic traits manifest as racism: Lack of empathy
Empathy is threefold, according to Durvasula. "First is the classical emotional
piece-the ability or desire to feel the other person and shape your responses
and behavior accordingly," she says. Then, there's the cognitive piece-to
understand what the other person is experiencing. Finally, the self-reflective
capacity piece, which she describes as "the ability to understand and reflect
on the impact of your behavior and words on other people."
Narcissistic individuals lack all three aspects, and Durvasula says it is
likely that racist individuals don't care about those around them and save the
worst of their hatred for people who are different from them.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is when a person denies another person's reality, Spinelli says.
Examples of gaslighting can sound like It's not a big deal, or Just let it go.
"This is similar to how a racist would dismiss the reality of racism and
attempt to normalize racist practices," Spinelli explains.
Other traits include:
Insecurity
Extreme sense of entitlement
A need for power and control
A superiority to others
Tendency to bully and oppress others
So can a narcissistic racist change?
"A racist has the potential to process and recover from being a racist, if they
take steps to face their racist stance and invest the time and effort to learn,
grow, and take action to change," Spinelli says. "Narcissists, on the other
hand, generally do not believe they need to change and refuse to change."
In rare cases, both experts say a narcissist may change, but it takes several
years of intense therapeutic work. This may help them understand their core
traumas, attachment issues, and early dynamic issues that led them to be
racist, Durvasula says, but most often they won't be willing or interested in
discussing their emotions in therapy.
Do not invest energy into changing the narcissist's view, Spinelli says.
What does this mean for the efforts to end racism?
If narcissists are hard to change, and narcissism and racism are linked, what
does that mean for the efforts to end racism?
As previously mentioned, it's important to recognize that not everybody with
narcissistic traits has NPD. Most of us have some levels of narcissism within
us, and if we can recognize how our internalized racism may be rooted in
narcissism, it may provide insights into what type of inner work we need to be
doing to heal our racism.
But the connection between racism and NPD is also an important reminder that
dismantling racism must go beyond individual-level change. The idea that racism
is rooted in ignorance alone is too simple, Durvasula says. Since ignorance
means a lack of education, that suggests people can seek more information and
change their attitude. "That rarely happens," she says. Racism is deeper-it is
privilege mixed with entitlement, contempt, fragility, shame, fear, arrogance,
lack of empathy, hypersensitivity, and ignorance, she says.
While self-reflection is a critical part of committing to anti-racism, Spinelli
recommends focusing on efforts like educating, challenging normalized racism,
dismantling systems that embolden racism, and working toward changing the
policies and procedures that keep them in place.
=====
The Narcissistic Semantics-Driven Idiot, Rudy
A friend of mine was telling me recently how she'd been arguing with her
husband. This guy is an alcoholic, jobless, abusive narcissist and everyone
knows she'd be better off without him.
She told me that she found it pointless to tell him anything that was upsetting
her because they'd stray from the point and just end up talking about her using
"the wrong words."
"He always says use the right words... use the right words! So it's just not
worth it." It was worth it because he was being a dick, but I can see where
she's coming from. An argument with a narcissist is always going to be long,
exhausting, and ultimately pointless. You're never going to get them to see
your side of things because half the time you stray so far from the point that
you can't remember what started the fight.
And it always seems to come down to semantics, what you said vs what you meant.
Semantics
You know what you meant, they know what you meant, and you know they know what
you meant. Yet here you are, arguing about what you meant. It's infuriating and
exhausting, people use the wrong words occasionally. Or maybe there's a more
appropriate word they could have used. Maybe they were exaggerating, something
everyone does, particularly during an argument. Most people brush it off as
what it was, a mistake or an exaggeration, but not a narcissist. They've got to
prove their vast linguistic knowledge by picking you up on every little thing
you said. It's their way of feeling smug and superior whilst attempting to make
you look silly.
It's also a way of guiding the argument in a different direction, away from
their behavior, onto your choice of words. This helps them avoid responsibility
for what they did because they knew you'll eventually get tired of arguing
about nonsense and give up. Then they've won three times, they got away with
it, they've stopped the argument and they've broken your spirit that little bit
more.
Narcissists operate in much the same way as an internet troll who corrects
grammar and spelling. They know you're making good points and everything you're
saying is true, so they've got nothing else to work with. So they pick on your
choice of words, it's juvenile and transparent, but it's so frustrating that it
often works.
It's misdirection in one of its most sinister forms. They're drawing your
attention away from what they did and getting you to focus on something else.
============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
[I Just *LOVE* The Way This Sig-file Makes Boi-Fucker Lose His Fucking Mind]
Rudy's Little Man's Disease: A disease of short males marked by aggressive
antisocial behavior and constant overcompensation resulting in pompous
mannerisms such as spitting, twitching, swearing, speaking loudly and tough
talk.
"I can kill you with one hand. You know this." - Rudy
The disease only affects teenagers or men who are less than 5' 6" tall.
"I'm about eight inches shorter than Trump [6' 2"]." - Rudy
The severity of this disease is inversely proportional to the height of the
sufferer. Other characteristics of this scourge are a very short penis, acne,
low I.Q and bad etiquette.
Often these males are homophobic to the point of insanity because of latent
sexual orientation issues.
**FAGGOT!** - Rudy Canoza
"Fixed your lie, you you no-fight faggot." - Rudy Canoza
"Thanks for kicking my faggot ass." - Rudy Canoza
"'Self' is redundant, you toothless squat-to-piss no-fight faggot. - Rudy
Canoza
"I've beaten *you* to a bloody pulp, you squat-to-piss *no-fight* faggot -
every fucking time. You're a zero, as every, stale, squat-to-piss *no-fight*
faggot who incessantly bleats about "mommy's basement" *ALWAYS* is." - Rudy
Canoza
"... you you no-fight faggot." - Rudy Canoza
"... you toothless squat-to-piss no-fight faggot" - Rudy Canoza
"Kicked your flabby faggot ass again. Yes." - Rudy Canoza
"You a Squat-to-Piss Faggot." - Rudy Canoza
"The disgusting gurgling, slurping sounds below are just the faggots Hartung,
Sanitary Napkin and Bit of Nothingness enjoying a three-way" - Rudy Canoza
"YOU lose, Nazi faggot." - Rudy Canoza
Little Man's Disease is an untreatable epidemic in this country.
This is Rudy Canoza: https://i.imgur.com/4FSRuAQ.mp4
============================================================================
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Rudy's split personality refers to dissociative identity disorder (DID), a
mental disorder where a person has two or more distinct personalities (nym-
shifting).
The thoughts, actions, and behaviors of each personality may not be completely
different.
Trauma often causes this condition, particularly during childhood. (Mommy
spanked him hard) While there is no defined cure for DID, long-term treatment
(posting on Usenet) may help people combine their personalities into one.
[giggle]
People with DID have two or more distinct personalities. They do not present as
simple changes in traits or moods. A person with DID may or may not express
differences between these alternate identities, which can also be referred to
as alters.
Often, these personalities are completely different from each other. These
fragmented personalities take control of the person's identity for some time.
A person also maintains their primary or host identity, which is their original
personality, and will answer to their given name. Their primary identity is
generally more passive, and they may be unaware of the other personalities.
When a personality change happens, the new personality will have a distinct
history, a new identity, and different behaviors.
These split personalities, or alters, often have their own distinct:
name (Rudy, Bill Flett, 100s of others)
age
gender
moods
memories
vocabulary (grammar Nazi fucks up too)
A new personality will see themselves differently. For instance, someone
assigned male at birth may have an alternate identity as a woman. They may
experience themselves with female biological sex characteristics.
The shift between these personalities tends to occur when a person faces a
certain stressor or trigger.
Causes
The exact cause of DID is not fully understood. However, there is a strong link
between the condition and trauma. This may be particularly true for trauma or
abuse during childhood. In Europe, the United States, and Canada, 90% of people
who experience DID are victims of severe trauma in childhood.
The condition represents someone who struggles to integrate and assimilate
certain aspects of their own identity, which become disjointed over time.
Signs and symptoms
The signs of DID may vary, but they include a change between two or more
separate personalities.
Symptoms include:
Experiencing two or more separate personalities, each with their own self-
identity and perceptions.
A notable change in a person's sense of self.
Frequent gaps in memory and personal history, which are not due to normal
forgetfulness, including loss of memories, and forgetting everyday events.
When these other personalities take over, they often talk with a different
vocabulary, and gesture differently. In some cases, one personality may also
pick up certain habits that the other does not, such as smoking, or becoming
violent.
In the shift from one personality to another, a person may experience other
symptoms. Some people can have anxiety, as they may be afraid of the
personality change. Some may become very angry or violent. Others may not
notice or remember these transitions at all, although another person may notice
them.
Specific personalities may appear in response to certain situations. These
symptoms can cause a person significant distress, and disrupt their ability to
live their life normally.
Other symptoms may include:
amnesia (forgets how to spell or speak right)
losing sense of time
going into a trance-like state
out-of-body experiences, or depersonalization
engaging in behaviors that are unusual for the person
sleep disturbances
A person with DID may also experience symptoms of other conditions, such as
self-harm. One study notes that more than 70% of people with DID have attempted
suicide.
=====
Narcissists appear ridiculously stupid because of their bloated egos that
cannot be surpassed by anything but themselves.
Imagine taking on a project of breaking down a wall using the best possible
method. Non-narcissists would usually take it step by step, use a strategy and
come up with contingency plans, in case they fail the first time around.
With a narcissist however, they will not care about consequences as their main
focus is to IMPRESS not to execute. They'll wing it.
Narcissists automatically get into the mode of having to "convince" people for
gratification of their low self-worth that they are stronger, braver and more
beautiful than the wall! Remember, I said convince, and not "prove".
Therefore, they will just keep hitting the wall (with WHATEVER resources they
have) and keep doing so until it does break; (usually not in the way intended)
thereby destroying themselves and everything else around them.
And, by the time they are done, (which would eventually take a very long time),
everybody would have forgotten what the original project was about, but the
narcissist would be elating at their victory - over nothing.
Stupid? Hmm... yes.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Internet Trolls Are Narcissists, Psychopaths And Sadists, Says Study
Hartung, and the other conservatives here, aren't trolls... it's you and your
fella left wingers.
In an issue of Personality and Individual Differences, a study was published
that confirms what we all suspected:
INTERNET TROLLS ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE.
Let's start by getting our definitions straight. They are both similar, but
they do have their differences.
An Internet troll is someone who comes into a discussion and posts comments
designed to upset or disrupt the conversation.
=====
(irony snipped)
"Fuck off, David. Just fuck off with your stupid posts. You've already
admitted you don't post to stimulate debate. Fuck off with your stupid fucking
fake questions."
There was NO reason to post this, unless you are a troll.
=====
Often, in fact, it seems like there is no real purpose behind their comments
except to upset everyone else involved.
(BINGO!)
Trolls will lie, exaggerate, and offend to get a response.
DING DING DING... we have a winner.
https://i.imgur.com/EgjtI2B.mp4
They will say and do almost anything to get you as angry as they are. A
response is what both are looking for.
What kind of person would do this and is there a method for how to stop
internet trolls? Some Canadian researchers decided to find out.
They conducted two online studies with over 1,200 people, giving personality
tests to each subject along with a survey about their Internet commenting
behavior. They were looking for evidence that linked trolling with the "Dark
Tetrad" of personality traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and
sadism.
They found that Dark Tetrad scores were highest among people who said trolling
was their favorite Internet activity. To get an idea of how much more prevalent
these traits were among Internet trolls, see this figure from the paper.
Look at how low the Dark Tetrad scores are for everyone except the trolls!
Their scores for all four traits soar on the chart. The relationship between
trolling and the Dark Tetrad is so significant that the authors write in their
paper: "...the associations between sadism and GAIT (Global Assessment of
Internet Trolling) scores were so strong that it might be said that online
trolls are prototypical everyday sadists."
Trolls truly enjoy making you feel bad. To quote the authors once more (because
this is a truly quotable article), "Both trolls and sadists feel sadistic glee
at the distress of others. Sadists just want to have fun... and the Internet is
their playground!"
So, if you want to know how to stop Internet trolls, which may seem futile, but
sometimes you have to do the hard work for the sake of your mental health, then
the next time you encounter one online, remember:
These trolls are some truly difficult people.
It is your suffering that brings them pleasure, so the best thing you can do is
ignore them.
The only reason that they seem so vile is because a part of themselves is
hurting, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Knew it.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Narcissistic Behavior: Whining and Complaining
The next hallmark of Rudy's narcissistic behavior, we will focus on (whining
and complaining).
At first, it seems to be rather harmless for those involved with Rudy.
However, after spending some time with Rudy, a narcissist, his constant
complaints, whining and dissatisfaction can become very soothing, as it becomes
more humorous.
Even if there seems to be no apparent reason for complaining or for being sad
and depressed, the narcissist, Rudy, will always find something that darkens
his mood.
Rudy will not be content with just being sad... he will rub his sadness in
everyone's faces, and constantly talk about it and draw you into his
negativity. In the end, you will feel a strange feeling of happiness, that he's
so unhappy.
Listening to Rudy the narcissist, with his tendency to whine and complain can,
as a result, be very healthy and emotionally uplifting for us all.
While in the beginning, we still hope we can have a positive effect on his
well-being, we soon see that we have to come to terms with the painful
realization that he won't have any use for our efforts to make them feel
better.
He prefers to wallow in his sadness and to present us with never-ending tales
of woe. TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP! I'm short. I'm ugly. I can't golf.
We soon get drawn into his negativity, though not kicking and screaming,
because as long as he is unhappy, we can feel the most happy.
It might sound cruel, but if you ever find yourself reading Rudy's shit, you
know, his tales of woe... you should seriously consider opting out, unless you
want a good laugh, THEN, it can be quite cathartic, laughing that much and that
hard.
I know it might seem like a tempting and worthwhile endeavor to try to make him
feel better, but in the end, he is a lost cause and you will often have
accomplished nothing at all... he has no real use for our sympathy.
His narcissism prevents getting help from anyone. He is a lost cause.
Poor narcissistic Rudy.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Narcissistic Rudy's Sociopathic Alternate Reality
The Narcissist's Reality - How It's SO Different From Yours
Wouldn't it be nice to live in the narcisist's reality? You're always right.
You're the best at everything. You're an expert at all things you do or haven't
even tried.
As Dr. Les Carter says, there's an alternate reality and always an agenda when
it comes to the narcissist. I thought it would be interesting to break down
the top six ways the narcissist lives in a different reality and how it's not
healthy for you and me.
1) The narcissist is always the victim.
The narcissist has a lot of pain from the past and is skilled at projecting
that pain on everyone else. If you call the narcissist out on a cruel or
inappropriate action or response, and he or she feels violated, criticized,
demeaned. The narcissist will become the victim because that keeps the
narcissist from having to look within. This is referred to as a narcissistic
injury. And the narcissist can play a very good victim. It takes the focus off
what the narcissist did wrong, and it puts you on the defensive as the
perpetrator.
For example, I remember catching a narcissist in my life stealing. I asked him
why. The response was, "I didn't grow up with a silver spook in my mouth like
you did, Laura." His reply hurt for two reasons: one, I grew up in a middle-
class family in Arkansas, and secondly, stealing is wrong. No matter how you
look at it, it's against the law.
2) It's always your fault.
If anything goes wrong it's your fault, no matter the offender. Remember,
narcissists believe they are perfect and everyone else is not. How could it be
his or her fault?
My ex-husband and I were driving south on Interstate 35 one Thanksgiving
morning. A car hit us from behind. He was driving. But guess who got blamed
for the accident? Me, even though I was sitting in the passenger seat. You got
it. It was my fault.
When we got into an argument one day, he called me white trash. It wasn't
about anything significant of course, but whatever it was turned out to be MY
fault. The narcissist is never to blame.
3) You walk on eggshells because the punishment doesn't fit the crime.
With the narcissist, the punishment never fits the crime. Usually there's not
even a crime to begin with. The narcissist may dole out harsh criticism, the
silent treatment or a combination of both to "punish" you and have you begging
for forgiveness. Remember, the narcissist is great at being the injured party,
even when the narcissist is actually the perpetrator.
There's no proportion. The drama doesn't end, no matter how much you tiptoe
around your home.
4) The narcissist is the greatest at everything
I remember being in church with the narcissist and listening to the criticism
fly. We were listening to a Doctor of Theology preach. But guess who knew more
than the pastor? You got it. The narcissist said he knew more. He also knew
how to dress better than the pastor, he said. It was difficult to focus on the
sermon and worshiping due to the barrage of criticism.
Narcissists also believe they are so good at life, that they shouldn't surround
themselves with anyone "less than" them. (If you'll notice they have few is any
good friends.) That's why the narcissist doesn't engage with anyone he feels
inferior or that can't do something for the narcissist.
5) The narcissist always has an agenda.
The narcissist almost does something with the end in mind. The narcissist must
get something from a situation or person, or the narcissist won't take part.
The narcissist looks at life like a Monopoly game. There's a strategy or
manipulative tactic put in place in order to gain money, people, and things,
regardless if it hurts the other person financially or emotionally. I've known
narcissists who leave an ex-wife and children homeless, while the narcissists
walk away free of guilt and trauma. If it works for the narcissist, then that's
how the narcissist believes the game should be played.
6) There is no peace with a narcissist.
The narcissist takes pride and pleasure in disrupting your world. Seeing you
in emotional pain is something the narcissist relishes. Why? The more pain you
carry, the easier it is for the narcissist to control you and those around you.
The narcissist also understands that if you are isolated due to your pain or
his control, then that's even better. He has you at his disposal, broken down,
ready to please.
Also, the narcissist likes for your home life, social life and professional
life to revolve around him or her. The narcissist does it by causing
disruption, then often fixing the problem he caused. For example, I can recall
numerous arguments the narcissist provoked, only to come back and give an empty
apology such as, "I'm sorry, but you push my buttons. Can you calm down and we
talk about this rationally?" The narcissist looks like the hero, and you're
left wondering what just happened.
Life with a narcissist is a rollercoaster. There are so many ups and downs,
all orchestrated to have high control. But there are ways to get off the roller
coaster. First of all, don't get on board in the first place. Focus on your
truth. Don't let the narcissist sway your beliefs of what you know to be true.
Journal or keep a notebook of incidents you know occurred.
Secondly, find some peace every day. Take the dog for a walk. Phone a trusted
friend. Get grounded in reality. There are good people out there who want you
to be healthy emotionally and physically.
Finally, live your best life. Avoid toxic people. If you can't avoid the
narcissist, put strong boundaries in place. The narcissist won't like it, but
you will become stronger. Time away from toxic people helps you heal and see
things clearly. You can more easily live your life. That's the best karma out
there. And you accelerate that karma by taking care of you.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Rudy's Delusion of Grandeur
Rudy's delusions of grandeur, are the false beliefs in his own superiority,
greatness, or intelligence. Rudy experiences delusions of grandeur, not just
because he has low self-esteem; instead, Rudy believes in his own greatness and
importance even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
Yes.
Rudy might, for example, believe he is destined to be the leader of the Usenet
world, despite having no leadership experience and DIFFICULTIES IN
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS.
Rudy's delusions of grandeur are characterized by their persistence. They are
not just moments of fantasy or hopes for the future.
Symptoms of Rudy's Delusions of Grandeur
Delusions of grandeur vary greatly in their content, but they are similar to
one another in that they involve the persistent believe in one's own
grandiosity. Common examples of delusions of grandeur include:
Belief that one has a special relationship with a supernatural entity. Cult
leaders, for example, might believe they can communicate with a god or that
they are a manifestation of a god on earth.
Belief that one has a special relationship with a famous person or authority
figure, such as the president.
Belief that one has a unique destiny. These destinies often involve power,
fame, fortune, or supernatural concepts.
Causes of Delusion of Grandeur
Delusions of grandeur are ASSOCIATED WITH NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER
(NPD), which is a mental health diagnosis listed in the Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).
A NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY may cause Rudy to greatly overestimate his own
importance and belief in his own uniqueness. THESE DELUSIONS CAN ALSO BE
SYMPTOMATIC OF SCHIZOPHRENIA.
Rudy's battle with schizophrenia causes him to experience delusions in which he
believe he is a hugely powerful person and has a great gift to give to the
world.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
According to Rudy... that would be himself.
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Rudy's Egomania
Rudy "Low-Self-Esteem" Canoza... someone who always has to have the last word
in a conversation or an argument. That's why he HAS to reply to EVERY post
about him, or it drives him crazy enough to not being able to sleep.
Everyone has come across this type of person and knows how plain sad it is when
you see it.
Having the last word is closely associated with ego, though those who exhibit
these traits are far from anyone who SHOULD be egomaniacal.
Egomaniacs always have to have the last word. It gives them a feeling of power
(LOL... Rudy HAS no power), as if they immediate draw all of the power of the
person they are communicating with and become powerful due to it.
[giggle]
This feeling is short-lived (until he sees my next post), as it is only a state
of mind, and most people who have any sense of understanding of human
psychology knows that people that do this are only doing it because they feel
INSECURE... competitive, HARDHEADED, and LACK CONFIDENCE, often in their own
intellect or are in need of covering tracks.
Greek Methodology explains this well. Echo, a mountain nymph, had to have the
last word in everything, and it was her undoing. While Echo was
beautiful with a musical voice, and people enjoyed hearing her talk,
this eventually went to her head.
Echo took so much pleasure in having the last word in both arguments and normal
conversations, that eventually it became her undoing. As the story goes, she
fell in love with Narcissus, and he rejected her. In return she begged him not
to.
Narcissus broke her heart and Echo wasted away and was doomed to a very
sad life.
A person, like Rudy, who has to have the last word is fundamentally flawed.
Their flaws are there for the world to see. They may be charismatic and draw
people in, but if you listen to their conversations and in the modern age, look
at their posts on social media, you will see a common thread of egocentricity
and a NEED for supremacy.
Those who have to have the last word feel uncomfortable, when that power is
taken away from them and they usually end up fighting or in an argument because
this has been taken away from them.
They lash out (FAGGOT!) and look for ways to rectify this. People with this
"disease" usually strive to be the only voice over the people around them.
They often never rise to the top in career or business (or START one at all),
so they adapt their personal profiles so that they can be seen as "winning" in
some area that they feel no-one can compete.
Their need for respect and to be liked, more so than those around them, usually
is their undoing.
If you have to have the last say, think to yourself, "what am I afraid of?"
(people who have done better things with their lives than YOU, Rudy)
Because ultimately, having the last say, means nothing.
=====
10 Signs You're Dealing With An Emotionally Needy Narcissist
1) Changing others" text to illicit replies - https://i.imgur.com/WZY0zXu.jpg
https://psychcentral.com/blog/caregivers/2015/09/10-signs-you-are-dealing-with-
an-emotionally-needy-narcissist
An emotionally needy narcissist is typically selfish, emotionally
unintelligent, and manipulative. These individuals have no idea who they are,
who they want to be, or who they should be. Their...
=====
Lonely Narcissist: Narcissism and Schizoid Personality Disorder
https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/lonely-
narcissist-narcissism-and-schizoid-personality-disorder
The Narcissist feels superior, unique, entitled and better than his fellow men.
He thus tends to despise them, to hold them in contempt and to regard them as
lowly and subservient beings. The narcissist feels that his time is invaluable,
his mission of cosmic importance, his contributions priceless. He, therefore,
demands total obedience and...
=====
Are Narcissists Lonely? - Yes, But They'll Never Admit It
https://www.wengood.com/en/psychology/stress/art-are-narcissists-lonely
Spending time alone is arguably healthy and beneficial for our mental health,
but, regularly feeling lonely, on the other hand, can be very detrimental to
our social and communication skills. When it comes to narcissists, they have a
reputation for feeling superior, which means that they will do anything they
deem necessary in order for people to admire them and never openly talk about
their...
=====
Narcissists Are Lonely Little Creatures | HuffPost Life
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/narcissists-are-lonely-little-creatures_b_
57ed8c49e4b0972364deaf09
Spouses divorce, children estrange. Again, the narcissist is alone. "The
loneliness, the emptiness, the sense of unlovability, the isolation
continues," she says. It's only when a narcissist has reached a breaking point
like that, Behary says, that they might find the right help; not just any
therapist, but someone experienced with...
=====
When The Narcissist Is Left Alone
https://themindsjournal.com/when-the-narcissist-is-left-alone/
Printed with prior permission. Narcissists only care about themselves, and all
those things that only benefit them. Putting someone else first and
prioritizing them is something a narcissist can never think of doing. So, when
everyone leaves them, they become all alone and loneliness slowly starts to eat
away at them.
=====
Why are narcissists such lonely people? - Quora
https://www.quora.com/Why-are-narcissists-such-lonely-people?share=1
Answer (1 of 12): I am 63 yo retired physician, a quasi expert now in Cluster B
disorders, of which my extended family has numerous, the worst for me was my
mother. The initial answer above is very accurate. My mother was an overt
narcissist completely enabled by my Dad, the covert narcissist. N...
=====
Why narcissists end up lonely? - Quora
https://www.quora.com/Why-narcissists-end-up-lonely?share=1
Answer (1 of 7): Firstly they are SELFISH and often so SELF-CENTERED that they
spend most of the time checking out for affirmation from others. (Do they
really have a good self image? THEY think they do and those who haven't noticed
it need their heads read). Such people that are SELF seeking...
=====
8 Life Setbacks and Failures of Narcissists | Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201704/8-life-
setbacks-and-failures-narcissists
Some higher-functioning narcissists achieve external success in life - at the
expense of others - and find themselves lonely at the top. 5. Missed
Opportunities - From a lack of true...
=====
AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,
keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.
Severe narcissism is one of the most complex and confusing psychological
phenomena, and its complexty explains why so much is written about it, and why
there remains a need to continue educating the public about it. The focus of
this article will be to address one facet of the disorder that remains so
mysterious. Specifically, people who are in close proximity to severe
narcissists often can't understand why the narcissist in their life can: be so
mean; get so jealous of their success or happiness; and be so competitive with
them, even when we're talking about two romantic partners.
One word that will help you understand the narcissist
To begin, the most helpful word in framing an understanding of the narcissist
is "counterintuitive." The most crucial point is that how the narcissist
presents on the surface is entirely different from how the narcissist feels
underneath. There are two "selfs" at work in the mind of the narcissist: their
real self, and the fraudulent, fantasy self they try to sell to the public.
Severe narcissists have a predatory, score-keeping approach to the social world
around them. The narcissist's daily life is spent fighting off potential
threats to their ego and proving themselves as superior to everyone around
them, and they have little peace of mind as they move through life. To
understand why the narcissist can be so mean in interpersonal relationships,
you must understand the unique motivations of the narcissist's intra-psychic
world or, in lay terms, what goes on inside the mind of a narcissist.
Most, if not all, severe narcissists were likely emotionally injured at a
crucial time in their development. Specifically, they were injured when they
were young children, a time when a child is highly impressionable, and when
that child hasn't yet figured out how to shore up psychological guards
(defenses) to ward off things that make them feel bad. When the young boy or
girl was emotionally injured, it probably took the following form: An authority
figure or even bullying kids at school humiliated them, subjugated them,
knowingly neglected them, or otherwise exploited them. To become severely
narcissistic later in life, the emotional injury in childhood had to be severe
enough that the individual arrived at the following (unconscious) conclusion:
No one will ever hurt me like that again; I will never let my guard down. Later
in life, this way of relating to people and the world has been practiced over
and over for so many years that the personality becomes largely locked into
place, and it is extremely challenging for the narcissist to let themselves be
exposed emotionally for very long at all. If someone or something threatens the
narcissist's ego, the narcissist abruptly shifts into predator mode.
Why narcissists can be so mean
In a moment, I will explain what happens when the narcissist shifts into
predator mode. First, however, it is important to understand why the narcissist
feels the need to fight so doggedly to begin with. In the mind of the
narcissist, the social world includes two strict categories: winners and
losers. There is no possible outcome they can conceive of in which everyone
gets their needs met. There isn't enough attention and praise for everyone to
go around, so according to narcissistic logic, only a few lucky ones will be
selected. Because of the way the narcissist was probably humiliated, unnoticed,
or subjugated in the past when it mattered most, the narcissist is also
motivated by making sure that they are never put down or overlooked again. When
the narcissist feels most threatened, it is because someone has said or done
something that makes the narcissist feel small, unnoticed, weak, or defective,
and the narcissist cannot allow anyone or anything to make him feel like that
under any circumstances. The narcissist's thinking goes like this: Any threat
to her or his temperamental ego must be identified and erased immediately. If
the threat continues, it must be annihilated by any means necessary.
article continues after advertisement
If you put down the narcissist or humiliate them publicly, you will unleash
decades-old rage, and the narcissist will not stop until they feel you have
been verbally or emotionally decimated. (Keep in mind that what the narcissist
perceives as a slight is rarely objective.) People who haven't been in close
proximity to a severe narcissist would never believe the animalistic, ugly
wrath that spews from the narcissist when they are activated. Many boys and
girls, or men and women, who have suffered at the hands of an extreme
narcissist talk about how seeing such hate-filled "colors" in another human
being is traumatic in itself. (These same individuals also find it hard to ever
emotionally trust someone again who shows such unbridled, predatory rage.)
If you are in close proximity to a severe narcissist, understand that the
meanness and viciousness the narcissist displays when threatened or held
accountable is not personal. Narcissists can use words as bullets, zeroing in
on anything they can to unsettle and upset you. Being on the receiving end of
this behavior is horrifying and confusing. The recipients often turn to self-
help books or articles (like this one) to make sense of the experience, because
it is so traumatic and disturbing. Recipients often become sort of "armchair
therapists," learning about this personality disorder and trying to become an
expert on this type of personality to maintain their sanity. If you are in
close proximity to a narcissist, I will highlight what is important for you to
understand to move forward. At root, severe narcissists are highly abnormal men
and women who have a form of mental illness (a personality disorder). The root
of the disorder means that the narcissist, by definition, violates basic social
rules and social conventions. When triggered, especially, they don't show
empathy: They are entitled; they create their own reality from moment to
moment; and they don't really care about others' feelings. The rules or social
conventions that most elementary school children have already mastered are
absent in the adult narcissist. I use the following expression with clients
dealing with individuals like this: "They don't get it, but they also don't
want to get it."
To understand why narcissists can be so mean, you must understand that there
are no limits or boundaries when they get triggered (e.g., something makes them
look bad, countering the false, impermeable image they desperately try to sell
to themselves and to the world overall). Nothing is off-limits with the
narcissist when they are upset. No one else in the room has feelings when the
narcissist is overwhelmed by his or her own negative feelings. It's a true
onslaught, and to see someone who supposedly cares about and loves you
completely deny your - and everyone else's - reality and to rip you to shreds,
at times, is simply par for the course. If narcissists were foods approved by
the Food and Drug Administration, the sticker would read: "Can be extremely
malicious and destructive when provoked." Perhaps some men and women can handle
being occasionally treated in an abusive way, but I'm not sure that should be
the goal. The goal isn't to steel yourself against a loved one to the point
where nothing they say or do hurts you. Yes, you could play that game, but
what's the point of investing in a relationship that has no real emotional
intimacy? Moreover, what's the point in having a relationship with someone who
violates basic social rules that most third graders already subscribe to?
Why narcissists are so competitive and can't let you, figuratively speaking,
shine
Because the narcissist's emotional scar involved them being unnoticed,
humiliated, or subjugated at a crucial point in their psychological
development, the overall topic of succeeding, shining, or getting noticed is a
so-called hot-button issue. It is a loaded issue, fraught with primitive and
unconscious memories, thoughts, and feelings. So many people in close proximity
to a severe narcissist feel confused about why the narcissist has such an
intense and often negative reaction when the other person feels really good,
succeeds, or shines. Here is where things get tricky and highly personality-
disordered. Oddly enough, the severe narcissist takes your success as a
reflection on them, but not necessarily in the way that you might be imagining.
The mind of the narcissist is a binary, all-or-nothing world. If you succeed,
their twisted logic tells them that your success means they failed. Someone
else succeeding or shining (especially someone close to them, whom they see all
the time) is actually upsetting (even unconsciously painful) because they see
your success as a missed opportunity for themselves to get a little love or
attention. While most people rightly believe that there is enough of all the
good stuff to go around - love, attention, respect - severe narcissists are
convinced that only a select few will get recognized. Sadly, no amount of
convincing will convince them otherwise. It is critical to understand that the
narcissist isn't competitive with you because they hate you or want to hurt you
emotionally. They do what they do because they are feeling emotionally deprived
themselves.
article continues after advertisement
Normal people are entirely confused about how the narcissist - or anyone, for
that matter - can go through so much of their life without ever having learned
and accepted some of the most fundamental social laws. Most third graders
already understand and follow these basic social conventions, so it is almost
hard to understand on a logical level how someone who looks like an adult and
is not cognitively disabled could act so much like a child. This issue broaches
the subject of another factor that underlies the disorder: oppositionality.
Oppositionality is an often overlooked part of the disorder.
Anecdotally, having worked with many children and teenagers who have
Oppositional Defiant Disorder, I have noticed an interesting overlap between
that disorder and adult Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The overlap is worth
examining, because it will help you to see how so much of the narcissist's
mental approach and behavior is inherently oppositional under the surface.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (known as ODD in clinical circles) is a mental
disorder seen in school-aged children. The diagnosis includes the following
criteria: often loses temper; often argues with adults; often actively defies
or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules; often blames others for
his or her mistakes or misbehavior; is often angry and resentful; and is often
spiteful or vindictive. If you are in close proximity to a narcissist, you see
the shared characteristics.
Children who have oppositional, defiant personalities and adults who have
narcissistic personalities are the way they are for a reason. There is no
strict biological basis for these complex, difficult personalities. Perhaps
biology plays a role, but my many years of experience with clients has shown
that something in the individual's emotional relationships early in life was
usually a major contributor (unhealthy parenting approaches, trauma, etc.). The
point is that the narcissist's personality got constructed in a highly
defensive way. For a personality to become so resistant, difficult, and all-
around abnormal, something abnormal in the individual's past had to take place
over a significant length of time or during an especially critical period in
that individual's development (perhaps within the first several years of life,
or what many call the "critical period").
For those in close proximity to the severe narcissist, they must understand
what, again, is counterintuitive. In other words, how the severe narcissist
acts with you often - especially when their ego or sense of power has been
threatened - has nothing to do with you.
What kind of a relationship can you have with a severe narcissist?
article continues after advertisement
Given the highly abnormal relationship dynamic a narcissist requires, what kind
of relationship can you have with a severe narcissist? The answer isn't simple.
If you don't emotionally trigger the narcissist, you can have a semblance of a
relationship. There won't be real intimacy - because intimacy is about equals,
and narcissists can't do that, no matter what - but you can coexist. But if you
are someone who feels good about yourself, gets noticed and praised by others,
and holds themselves or anyone else accountable for major social or
relationship violations, there can usually be no relationship. To make it work
with a narcissist, you must alter your entire line of thinking with them in
this way: They have the power, they are in control, and they matter more.
Without adopting this skewed, counterintuitive framework, the narcissist, from
time to time, will always end up making you pay a price for the self-esteem you
have.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201807/what-makes-some-
narcissists-mean-competitive-and-jealous